Saturday, 14 November 2015

My Top Ten Whipping Songs

I've been whipping myself for missing last week's post. Even when nobody reads this blog, I still like to try to keep it regular. nyway, here's ten songs to flagellate myself to...

10. Doris Day - The Deadwood Stage

Doris Day is Calamity Jane. I'm not a huge fan of 50s musicals, but I do like this song. Shame Day's co-star Howard 'Clayton Starbar' Keel doesn't turn up on backing vocals.
Whip crack-away, whip crack-away, whip crack-awaaaaaayyyyy!
9. Everclear - Misery Whip

Everclear are virtually unknown in the UK, so I'm not sure how got into them... other than through the "chuck-out" box in the radio station where I used to work, where all the CDs that the station would never play in a million years ended up. Actually, I discovered some of my favourite artists through that box - including pre-Common People Pulp, Aimee Mann and... erm... Jellyfish.

This isn't one of Everclear's best: it's a pretty average album track in truth, but I was such a big fan back in the day, it still brings back good memories.

8. Suede - Whipsnade

At first glance, Brett would appear to be singing about the zoo here... which would make its inclusion a bit of a stretch, even for me, were it not for the second verse of this superior Suede b-side...
We are only young
But we style out future in the shadow of guns
We are not idle rich

So we smile for tomorrow with a bitch of an itch
'Cause when the stylized kick of the filmstar whip,
Cracks down on the millions, cracks the kids on the hips
We'll be moving like Nuryev at night
See - it's got an actual whip in it and everything. Sorted.

7. Jeff Bridges & The Abiders - She Lay Her Whip Down

Yes, that Jeff Bridges.

Coolest man on the planet?

He calls his band The Abiders.

'Nuff said.

6. The Allman Brothers - Whipping Post

Classic 'my woman done me wrong' song by the Southern whipping boys.

5. Tim Buckley - Make It Right

You probably wouldn't expect Jeff's dad to be quite so kinky...
Trying a little trick honey, ah, that you never used before
I wanna be your victim, your sweet little victim of love
Come on and beat me, whip me, spank me
Mama, make it right again, oh no, no, no, no 
4. Icicle Works - Whipping Boy

Poor old Ian McNabb... why does everybody always put the blame on him? Great bluesy riff 'n' growl on this one.

3. Gomez - Whippin' Piccadilly

Gomez were a pretty good band, spoilt by too high an opinion of themselves. I remember seeing them play live in the late 90s and they did about 27 encores. Actually, we left before the end, so they might still be doing those encores as I type. Come on, guys, you were hardly James Brown.

This was their biggest hit, and it still sounds cool. Watch out for a very young Toby Jones in the video.

2. The Rolling Stones - Brown Sugar

Slavery, misogyny, heroin, cunnilingus, S&M... the lyrics of Brown Sugar are pretty controversial... if anyone can actually figure out what the hell Jagger's going on about. He himself has admitted he mishmashed a lot of different ideas together and wasn't sure what message he was trying to give (if any), and also that he'd censor himself if he were to try to write this lyric again.

All that said, this is rock 'n' roll at its purest - and if Tutti Frutti was about... well, what Tutti Frutti was about - then this is a worthy heir.
Scarred old slaver says he's doing all right
Hear him whip the women
Just around midnight 
See also When The Whip Comes Down and Keef's Whip It Up. These boys obviously have some kind of fetish going on...

1. Devo - Whip It

For about five seconds there, I did consider the idea that there might be a better whipping song than Devo...

What were the chances?

Which one gets you all whipped up?


  1. Glad to see the Allman's featuring.The Raveonettes have an album Whip it On.There is a song called CHains but no whips

    1. That album came up on my search as I was a fan at the time. Sadly, no whips in the songs though.

  2. Pre-dandy highwayman Adam and the Ants, Whip In My Valise:

    1. I'd like to tell you I was saving that for My Top Ten Valise Songs, but...

  3. The best use of an actual whip in popular music has to be on 'The Legend of Xanadu' by Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick & Tich.

    1. Very good point. I should have made room for that.


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