Hot 100 #10

10cc were my obvious choice for the band to illustrate our final week in double figures on the countdown, although as Jim in Dubai pointed out, I could also have had Ten City, Tenpole Tudor, Ten Years After... or, for that matter, Ten Sharp, Ten Benson, The Ten Fours or the Ten Bob Millionaires.

And my search engine also suggested The Pretenders, Yo La Tengo, Morten Harket, Frightened Rabbit, Suicidal Tendencies, Sharon Van Etten and Tennessee Ernie Ford, among others. All of which made searching for Ten songs rather difficult, since there was no way of editing out songs that included the words Listen, Pretend, Tension, Beaten, Tender... or even Extended. And there were rather a lot of songs with "Extended version" in my library.

So I'm very impressed you all came up with as many great suggestions as you did. So many, in fact, I'm going to keep the waffle to a minimum (again... we'll see how well that goes) and just plough through them, starting with The Swede...

The Fall - Ten Houses of Eve

The Builders and the Butchers - Ten Miles Wide

The Velvet Underground - Love Makes You Feel Ten Feet Tall

Mr Bojangles - Ten Dread Commandments

The Upsetters - Ten to Twelve 

The Fall - Nine Out of Ten (this week and next) 

The Wedding Present - Ten Sleep

Nicky Lee - The Ten Commandments of Men

That one was near the top of my list. Rigid Digit recalled the original version...

Prince Buster - The Ten Commandments

And also offered up this, not so much a cover version, but a call and response:

The Specials Featuring Saffiyah Khan - The Ten Commandments

That was The Guardian's favourite song of last year.

Sorry, Swede, we interrupted you...

The Wolfhounds - The Ten Commandments of Public Life

I tell you what, all these songs about The Ten Commandments makes me think back to the originals, carved into stone, and carried down from Mount Sinai itself by the one and only...

Johnny Cash - The Ten Commandments

But once again, I'm interrupting The Swede. Carry on...

United Bible Studies - Ten Thousand Miles

The Aggrovators - Ten Pieces in One

Michael Kiwanuka - Ten Years Gone

...which is a very fine cover of this...

Led Zeppelin - Ten Years Ago

Big Youth - Ten Against One

Gregory Isaacs - Top Ten

...which, given the name of this blog, is a pretty good place to stop. Although The Swede did have one other suggestion, which he caveated: I feel I may be pushing my luck now!

Hmm. We'll come back to that.

Over to George, who only had one for us this week, but it was a big 'un...

Bullmoose Jackson - Big Ten Inch

As Charity Chic remarked: "He's always boasting, that boy."

At this point, Rigid Digit stood up proud with a slightly more recent version of that same track...

Aerosmith - Big Ten Inch Record

Smut. Just pure smut. Or is it? Here's Douglas McLaren...

I have to say I was hesitating to suggest Aerosmith's "Big Ten Inch Record" because of the puerile suggestiveness of the lyrics, until after digging a little, I came across the following quote, said about a different Aerosmith jingle:

"Actually, there's very little innuendo here, it's just pure smut. But Steven Tyler is such a rock star caricature, it's hard to be offended by it." (A Certain Blogger, June 23, 2017)

As always, you go above and beyond with your research, Douglas. Thank you.

Over to Swiss Adam, who had quite a few from my library. I'll let you work out which.

Curve - Ten Little Girls

Sabres of Paradise - Inter Lergen Ten Ko

Half Man Half Biscuit -  Reasons To Be Miserable (Part Ten)

And I don't know anyone who puts peaches on their cornflakes, either.

Shara Nelson - One Goodbye In Ten

The Stone Roses - Ten Story Love Song

? and the Mysterians - Ten O Clock

The Monochrome Set - Ten Don'ts For Honeymooners

The Soup Dragons - Hang Ten

Fair play to Swiss Adam there, because the ones I didn't have in my collection, I now want in my collection. (With the possible exception of Sabres of Paradise, sorry.)

Back to Charity Chic...

UB40 - One in Ten 

Alyson, who tonight, Matthew, will be Ben Elton, adds...

Can't remember what you think of UB40 but One In Ten made a big impact on me back in the day and I still have the vinyl copy. After this crisis it might have to be renamed One In Five, but that's me just being pessimistic again. It'll all be fine (she says wearing a rictus smile).

For the record, One In Ten is probably my favourite UB40 song... I even featured it in Saturday Snapshots a couple of weeks back.

But anyway, Charity Chic hasn't finished yet...

Engelbert Humperdinck - Ten Guitars

...plus my two from last week...

You'll have to excuse me, CC, but this post is long enough with me re-running last week's links as well... besides, you're not going to top Engelbert. I'd quit while you're ahead. Although your Engelbert suggestion did lead me to dig out this...

Dreamend - Ten Guitars From Salem

C, meanwhile, was scratching her head this week...

I can only think of Perfect Ten by the Beautiful South right now and I don't even like it. Must try harder!

The Beautiful South - Perfect Ten

Alyson adds...

A lot of songs with 10 in the title but most of the ones I'm finding are not even familiar to me so going to stick with what might be your most likely pick. Although C says she doesn't like it, I think you do appreciate Paul Heaton's lyrics so Perfect 10 by Beautiful South would be a possibility.

Y'know, I used to love that song, but it has started to grate a little in recent years. Perhaps because it sounds like a template for every song Paul Heaton & Jacqui Abbott record these days. This is better...

Paul Heaton - 10 Lessons In Love

Then C returned, with a little help from her other half...

Ah, Mr SDS has just suggested 'Ten Minutes Before The Worm' by Alice Cooper. Very short and very weird, plus it mentions worms, what's not to like?

Alice Cooper - Ten Minutes Before The Worm

Gotta love Alice.

Lynchie arrived next, with another Ten Commandments song, one I hadn't heard before...

Harvey & The Moonglows - Ten Commandments Of Love

...but that is blood excellent, so thank you.

Lynchie also offered this delightful pair...

The Proclaimers - Ten Tiny Fingers

Jimmie Davis - Ten Tiny Toes

George had to go and ruin the moment though, didn't he...

Is Ten Green Bottles allowed?

He even supplied the link, just in case I didn't know what he was talking about. See, I'm beginning to think you're not taking this series seriously, George.

Back to Dubai, where Jim had dug up the following...

Dusty Springfield - I Close My Eyes & Count to Ten 

(or Marc Almond & Sarah Cracknell did a great version)

XTC - 10 Feet Tall

The Vapors - News at 10 

The Radiators - Million Dollar Hero in a Five & Ten Store 

Kingmaker - 10 Years Asleep

Kate Bush - There Goes a Tenner

Does this count?

Of course it does. It's Kate Bush.

The Thyme Machine - 10 Egg Omelette

That last one, Jim... well, I've heard it all now. I think we will let George have Ten Green Bottles after all.

Anything else from Rigid Digit?

Rush - Force Ten

John Fogerty - 110 In The Shade

Yardbirds - Ten Little Indians

Probably not one of The Guardian's favourites. And they probably would take too kindly to this either...

Mungo Jerry - Ten Little Women

(Speaking of The Yardbirds, by the way, we could also have had:

The Yardbirds - Happenings Ten Years Time Ago

...which was the first appearance of a certain Jimmy Page on guitar.)

As is often the case, it's back to Douglas (still smarting from Aerosmith) for the final word this week...

Ruth Etting, "Ten Cents a Dance", anyone? Surely no smutty innuendo existed back in the 20's?

Ruth Etting - Ten Cents A Dance

Then there is Paolo Nutini, "10/10", which surely counts for double, especially if a Scottish-Italian does Jamaican vibe is your thing.

Paolo Nutini - 10/10

Or if we are still allowing gun references (following weeks 45, 32 and 22) what about The Black Keys' "Ten Cent Pistol"?

The Black Keys - Ten Cent Pistol

PHEW!

After all those, I don't know about you, but I need a lie down in a darkened room. I doubt that anyone gives two figs for my suggestions this week (if you ever do). Still, I feel duty bound to list them So...

Laura Viers - Ten Bridges

Neil Diamond - Ten Lonely Guys

Neil Young - Ten Men Workin'

(Imagine if Neil Young had been in a soul band.)

Frank Black - Ten Percenter

Gilbert O'Sullivan - In Bed By Ten

Graham Parker - Ten Girls Ago

Alisdair Roberts & Jason Molina - Ten Thousand Miles

John Cooper Clarke - Ten Years In An Open Neck Shirt

(That's Part 1. There are a few more if you fancy digging them out.)

The Wonder Stuff - Ten Trenches Deep

The Miller Sisters - Ten Cats Down

Willie Nelson - Ten With A Two

Cheap Trick - Clock Strikes Ten

Cocteau Twins - Fifty Ten Fiftyfold

Fred Eaglesmith - Ten Ton Chain

Girl Ray - Don't Go Back At Ten

(Great video.)

Joni Mitchell - The Tenth World

Son Volt - Ten Second News

Terrorvision - Ten Shades of Grey

Double Exposure - Ten Percent

Blake Shelton - Ten Times Crazier

Gordon Lightfoot - Ten Degrees & Getting Colder

James - Ten Below

Mötley Crüe - Ten Seconds To Love

(I'm surprised Rigid Digit didn't suggest that one.)

REM - Rotary Ten

(Better than last week's Rotary Eleven.)

Royal Blood - Ten Tonne Skeleton

The Avett Brothers - Ten Thousand Words

The Bloodhound Gang - The Ten Coolest Things About New Jersey

(I guess that's funny if you're a New Yorker.)

The Divine Comedy - Ten Seconds To Midnight

The Soundtrack of Our Lives - Ten Years Ahead

The Teardrop Explodes - Count To Ten & Run For Cover

Mark Lanegan - Ten Feet Tall

Mattiel - Five & Tens

Tony Joe White - Ten More Miles To Louisiana

Jimmy Eat World - Ten

Posh - Chips & Oxy 10

Hank Williams III - 10 Feet Down

Jefferson Airplane - 3/5 Of A Mile In 10 Seconds

Whiskeytown - 10 Seconds

Jeff Rosenstock - 9/10

You're not still reading this, are you? Go out for a walk or something. I'll still be here when you get back.

Frank Hamilton - 10 Days

Loudon Wainwright - 4 x 10

Ben Lee - 10 Feet Tall

Cinerama - 10 Denier

CSS - This Month, Day 10

Doves - 10:03

Fun Lovin' Criminals - 10th Street

Future Bible Heroes - Berlin On $10 A Day

Little Green Cars - 10 O'Clock

Milburn - Count To 10

Ray Davies - Yours Truly, Confused N10

ZZ Top - Ten Foot Pole

ZZ Top - Ten Dollar Man

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Sorry, I nodded off there. There may have been more, but I'm scared of using up all my bandwidth.

OK, here's two very fine runners-up called Jim...

Jim White - 10 Miles To Go On A 9 Mile Road

Jim Croce - Box #10

And now, This Week's Winner.

Way, way back in the dim and distant mists of the past when this post started, The Swede made a final suggestion which he somehow thought might be "pushing his luck now". Do you remember that? Of course you don't, you've slept since then.

Anyway, The Swede's final suggestion was a song set on 10th Avenue in New York City.

Bit it wasn't this one...

Supertramp - Tenth Avenue Breakdown

Or this one...

The Ventures - Slaughter On 10th Avenue

No, The Swede's 10th Avenue suggestion came from Bruce...

Bruce Willis - Tenth Avenue Tango

...but not that one.

Come on guys, you've been reading this blog long enough. Was this week's winner really that big a mystery? You know my weaknesses...

This one's for Clarence.

When the change was made uptown

And the Big Man joined the band

Nine next. Hopefully there won't be as many nine songs as there were ten. But just in case... I might start writing that post now. Chip in whenever you feel like it...

Positive Presidents For Negative Times

I've been very hard on Donald Trump these past few years, I admit it. But do you know what? I think I'm coming around. I actually think Mr. Trump may well be the President we need right now, in our darkest hour. A light in the darkness inside all our bodies, you might say.



You see, it's all OK. The leader of the free world wasn't really suggesting we all drink bleach to ward off the coronavirus last week. I mean, that would be ridiculous, wouldn't it? Even the experts say so...

No, the president wasn't suggesting we all down a Domestos smoothie. He was making a sarcastic joke. Aimed at the fake news reporters in his audience. (Even though he was looking at his doctors and science advisers the whole time... who were looking back at him in horror.) Because this is what we need right now, while hundreds of thousands of people are dying all across the world: a POTUS who makes sarky wisecracks. Thank god we don't have a president who is actually trying to save lives and do some good - who needs that when we have one who can make with the funny?

Lest you think I'm being unfairly anti-American, our own Home Secretary announced this weekend that car crime, burglary and shoplifting figures are all way down on the same period last year.

I'll let you make up your own punchlines for that one.

I'm not writing all this down (or posting the humorous memes above) for the entertainment of readers to this blog. I'm writing it down so that in 20 years time (if I'm still alive), when I scroll back through my archives, I will have these reminders of the sheer idiocracy we are living in while this dreadful pandemic rages. "Someday we'll look back on this and it will all seem funny," as Bruce keeps reminding us.

When all logic grows cold and all thinking gets done,

You'll be warm in the arms of the Mayor of Simpleton

 

Saturday Snapshots #133 - The Answers

Mumble mumble mumble... an offer you can't refuse.... mumble mumble mumble... answers to this week's Saturday Snapshots.... mumble mumble mumble... The Horror!


10. Talking Lion takes another job on the side.

A talking lion would be a Leo Sayer.

Another job on the side is Moonlighting.

Leo Sayer - Moonlighting

Why is nobody familiar with this song? It's one of Leo's best!

9. Iron nits in Sinatra's holster.

Fe is the chemical symbol for iron.

Nits are lice.

Put them together and what have you got?

Felice Brothers - Frankie's Gun

8. Keep your beak shut in Haworth.

"Beak shut" is a pretty straightforward anagram.

Haworth was the home of Bronte Sisters, where Emily wrote Wuthering Heights.

Kate Bush - Wuthering Heights

Let me in your window...

7. Correct Prince on high voltage avenue sounds like Madonna.

If Prince Charles were ever right... on Watts Street...

Madonna sang Express Yourself... but not this

Charles Wright & the Watts 103rd Street Rhythm Band - Express Yourself

6. Lawyer needed for base obesity revelry.

"Base obesity" is an anagram.

Lawyers for revelry will help you...

Beastie Boys - (You Gotta) Fight For Your Right (To Party)

Too many brackets. I don't care if your mum did throw away you best porno mag, that's still too many brackets.

Still one of the best videos of the 80s as long as you remember that it... and the song itself... was just one huge piss-take.

5. Snoopy's pal drinks Sweet bourbon.

I always liked Snoopy. It was Charlie Brown I. Just. Could. Not. Stand.

Matthew Sweet likes his Southern Comfort.

Matthew's Southern Comfort - Woodstock

4. Mum of sharp-dressed men hits the big time... then disappears within a second person.

The mum of sharp-dressed men would be Ma ZZ, presumably. If she hit the big time, she would be a star.

The second person is you.

Mazzy Star - Fade Into You

3. Hard chocolates for Karen Carpenter.

Karen Carpenter played the drums.

Hard chocolates would like stone...

Stone Roses - She Bangs The Drum

I can honestly say I never wanted to be Ian Brown, but watching that video now... especially in the current climate... I do get a pang of middle-aged regret. Even though he actually does bugger all in the video, he's doesn't even sing, just ponces about on the stage. But that was the life, eh?

2. Dispute between Mark and partner: only one can stay.

Marks... & Sparks declare... This town ain't big enough for the both of us!

Sparks - This Town Ain't Big Enough For The Both Of Us

That photo was a bit misleading, I guess, because we only ever think of Sparks as being two people.

For many years, mainly because of Russel Mael's singing voice, but also because of Ron's imposing glare, I thought Sparks were European. German or Belgian or something. I still can't get my head round the fact that they were from California.

1. Unranked flamingos get Rocky.

"Unranked flamingos" is another anagram. But you could up with a non-anagram clue for these guys. Go on.

Top youtube comment for this track:

"I played this song so loud my neighbors called the cops.

My neighbors got arrested."




More wild ones next Saturday...

Saturday Snapshots #133

No need to call the E.R. - Saturday Snapshots is here to save your weekend. Here's another Ocean's Ten clues to reveal ten top tunes from yesteryear. Hopefully you won't have to work on them From Dusk To Dawn.

O Brother - Where Art Thine Answers?



10. Talking Lion takes another job on the side.

9. Iron nits in Sinatra's holster.

8. Keep your beak shut in Haworth.

7. Correct Prince on high voltage avenue sounds like Madonna.

6. Lawyer needed for base obesity revelry.

5. Snoopy's pal drinks Sweet bourbon.

4. Mum of sharp-dressed men hits the big time... then disappears within a second person.

3. Hard chocolates for Karen Carpenter.

2. Dispute between Mark and partner: only one can stay.

1. Unranked flamingos get Rocky.

If there's any you didn't get, I'm afraid you'll have to stay Up In The Air until tomorrow morning when the answers will appear... with the weight of Gravity.

Positive Songs For Negative Times #13: Hope Is Important

We just have to keep telling ourselves, like Uncle Bob said...

"Every little thing's gonna be all right."

(Even if it isn't.)

Because, as Idlewild told us, Hope Is Important...

The world is in my chaos dream

But I am not invited

Is there a way that I could live inside?
'Cause I supply
And you are the last one to know
'Cause I don't know

I don't know

This is my chaos 

You and me talk freely at night

My Top Ten Isolation Songs

Inspired by Swiss Adam's excellent Isolation Mixes, here's ten songs about keeping your distance. I make no apologies for the fact that the Number One song appeared here just a couple of weeks ago.


10. Teri Nunn - Dancing In Isolation

Stop dancing in isolation

9. The Hoodoo Gurus - Isolation

You from me isolation!

Quarantine, Isolation! Refugee, isolation!

Apathy, isolation! 

8. Toto - Isolation

I'm stranded here in a dream and there's no ticket back

I feel a cold wind blowin', my future looks black

7. John Lennon - Isolation

The sun will never disappear,

but the world may not have many years.

Isolation.

(I'm a fan of the Mercury Rev version.)

6. Joy Division - Isolation

In fear every day, every evening

5. John Mellencamp - The Isolation of Mister

I always felt like sorrow was a lesson

I always felt I needed to feel the pain

I thought happiness was a transgression

And I just took it as it came

I never wanted to say too much

To other people I did not understand

4. The Chameleons - Soul In Isolation

Oh, when you think of it, when you think of it

We're all souls in isolation

Alive in here, I'm alive in here

I'm alive in here

3. Iggy Pop - Isolation

Got a lot to do

Got a lot to say

Got a life to live

Here I stand

In isolation

2. The Darling Buds - Isolation

Silence

Does it ever get that good?

1. Warren Zevon - Splendid Isolation

Cool live version, different to the album version I posted recently. Just for variety.

Don't want to wake up with no one beside me

Don't want to take up with nobody new

Don't want nobody coming by without calling first

Don't want nothing to do with you

Positive Songs For Negative Times #12: Small World

A former colleague from my radio days now teaches journalism at a nearby college. He recently wrote in a blogpost how he wished he could ban the word "unprecedented" from news bulletins at the moment because it's used so much it's lost its meaning.

That's true enough, but I'm hard pushed to think of a better word to sum up what we're living through at the moment.

Another observation you hear a hell of a lot is that in the last few weeks our world has shrunk. But again, it's so true it's hard to think of a better way of expressing the fact that... while I've never been part of the jetset... my journeys are now limited to a once a day walk and the occasional visit to the supermarket. The rest of my time, the world has shrunk to the size of my house.

Those walks are all that are keeping me sane, I reckon... and typically, while we're all locked up and locked down, the weather has been largely glorious. (You can guarantee that as soon as the lockdown is lifted, it'll start chucking it down.)

We've only lived in this village for the last eight months, and most of the time has been so busy I haven't been able to explore the area as well as I had my previous village. The lockdown has at least offered us the opportunity for exploration, and what we've discovered has been truly beautiful. This little clearing we found in the woods is the sort of place I'd have played for hours as a kid... there was even a rope swing for Sam.

And, the pièce de résistance, this rusty old motorbike stuck in the dried up mud. Straight out of the pages of a Boy's Own adventure.

Just as I'm getting to see the world in a very different way during the lockdown, I'm also hearing songs in ways I never heard them before. Take this old Pete Seeger song, stolen largely from The Book of Ecclesiastes. I always enjoyed the melody and harmonies in version by The Byrds, but the lyrics took on a completely new meaning when I heard this on the radio the other day. It was as though I was hearing it for the first time...

To everything turn, turn, turn

There is a season turn, turn, turn

And a time to every purpose

Under heaven

A time to be born, a time to die

A time to plant, a time to reap

A time to kill, a time to heal

A time to laugh, a time to weep

To everything turn, turn, turn

There is a season turn, turn, turn

And a time to every purpose

Under heaven

A time to build up

A time to break down

A time to dance, a time to mourn

A time to cast away stones

A time to gather stones together

To everything turn, turn, turn

There is a season turn, turn, turn

And a time to every purpose

Under heaven

A time of love, a time of hate

A time of war, a time of peace

A time you may embrace

A time to refrain from embracing

To everything turn, turn, turn

There is a season turn, turn, turn

And a time to every purpose

Under heaven

A time to gain, a time to lose

A time to rain, a time of sow

A time for love, a time for hate

A time for peace

I swear it's not too late

This too shall pass.

Hot 100 #11

And so we reach the end of double digits on the Hot 100 Countdown, with lost 80s postpunk pioneers (they might not have been pioneers, I just couldn't resist the alliteration), Eleven Pond. Here they are in all their glory...

Eleven Pond - Portugal

I'm actually surprised by how few 11 Songs I (and you) could find. Somehow, I expected there to be more. Still, we start the official Top Ten next week, so I imagine we'll be spoilt for choice then.

As is often the case, The Swede was first out of bed last Tuesday morning... with a selection of tracks I struggled to find any audio for on the interweb...

Bill Wells & Aidan Moffat - The Eleven Year Glitch

Hatfield and the North - Elevenses

Thin White Rope - Eleven

Then came Lynchie, who broke the first rule of Hot 100 Club with his first suggestion...

U2 - 11 O'Clock Tick Tock (The lyrics are crap but the guitar's pretty neat)

Sadly, I struggled to find a link for that anywhere on the interweb either. The difference being, I did at least try to find links for all The Swede's suggestions.

Fortunately, Lynchie redeemed himself (slightly) with this...

Nine Below Zero - Eleven Plus Eleven

Not my fave Nine Below Zero track, he adds. I bought "Don't Point Your Finger" in 1981 and it has the mega awesome "Ain't Coming Back".

Nine Below Zero - Ain't Coming Back

That is pretty cool, thanks.

George crawled out of the woodwork next with three top suggestions...

Blondie - 11.59 from Parallel Lines

(Worth watching that video for a supremely Debbie Harry performance by Debbie Harry.)

Hank Locklin - Seven or Eleven... surely this week's winner?

Surely not, but a fine song anyway.

Before Charity Chic gets to it, what about...? 

Buck Owens - A-11

As it turns out, Charity Chic only had the following this week (which he called "My entries for this week and next!", though I'm sure he'll come up with something else for 10).

Terry Hall & Mushtaq - Ten Eleven

Lee Hazlewood - Ten or Eleven Towns Ago

I tell you what, that Lee Hazlewood could have been in with a shot... if I'd heard it before today. What a tune!

Swiss Adam dropped by next with an excellent (hidden) suggestion...

The last song on REM's Green is sometimes called the Eleventh Untitled Song...

REM - Untitled

...which is definitely better than the REM song I was going to put forward this week...

Oh, hang on... Last Minute Arrival: here's Douglas McLaren with the same idea as me...

Late to the game again. I'm going with "Rotary Eleven", the b-side to r.e.m.'s Losing My Religion. I bought the cd single back in the day and was disappointed that it was an instrumental, but now after many years I have grown to really like it.

REM - Rotary Eleven

We're on the same wavelength again, Douglas... just not a winning one this week. Thanks anyway.

And then came Alyson...

Tin Tin Out - Eleven To Fly

...featuring Wendy Page, apparently.

No, me neither.

Starting to wonder if we're going to get to No. 1 whilst still in lockdown.

I seriously hope not, Alyson, or I might be compiling this feature from a rubber room by then.

Time for Jim in Dubai...

Momus - Eleven Executioners

Sigue Sigue Sputnik - Love Missile F1-11

I like that a lot more now than I did when it was actually out. Very bizarre to find the cover version below in my collection though...

David Bowie - Love Missile F1-11

Dead or Alive - Number Eleven

Julian Casablancas - 11th Dimension

Pete Wylie - Four Eleven Forty Four

James Dean Driving Experience - Dean's Eleventh Dream

Rigid Digit found most of his songs had been chosen by others this week, leaving him with only this...

Paul Weller - 111

...which I'm not sure counts. However, knowing how stroppy Mr. Weller can get at times, we'll let him have it. Although... I'm sorry, Paul, but it's hardly Down In The Tube Station At Midnight, is it?

And finally, there was Brian, who also felt rather limited this week...

Like Saturday's quiz, you gotta get in early around here. All but one of mine taken already. I'll leave you with:

The Wondermints - Project 11

All in all, it wasn't a great week for this feature, was it? I expected more from eleven. Here's the rest of my own findings...

Daisy Chainsaw - Room Eleven

Scritti Politti - E Eleven Nuts

Cold Seeds - By 11 O'Clock She'd Left

Moss - 11-11

Transvision Vamp - W11 Blues

Hamilton Leithauser - 11 O'Clock Friday Night

Lifter Puller - 11th Avenue Freeze Out

Having listened to all of the above... well, had that Lee Hazlewood track been in my collection, I might well have given it to him. And I was tempted by Sigue Sigue Spitnik, I really was... but 14 year old Rol kept screaming 'Nooooooo!'

In the end then, I went for this. I haven't listened to it in years, but I really enjoyed the first Magic Numbers album, and this was a favourite...



Next week - it's Bo Derek running towards Dudley Moore on a beach. Contemporary references my forte, as always. What's your pick of the Ten Songs?

2020 Contenders: Ralph & Jim Bob

I haven't listened to any new music lately, partly because I do most of that on my daily commute which isn't happening at the moment, and partly because I'm preferring the comfort of old faithfuls.

That said, a couple of new tunes dropped onto my radar this week and both of them reflect what's happening in the world at the moment. The first comes from... of all people... Ralph McTell...



I'm fully behind everything Ralph sings in that little ditty... although I'm going to confess something now, and you can judge me for it all you like.

I'm not partaking in the whole "Clap For Carers" performance, because frankly, it just doesn't sit right with me. Look, I supported the NHS by voting in the last election for a party that wanted to re-invest in our National Health Service... not sell it off. But do you know what? I'd say the majority of people who are stood out on their doorsteps banging their pots and pans on a Thursday evening actually voted Tory. No offence to all those of you who didn't and still want to show your support that way: that's your decision and I respect you for it. I know the regulars who read this blog are of a similar political inclination to myself, and you're good people who probably want to do anything you can right now. 

But I can't, in good conscience, join you in that.

Because if you did vote Tory (and the majority did, judging by the election result), and suddenly now there's a crisis, you're out there virtue-signalling your ra-ra-ras to the whole street and all your facebook friends every Thursday night... well, you're a hypocrite. And I refuse to join your little party, even if I end up being judged for it.

And to the government that's promoting and encouraging this collective show of public gratitude... you're worse than hypocrites. If you'd funded the NHS properly in the first place rather than cutting it to the bone, we wouldn't have to have retired army captains staggering round their gardens with a collecting tin right now. And if you'd listened to the experts a few months back and taken serious action about this pandemic when you should have done, a lot more people would still be alive right now... and many of those would be NHS employees.

While I'm on a rant, here's the new single from Jim Bob. It's only 29 seconds long, but it does the job...





If I have any readers left after this post, I'm hoping it's those of you who dig a blog that features Ralph McTell & Jim Bob in the same post. I'm almost certain you won't be a Tory though...

Saturday Snapshots #132: The Answers

I know it's Sunday morning, Denzel, but I expect people to at least change out of their dressing gowns if they're going to play Saturday Snapshots. Then again, if you got game... you probably don't need an Equalizer... to achieve Glory.

Answers...


10. Vampire funeral held at home of boat fronts.

Bow-house?

Suit yourself.

Bauhaus - Bela Lugosi's Dead

I find it amusing that the official Bauhaus channel on youtube illustrates this tune with the poster of a Jessica Alba romcom. That's goth!

9. Amateur actors warn you about Sammy Davis Junior.

Amateur dramatics.

Sammy Davis Jr. was the Candyman.

The Dramatics - Beware of the Man (With the Candy in his Hand)

You may not know that tune, but you owe it to yourself to give it a spin.

8. Slade finalists circumnavigate.

Slade finalists is an anagram.

Lisa Stansfield - All Around The World

7. Michael, Clive, Mark... and I... buy a Scottish umbrella.

Michael, Clive and Mark are all Owens.

10cc sang about The Dean & I.

Dean Owens - Raining In Glasgow

You may not know that tune, but you owe it to yourself to give it a spin.

6. Greet Jeff Bridges while making cold cocktails.

Jeff Bridges is The Dude. I keep telling you that.

Cold cocktails would be made in a cooler shaker.

Kula Shaker - Hey Dude!

5. Releasing this tune is morally just.

Released = unchained.

Morally just = righteous.

The Righteous Brothers - Unchained Melody

4. Just why does the van have a hole in the middle? I ought to have been the one to get that.

Just Y + Von (a van with a O in the middle).

Just = fair.

Yvonne Fair - It Should've Been Me

3. Alpine artwork causes loose plates.

"Alpine artwork" is an anagram.

Karine Polwart - Faultlines

2. Massachusetts killers refuse to watch another Marvel movie.

The Boston Stranglers.

The Stranglers - No More Heroes

Whatever happened to Leon Trotsky?

1. Miss Jones keeps the belt together on male jeans.

Miss Jones is Grace.

Belt buckle + male gene (Y) = Buckley.




It's a Magnificent Seven days (well, I guess six and a half, depending on when you read this) until Saturday Snapshots returns...