The internet would have you believe that this is a photo of Keanu Reeves stealing a camera from a paparazzi and legging it. Apparently, that's not what happened... but it still seems an appropriate image to accompany this week's answers, given that they represent...
A TOP TEN THIEF SONGS
10. Learning to read on the hifi.
Phonics is the system used to help kids read these days. "Never had 'em when I was a kid and I read fine, etc. etc."
It's been a quieter week at work than usual, and I've actually managed to get done some of the basic jobs that are involved with being a teacher. Basic jobs like marking, resource development and tracking progress. The things I've felt guilty for letting myself fall behind on over the past few months while struggling to keep my head above water with nonsense like Quality Reviews, hitting inflated enrolment targets, and arguing with senior management about why 17 year olds who don't want to study English at the best of times might be avoiding turning on their home computers to log into online lessons during lockdown when there are a million other things they'd rather be doing and very little we can threaten them with if they don't.
As I said, I've spent the last few months feeling guilty about falling behind on the basics... until this week, when I finally got some time to start catching up... only to end up feeling guilty that I wasn't devoting my time to the aforementioned nonsense instead. It truly is a no-win situation.
As for lockdown... before Christmas, it actually felt as though there was a light at the end of the tunnel.
Now though...
Well, we both grew up in Eyam
And strange as it may seem
Neither of us thought we'd ever leave
But the beak in Leek is weak
And she's moved in, so to speak,
With featureless TV producer Steve
And now it's all Eva Cassidy and aphids in Picardy
And so I can only ascertain..
That the light at the end of the tunnel is the light of an oncoming train
I got some new jeans the other day. I don't buy clothes until the old ones have fallen apart, but the last time I bought jeans, I finally gave in and went up a size. There's no going back from that, is there? Not in the current climate, anyway.
But the latest jeans are even worse. Not only are they a size up, but they have an elasticated waist. Now Louise claims this is quite normal, that jeans these days often come with a certain amount of stretchiness to give them more flexibility in the joints, and I have no real objection to that since I hate when jeans tear at the knees. The last thing I want is to look trendy. And sure enough, when I checked, they're 1% elastene.
(I struggled to read the small print on the label, but I'm blaming it on the light. My ears are long gone, I need to cling onto my eyesight for a little while longer yet.)
Still, a stretchy waistline seems like opening the dam gates...
Willie Nelson releases his 71st studio album in a few weeks time (well, he's only 87), and it's a collection of Frank Sinatra covers. If they're all as good as this, then we're in for a treat...
So there's a TV show on Netflix called Sex Education. I haven't watched it, despite the fact that it features Gillian Anderson. Then again, I haven't watched The Crown either, despite the fact that also features Gillian Anderson. The very idea of her playing Margaret Thatcher break my heart... and stamps on other parts of my anatomy too.
Louise has watched Sex Education though. Make of that what you will. The other day, she was listening to the soundtrack when I recognised a familiar voice...
Yes, it's our old pal Chip 'Wild Thing' Taylor. Perhaps not the first person you'd imagined to be featured in the soundtrack to a hip, yoof-oriented Netflix show... nor the first person you'd imagine to find covering a song by Regina Spektor about listening to Guns 'n' Roses. Despite all those facts... this is a belter.
I'm thinking of starting a feature on the blog called Conversations With Ben.
Part of me doesn't want to tell you this because I don't want you acting up for the cameras, but I figure it's pretty sleazy to not ask your permission, and also you might sue me for using your intellectual copyright or something.
Since your guest post, most people are convinced I made you up anyway.
Ben:
I don't act up for anyone. My wit is and always shall be as sharp as those 70s pencil sharpeners on the teacher's desk that mangled the pencil. Use whatever, I'm not precious about what's said or used. I don't say anything I don't stand behind, and even when joking, there's not enough identifying info out there that people could use to discredit me. So go for it.
As I know you have a penchant for Mr Lewis. It's actually really well done the whole way through...
James Hetfield sees that and realises how his whole life has been a sham. Look at what you could have won...
They could make a new supergroup. Better Be True mixed with Nothing Else Matters.
Well, the News do need a new singer now that Huey has been struck down with Menieres. Which I still consider a tragedy. Meanwhile, Sting is fine.
Is he really, though?
I sat through The Bee Movie with Sam the other day. Awful. Sting had a cameo.
The only adequate thing Sting ever did was be The Face in Quadrophenia. And that was amateurish at best.
After completing my Top Ten tribute to the work of Phil Spector on Tuesday evening, I couldn't help but feel like there was something missing. Yes, I'd covered the very best of Spector's own musical output... but what of his legacy? If it hadn't been for his influence, chances are we wouldn't ever have heard any of the songs below... at least not in the way we know and love them.
(As to the photo above, Bruce probably regrets that now almost as much as the ill-advised Ben Affleck goatee.)
Prior to the sessions that produced this, Ring Ring, and other Spector-esque Abba classics, engineer Michael B. Tretow read Richard Williams' book Out of His Head: The Sound of Phil Spector. After that, he layered on the overdubs, and Abba's sound changed forever.
Roy Wood made no secret of the fact that he was aiming to recreate the Wall of Sound on songs like this one and I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday. The kitchen sink was full utilised.
From the opening echo-drenched drumbeats, stolen directly from Be My Baby, there's little doubt that the Mary Chain had been listening to a lot of Phil Spector.
Producers Johnny Franz and Ivor Raymonde set out their stall as the British equivalents to Phil Spector, and this is probably the song that came closest to emulating the Wall of Sound sound. Ironically, it was released in 1966, the same year Spector became demoralised with the music industry following the weaker-than-expected chart performance of his masterpiece, River Deep, Mountain High.
Produced by George 'Shadow' Morton, who aimed to take Spector's sense of melodrama to the next level... and arguably succeeded on tracks such as this and Past, Present & Future. Morton wore a cape in the studio, but - as far as I know - never pulled a gun on anyone.
As much as Jim Steinman stole from Bruce Springsteen, he stole far more from Phil Spector. If Spector created the Wall of Sound, Steinman built another three walls and then a roof on top. Many see this as excess, but it's that very excess that appeals to me in Steinman's work. He might get more respect if he had a little more restraint... but he's all right in my book.
Back in the 90s, record company bosses tried to get Spector to work with Steinman... to produce, of all people, Celine Dion. Spector refused, saying he had no desire to work with, "amateurs, students, and bad clones of yours truly."
Steinman, in typically Steinman-esque fashion, replied, "I'm thrilled to be insulted by Phil Spector. He's my God, my idol. To be insulted by Phil Spector is a big honour. If he spits on me, I consider myself purified."
I'm sure George will have something to say about me placing this at #2, or for choosing it ahead of anything from Pet Sounds, which Brian Wilson described as an "interpretation" of Phil Spector's Wall of Sound production technique. I will freely admit that I consider God Only Knows to be a better song than Good Vibrations (and maybe even my #1)... but God Only Knows doesn't sound as Spectorish to me as this does.
Brian Wilson created Good Vibrations with the aim of portraying his "whole life performance in one track", telling himself, "This is going to be better than You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling". Spector pulled the song apart, saying there was way too much "tape manipulation" and too many edits for it to be a "beautiful" record.
1. Bruce Springsteen - Born To Run
Well, I'm nothing if not predictable, am I?
Producer Mike Appel explains how Bruce came to him before the recording of Born To Run and said, "I’m trying to meld my lyrics with more Phil Spector-type songs and I’d like to use his production values", which Appel then helped him develop.
“Phil’s greatest lesson," Bruce later said, "was that sound, sound, sound is its own language.”
