Saturday Snapshots #474

This quiz is rigged! It's bad, it's really bad. And the people who play it CHEAT! That's how they win. If I were to play it, I would win bigly, because I am the best at quizzes ever. I would win in a LANDSLIDE! Everyone says that. People come up to me all the time and they say, "Sir - why don't you play Saturday Snapshots?" And I say, "because it's a stupid game for LOSERS!" I bet they can't even identify the people below - all of whom voted for me - or work out the link... which is clearly something to do with Russia, because everything is linked to Russia in the end. Except me, which I DENY! 

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

15. Stamp it: HIT! Or something like that.

14. Trucker paint job indecision.

13. The ability to cough up furballs and be terrified of cucumbers.

12. Lard replaced by 8's Namesake and Scouse Stan.

11. Sideshow bloke isn't completely odd.

10. Hammond, Camus and Einstein were misplaced and suspicious.  

9. Savages.

8. Cougars and Pumas run wild in Essex.

7. Geoff and Darlene shack up together.

6. Turn the wedding attendant, Ms. Juniper.

5. Oscar was a lazy sod.

4. Hendrix strums, denying the order of things.

3. She spends some of her time in Carsphairn, and the rest in civilization.

2. Hardworking insect get fried in a fish restaurant.

1. Small settlement where The Midwich Cuckoos lived... on film.

Answers tomorrow. I won't need them, because I got them all RIGHT. You probably will though: LOSERS!

Celebrity Jukebox #90: Stacy Keach

I've long been a fan of hard-boiled private eyes. Even at a young age, I was into Bogart and Chandler, Sam Spade and Phillip Marlowe. It's an interest I shared with my Dad, and though I was only in my early teens when Stacy Keach appeared on TV as Mike Hammer: Private Eye, I remember it as being a show that both I and my Dad enjoyed.

In recent years, I've been reading a lot more noir and procedural writers, but when I tried a bit of Mickey Spillane, Hammer's creator left me rather cold. He's not a patch on Chandler or Hammett, or more modern writers like Lawrence Block, Joseph Wambaugh or even Ed McBain. The TV show was better... but maybe that's only in my memory.

Anyway, I had a great affection for Stacy Keach, who signed out earlier this week to go and pound gumshoe leather on another plain. 

Lost Dogs were a 90s band described as a "Christian rock version of the Travelling Wilburys". Let's not hold that against them, because they've just saved Stacy Keech a place on the jukebox...

Is that Stacy Keach passed out on the beach?

And if that wasn't enough, Stacy was also known to lend a hand to Fascinating Aïda...

G-spots are a joy

G-spots are a G

G-spot manipulation should go hand in hand

With a nice fantasy about Tom Cruise

Or even Stacy Keach

And for completeness' sake, I'll throw these two in...

Cosmonauts Hail Satan - Stacy Keach

Gozu - Stacy Keach

In the end, this is the best tribute I can offer today. Harlem Nocturne, by Earle Hagen, with Bud Shank on sax.

Listening Post #60: Not Sounding Anything Like The Smiths

The busiest man in showbiz, Wild Billy Childish, is back with one of his many, many bands, Thee Headcoats (two e spelling, as opposed to the times he spells it with one e) to answer a question I'm guessing he must have been asked a couple of times over the years. 

Why didn't you sound like The Smiths?

Asked on his bandcamp page if he liked The Smiths, he replied that he preferred Les Dawson's version of Girlfriend In A Coma. And yes, I went over to the Tube of You to seek that out... d'oh.

Anyway, I think it's fair to say Wild Billy preferred The Kinks...

Celebrity Jukebox #89: Richard Lloyd... and Tommy Walsh!?

Earlier this week, the darkness doubled and the Cadillac pulled out of the graveyard as Television guitarist Richard Lloyd followed his bandmate Tom Verlaine into the afterlife.

 

I didn't think I'd find any lyrical tributes to Richard Lloyd, but then I remembered that The Damned wrote a song all about Television... it's not the most complimentary though, given that it was written after Verlaine and co. refused to let The Damned support them at a gig in the US...

Richard Lloyd you're here this night

You should have rode the golden stars

The Damned - Idiot Box

Still, immortality in song is worth celebrating whatever the antecedents. Which might explain why today's post also shines a light on this gentleman...

I will confess that I know very little about Tommy Walsh. He was a presenter on a well-known TV show I never watched and a bunch of lesser known TV shows I never watched either. He was a builder, but I'll try not to hold that against him. My brother was a builder, and ditto that.

Truth be told though that most of what I know about Tommy Walsh comes from Nigel Blackwell... 

Back-to-back Cadfael

Ross Kemp on Watership Down

Are we living in the last days?

My life coach died in a car crash

Plummeted his mother into hopeless despair

She hangs about the laurel walk

I never know what to say to her

Have you seen Tommy Walsh’s Eco House?

Did Tommy ever build an Eco House? I'm presuming he must have.

Namesakes #214: The Kingsmen

I've gone easy on the followers of this feature for the last few weeks. That stops now. The King has a lot of Men...

THE KING'S MEN #1

We start today in 1939 - although these guys from LA had already been doing their thing for a decade by the time this particular tune was recorded...

The King's Men - The Lamp Is Low

 

THE KINGSMEN #2

To Chicago next, where these Kingsmen got together while still in high school in 1954. A couple of years later, they recorded this...

The Kings Men - Kicking With My Stallion

THE KING'S MEN #3

Today's most famous King is BB... and here he is at the start of his career in 1954, with his short-lived backing band The King's Men.

BB "Blues Boy" King & The Kings Men - Sneakin' Around

THE KINGSMEN #4

New York City was home to these Kingsmen back in 1956...

The Kingsmen - Stranded Love (Broken Heart, Worried Mind)

THE KINGSMEN #5

To 1958 California next, with some Kingsmen led by Lord Luther

Lord Luther & The Kingsmen - (I Was A) Teenage Creature

THE KINGSMEN #6

Rockabilly Kingsmen from 1958 - actually helping a bloke called King.

Ray King & The Kingsmen - A Date At Eight

THE KINGSMEN #7

One year before their more famous Namesakes (below) were formed, Bill Haley's Comets (minus Buill himself) were calling themselves The Kingsmen, and enjoying a US Top 40 hit with the tune below...

The Kingsmen - Week End

THE KINGSMEN #8

I'll let Todd Snider do the entry for these guys...

The Kingsmen came together in a garage

They could hardly even play

But they practiced night and day

And pretty soon they got to where they could really play that song "Louie, Louie"

So, they saved up all the money from their shows

Went in to one of them studios

And gave their version of the song "Louie Louie" a try

Now, I don't know the words to that song "Louie, Louie"

I'm pretty sure the singer for the Kingsmen didn't know 'em either

If he did know 'em, he didn't get 'em right on the record

'Cause on the record they sound completely jumbled in his jaw

He says, "Me think of me girl oh so constantly

"Ahmayaaah makaaaah aahh ooohoooh aaaaah"

Well, that last part scared everybody from the PTA to the FBI

You see, the kids had been goin' kind of crazy lately

And it seemed like nobody could figure out why

So they decided to form a coalition

Launch an investigation

You know, for the children, they figured they at least had to try

To figure out the words to "Louie, Louie"

The Kingsmen - Louie Louie

THE KINGSMEN #9

Questionable use of punctuation from these Ohio Kingsmen, led by George Brady in 1961...

George Brady & The Kingsmen - Tell Me! Why?

THE KINGSMEN #10

Philly Kingsmen doing a short instrumental in 1961... I dig it.

The Kingsmen - Dig This

THE KINGSMEN #11

Over to Ohio in 1962 next, where a bloke called Fred is taking the Mick...

Fred Mick & The Kingsmen - Daddy-O Goose And The Three Piggies

THE KINGSMEN #12

Lots of Kingsmen around in the early 60s. Here's some more from Pennsylvania in 1962...

Pat Tolland and The Kingsmen - Here Comes An Angel

THE KINGSMEN #13

And here are some honky tonk Kingsmen, supporting an Ernie! 

Ernie Hagar & The Kingsmen - Space Walk

THE KINGSMEN #14

San Diego surf rock Kingsmen, monkeying about in 1963...

The Kingsmen - Monkey Walk

THE KINGSMEN #15

Gospel Kingsmen from North Carolina who appear to have been releasing records from the 1950s through to the present day. Either they have had an ever-changing line-up, or God has shined his light upon them. Here they are in 1976...

The Kingsmen - Just In Time

THE KINGSMEN #16

Stretching the rules for this one, but it's a good tune. These guys were all former members of James Brown's backing band until they'd had enough of him in 1970 and went off to do their own thing...

Maceo & All The King's Men - Got To Get'cha

THE KINGS MEN #17

Soulful Gospel Kings Men from Maryland in 1984...

The King's Men - It's Testifying Time

KINGS MEN #18

"Tribal house" from some New York dance dude, sampling stuff that he probably didn't pay for... although I could be completely wrong about that and don't want to cast any aspersions... in 1995.

Kings Men - Padre Nuestro

THE KING' S MEN #19

Choral scholars of King's College, Cambridge, singing the Beach Boys in a cathedral in 2014.

The King's Men - Get Around 

KINGSMEN #20

"Metalcore" Kingsmen from 2017. I have sent the leader singer a packet of lozenges.

Kingsmen - Until I've Departed

THE KINGSMEN #21

Also in 2017, these Kings Men were spending a lot of time Down At The Liquor Store, helping country singer Steve Azar.

Steve Azar & The Kingsmen - Wake Me From The Dead

THE KINGSMEN #22

New Zealand Kingsmen from 2020, helping a bloke called Chris - he's just a regular Joe.

The KIngsmen - Run And Hide

THE KINGSMEN #24

And finally - thank God and the King - some soulful Kingsmen hanging round the Camp of Bands just last year...

The Kingsmen - Love Don’t Walk Away

Which Kingsmen might actually be capable of putting Humpy back together again?

Snapshots Spillover: Back Down The Job Centre

Welcome back to the Snapshots Job Centre. Lots more exciting opportunities for you today, and you need to apply for at least 10 of them if you want to claim your benefits...

Ronnie Burns - Coalman

Sister Swire - My Sister Is A Butcher

The Seeds - The Gardener

Neal Dover - Mr. Bus Driver

Jonathan Richman - Ice Cream Man

Elbow - The Loneliness of a Tower Crane Driver

The Pretenders - Turf Accountant Daddy

Laura Viers - Chimney Sweeping Man

Modern Eon - Mechanic

Tracie - The Boy Hairdresser

Terry Hall - Ballad Of A Landlord

Frightened Rabbit & Manchester Orchestra - Architect

Ten Feet - Factory Worker

Wire - Outdoor Miner

We saved the best till last though. I'm sure this one will be swamped with applications...

Snapshots #473: The Snapshots Job Centre!

Now then, Job-Seekers! Let's see if we can get all you lazy, good-for-nothing layabouts into gainful employment, shall we?

Let's see what jobs are on offer today...

15. She could be a grandma janitor now.

"A grandma janitor" was an anagram. Not a job. Pilot, on the other hand... well, I hope you have plenty of qualifications...

Joan Armatrading - Drop The Pilot

14. Calamari.

Squid - The Cleaner

13. Confused icon.

Nico - Janitor Of Lunacy

12. Flying without Wings.

Paul McCartney - Temporary Secretary

11. Sharon, Tracey, Dorien.

I never watched the TV show Birds of a Feather, but I understand those were their names.

Birds Of A Feather - Blacksmith Blues

10. The worst eBay muddle ever.

"Worst eBay" was an anagram.

The Waterboys - Fisherman's Blues

9. What links Herman Melville to Shaun Ryder? 

Moby Dick meets Black Grape.

Moby Grape - Miller's Blues

8. These ladies are already queueing up to watch the new Avengers movie.

The Marvelettes - Please Mr. Postman

7. Not secured... or tight enough.

Loose Articles - Are You A Welder?

6. No one can hear them shooting.

The Silencers - Hey Mr. Bank Manager

5. Peck + Hayes & Asimov.

Gregory Isaacs - Night Nurse

4. Hugh Laurie meets and Jed Bartlett and Doyle.

Hugh played House. Jed Bartlett was played by Martin Sheen. Doyle by Martin Shaw.

Housemartins - Me And The Farmer

There's some great dancing in that video.

3. Get your brand new ecstasy tablets here! 

Fresh Es! Get your Fresh Es!

The Freshies - I'm in Love With the Girl on the Manchester Virgin Megastore Checkout Desk

2. Mark Everett is feeling down.

E is Sad.

Sade - Smooth Operator

1. Fry Greta. Refry. Simple enough instructions, if a little muddled.

Gerry Rafferty - Baker Street

If you think some of those were a bit obscure, you should see some of the ones I rejected. More employment opportunities later in the week...