Showing posts with label Bernard Cribbins. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bernard Cribbins. Show all posts

Sunday, 15 January 2023

Snapshots #275: Top Ten Songs With A Hole In Them

This is Courtney Love. Her band is called Hole.

Yesterday, I gave you a picture of Bernard Cribbins who sang Hole In The Ground. I figured that would be too easy as one of the songs, even though it is the greatest song ever recorded with a hole in it.

Here are ten more holes...


10. Moby's ways.

Moby sang about Extreme Ways.

Extreme - Hole Hearted

9. Abaaaaartment.

That would be where the baaaa lambs live.

Sheephouse - Hole In The Sky

8. How Bob Lind signs his name, in a Backstreets, on his way to the next whiskey bar.

Bob Lind (of Elusive Butterfly fame) would sign his name B.Lind. Add to that the Backstreet Boys and a line from Alabama Song and you get...

The Blind Boys of Alabama - Way Down In The Hole

7. Big Red Dog gets a Ruby.

Clifford is the Big Red Dog. A Ruby Murray is a Curry.

Clifford Curry - She Shot A Hole In My Soul

6. Rose Variety + Where Prince Met Robbers + Scottish January.

Stone Roses + Thieves In The Temple + Scottish band Pilot, who sang January.

Stone Temple Pilots - Trippin' On A Hole In A Paper Heart

5. Breeding ignorance and feeding radiation.

That's a line from Television (The Drug of the Nation) by The Disposable Heroes Of Hiphoprisy.

Television - Foxhole

4. Orange vision.

Tangerine Dream - The Burning Hole

3. Oxford detective from the block.

Lewis was the Oxford Detective, Jenny came from the block.

Jenny Lewis - Rabbit Hole

2. The trouble with nice source and strange Fitzgerald.

The Trouble With Harry. "Nice Source" is a literal translation of Bella Fonte. Strange Fitzgerald = Odd Etta. Except... as Ernie points out, that clue didn't work because I had somehow confused Ella Fitzgerald with Etta James. D'oh. Apologies, all.

Harry Belafonte & Odetta - A Hole in the Bucket

1. Often served with Jam.

That would be a Traffic Jam.

Let's not forget Neil's version of this!


There'll be a Hole load more Snapshots to solve next Saturday...

Friday, 29 July 2022

Celebrity Jukebox #15: Bernard Cribbins


"National Treasure" Bernard Cribbins left us earlier this week, aged 93. He deserves a place in the Celebrity Jukebox Hall of Fame.

From Jackanory to The Wombles, Bernard Cribbins was the voice of my childhood. Over the years, I've watched him save the world alongside Doctor Who, stand up to Basil Fawlty, and work with everyone from Alfred Hitchcock to Mark 'n' Lard. And let's not forget his contributions to the world of popular music, most notably this...


...which was obviously a favourite of Mick Jones & co.


And, of course, this... which gave its name to a popular beat combo who were far too sexy for their shirts.


You'll also find the influence of Right Said Fred popping up in the most unexpected places. Like here...

I've been trying to get people to call me Freddy Knuckles
People keep calling me Right Said Fred


And here...

He is in my head his chair's on bread
He is Right Said Fred and Brice Beckham at the same time


Now, admittedly, both those tracks are probably referencing the Deeply Dippy guys... but without Bernard, they wouldn't have been there to reference, would they?

But what of an actually lyrical mention? I had to dig that hole in the ground pretty deep, but I did eventually find one... and it's really quite lovely. A fitting tribute for a truly special celebrity.

Just a normal day
I hadn't made any plans
I was enjoying a walk in the sunshine when I saw a lovely old man
Who just happened to be Bernard Cribbins
And he beamed at me so wide
Then he gave me an ice cream that was sweeter than his smile
And it also contained the unspoken knowledge of the ancient ones



Sunday, 1 August 2021

Snapshots #200: A Top Twenty Songs Bands Were Named After

Don't worry if you Drew a blank yesterday, here are the answers to our special 200th Anniversary edition of Saturday Snapshots. All the song titles were taken (or adapted) as band names by other artists... 


20. Best not to drink.

Why would you drink muddy water?

Muddy Waters - Rollin' Stone

And here they are together...

Muddy Waters & The Rolling Stones - Mannish Boy

19. Icky tumble.

Anagram!

Tim Buckley - Starsailor

Starsailor - Poor Misguided Fool

18. Joyful quack.

Dr. Feelgood - Roxette

Roxette - Joyride

17. Dunce caps all round.

Simple Minds - Cocteau Twins

The Cocteau Twins - Carolyn's Fingers

16. Westlife chose not to use them.

Westlife went Flying Without Wings.

Wings - Jet

Jet - Are You Gonna Be My Girl?

15. Cinema soundtrack.

Roxy Music - Ladytron

Ladytron - Seventeen

14. He's only semi-sorry.

Anagram! (And also, pretty true.)

Morrissey - The Ordinary Boys

The Ordinary Boys - Week In Week Out

13. Tie + ie.

Bow (tie) + ie.

David Bowie - Kooks

The Kooks - She Moves In Her Own Way

12. Peculiarities.

The Kinks - Johnny Thunder

Johnny Thunders - You Can't Put Your Arms Round a Memory

11. Rodeo Channel.

Anagram!

Leonard Cohen - Sisters of Mercy

The Sisters of Mercy - This Corrosion

10. Robert, Patti, Elliott.

The Smiths - Shakespeare's Sister

Shakespear's Sister - You're History

Or...

The Smiths - Pretty Girls Make Graves

Pretty Girls Make Graves - This Is Our Emergency

Or even...

The Smiths - Panic

Panic! At The Disco: I Write Sins Not Tragedies

9. Hull jotter.

Anagram!

Jethro Tull - Aqualung

Aqualung - Brighter Than Sunshine

8. Purple bloodvessel.

Prince liked purple.

Buster Bloodvessel had Bad Manners.

Prince Buster - Madness

Madness - Madness

7. Made Idlewild laugh while they argued.

In When I Argue, I See Shapes, Idlewild sing that Syd Barrett laughs.

Syd Barrett - Gigolo Aunt

The Gigolo Aunts - Where I Find My Heaven

6. Hidden in the bedside table.

The Vibrators - Stiff Little Fingers

Stiff Little Fingers - Alternative Ulster

5. Copying answers from the rescue dog.

Copying answers is cribbing. The rescue dog is a St. Bernard.

Bernard Cribbins - Right Said Fred

Right Said Fred - I'm Too Sexy

4. Reagan's chimp turns God around, zippity. 


God turned around is Dog.

Zippity Doo Dah!

The Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band - Death Cab For Cutie

Death Cab for Cutie - I Will Follow You Into The Dark

3. Are you ready for your close-up?

A close-up on TV is the equivalent of a Talking Head.

Talking Heads - Radio Head

Radiohead - Karma Police

Or... and I didn't know this until this week...

Talking Heads - The Big Country

Big Country - In A Big Country

2. Three cards, bust at 25. 

Two Jacks on a five might make 25...

The Jackson 5 - ABC

ABC - The Look Of Love

1. Cold determination... or desperation?


Cold determination = steely.

Desperate Dan.



200 editions would be a good place to stop, wouldn't it?

Don't worry, I'm not done yet. More next Saturday...



Tuesday, 22 April 2014

My Top Ten Song Titles Bands Were Named After


Ten songs SO good... they named their bands after them. (And Victor Kiam bought the company.)



10. Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band - Death Cab For Cutie

Why Ben Gibbard's alt-indie-occasionally emo band from Washington DC decided to name themselves after a bizarre Elvis spoof by Neil Innes and Viv Stanshall's psych-comedy 60s band from that London is anybody's guess. The title itself seems strangely apt - tragic beauty filtered through an everyday lens being Gibbard's lyrical stock in trade. But  then you listen to the actual song... which couldn't sound more different to the band DCFC if it was played solely on a Hawaiian nose-flute.

9. Tim Buckley - Starsailor

If you imagine Jeff's dad as the blueprint for a bunch of heartfelt indie romanticists led by Warrington's angelically voiced James Walsh, it sounds like a pretty good fit. Starsailor the song, however, is possibly the weirdest thing Buckley Sr. ever recorded. It's pretty far out there - certainly further out there than anything the Starsailor lads themselves have turned their minds to.

They should have called themselves Mojo Pin.

8. Leonard Cohen - Sisters of Mercy

Ah, Lenny, what a storyteller.
When I left they were sleeping, I hope you run into them soon.
Don't turn on the lights, you can read their address by the moon.
And you won't make me jealous if I hear that they sweetened your night:
We weren't lovers like that and besides it would still be all right,
We weren't lovers like that and besides it would still be all right.
Alternatively, don't turn on the lights because Andrew Eldritch is one scary melon farmer.

7. Bernard Cribbins - Right Said Fred

All hail Saint Bernard of Cribbins: he's still too sexy for his shirt, even at 85 years young.

6. Wings - Jet

The band named after this song were little to get excited about, but as much as I like to rib good old Sir Thumbs Aloft, this is still one of his finest post-Beatles moments.

If you don't believe me, ask Alan Partridge. (That clip sadly not available on youtube.)

5. Queen - Radio Gaga
I'd sit alone and watch your light
My only friend through teenage nights
And everything I had to know
I heard it on my radio
This song could pretty much be the story of my youth... and probably explains why I'm sat here at all hours of the night, after a long day at work, writing this blog now.

I'm guessing Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta must have had a very similar adolescence...(!)

4. Talking Heads - Radio Head

Here's David Byrne inspiring Thom Yorke...
The sound of a brand new world
If only Thom's band could record a record as joyously upbeat as the one that gave them their name... but I guess, if they did, they wouldn't be Radiohead.

3. Steely Dan - Deacon Blues

There was a time when you could reliably predict an appearance by either Morrissey, Bruce, Jarvis or Billy on this blog at least once a week. You might soon add Fagen & Becker to that list.
Drink scotch whiskey all night long
And die behind the wheel
They got a name for the winners in the world
I want a name when I lose
They call Alabama 'The Crimson Tide'
Call me 'Deacon Blues'!
Only a band with real Dignity could do justice to a name like that!

Steely Dan, of course, were named after one of William Burroughs' dildos. One day, I'll compile a list of bands named after dodgy sexual euphemisms... step forward 10cc and The Lovin' Spoonful. (Or did I blow my load with those two?)

2. David Bowie - The Kooks

It's not that long since I last featured this early Bowie classic, in my Top Ten Songs About Becoming A Parent. (Coincidentally, it made Number 2 in that list also.) The Brighton boys who took this name for their band never quite lived up to its potential... but that was a pretty tall order, so good on them for giving it a go.

1. The Smiths - Shakespeare's Sister

Another of Mozzer's playfully exuberant suicide anthems, with a cheeky nose-thumb to Billy Bragg thrown in...
I thought that if you had
An acoustic guitar
Then it meant that you were
A Protest Singer
Oh, I can smile about it now
But at the time it was terrible!
All of which led to some inspired pop-goth wonderment from a former Bananarama and Mrs. Dave Stewart way back in the Dawn of Time that was the early 90s. Of course, they misspelled Shakespear, but Big Willy was never too fussy over spelling anyway.

There are probably more bands named after Smiths or Morrissey lyrics than any other songwriter. See also Gene (Jeane), Panic! At the Disco, Pretty Girls Make Graves, Girl In A Coma, The Ordinary Boys (shudder!)...




All those song titles gave birth to stars. There's another Ten somewhere about bands named after lyrics (not titles) but we'll save those for another day. In the meantime, which one makes you want to change your name?

Wednesday, 5 June 2013

My Top Ten DIY Songs


With a new baby on the way, there's a lot of decorating and DIY needed in our house. Sadly, I've never been particularly good with a hammer or a drill... but I can knock up a damn fine Top Ten.


10. James Taylor - Handy Man

This handyman can fix broken hearts twenty four hours a day.

9. The Beatles - Fixing A Hole

Anything to stop the rain from getting in!

8. Bernard Cribbins - Hole In The Ground / Right Said Fred

National Treasure.

Of course, you might argue that the workmen in both songs are experts rather than amateurs... but they're hardly professionals.

7. The Wonder Stuff - Change Every Light Bulb

Miles Hunt is a man after my own heart. Stick to the easy jobs, Miles. 

6. Nick Drake - Man In A Shed

Neil Young believed A Man Needs A Maid... but most blokes would be happy with a shed to hide in. Nick's shed, of course, was where he hid from the world. I doubt he had a large selection of power tools in there. 

5. Peter Gabriel - D.I.Y.

I can't believe that B&Q hasn't used this in an advertising campaign. Maybe they tried to and Pete refused permission. Good on him, if that's the case. 

4. Radiohead - Just
You do it to yourself, you do
And that's what really hurts
Is that you do it to yourself
Just you and no one else
You do it to yourself
You do it to yourself
No, Thom, that's not what I meant by DIY. 

3. Luxembourg - Sick of DIY
I've seldom been mistaken
For being good with my hands
So it's all so convenient
That you have your own wrench
And I know not to mention
Things that clearly I don't understand
David Shah wisely leaves the DIY to his other half. 

2. Bruce Springsteen - Jack Of All Trades

Bruce will mow your lawn, clean out your drain, mend your car, harvest your crops... he'll even shoot your bank manager, should you so desire it.

1. Billy Bragg - Handyman Blues

When Louise first heard me playing this track from Billy's new album, she said, "he's written that for you". Well, Billy's been writing songs for me most of my life... but this one goes out to men of a certain age everywhere... as represented in the new video by Kevin Eldon, Johnny Vegas, Stewart Lee, Phil Jupitus and various other men of a certain age who'll never be the man around the house their father was. 
Don't be expecting me to put up shelves
Or build the garden shed
But I can write a song that tells the world
How much I love you instead!




Which one makes you want to Do It Yourself?
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