Going back to last week's post about... well, getting annoyed with people who don't behave with the level of courtesy you expect... here's a story from way back in 2010, when I still used to attend gigs pretty regularly. This is taken word-for-word from my old blog, Sunset Over Slawit. I've edited the actual gig review out, suffice it to say that it was Badly Drawn Boy in Manchester. Not the best gig I've ever seen, though I full accept that my opinion was coloured rather by this experience...
...midway through BDB's act, I became distracted by the woman next to me who was having a long text conversation on her phone. I mean, a LONG text conversation - it went on for over two songs by the time I'd finally had enough. She had one of those phones that double as lighthouses when you switch them on and her texting was illuminating the whole row.Badly Drawn Boy can be a pretty grumpy chap himself, and I suppose he's getting on a bit now (well, he's 2 ½ years older than me), but I've had a devil of a time finding a grumpy old man song from him to play today. This was the most appropriate tune I could come up with under the circumstances...
Finally, I couldn't take it any more. I turned to her and, polite as I could manage, asked if she wouldn't mind switching her phone off as all I could see was the light.
"I was just sending a very important text to someone who's in hospital," she tried to explain. I shrugged - if it's that important, why not take it outside the auditorium rather than disturb everyone else and disrespect the performer? - but as she acquiesced and turned the phone off I said nothing more and carried on watching the show. As far as I was concerned, the matter was settled.
I've watched enough Curb Your Enthusiasm to know things are rarely that simple...
As BDB called for a fag-break, we took a moment to stretch our legs and use the loo. On returning to our seats, the woman with the phone decided to have her say.
"You were very rude to me," she said, "are you going to apologise?"
I explained that as far as I was concerned it was far more rude to spend ten minutes lighting up the whole venue with a phone...
"It wasn't ten minutes."
"It was over two songs!"
"It was two songs. And I explained that I had to send an important message to someone in hospital. And I apologised. But you were rude and you didn't apologise."
I began telling her I didn't see how I had anything to apologise for...
...which is when her son turned up.
"Is there a problem here?"
"There's no problem," I told him.
"I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR OPINION!" he shouted, pointing an aggressive finger in my face, at which point they both started on me.
So we left. It seemed the easiest option, rather than trying to argue my case. It was after 10 and Badly hadn't built up enough good will for me to want to stick around and put up with this abuse. I was furious...
...but afterwards, I started to wonder: was I in the wrong? As hostile as he'd acted, I couldn't really blame the son. He'd come back in to see what he thought was me having another go at his mum. He wasn't to know that it was her who'd started the exchange. If I saw someone having a go at my mum, I'd probably have been similarly incensed. But did this woman really deserve an apology? I'd restrained my original request to a polite "would you mind...?" rather than the "TURN THAT FLIPPING THING OFF!" I'd been feeling, and I'd made no more of it after she finished her texting. She may well have been worried about a relative in hospital - but not worried enough to cancel her evening out, or even to step outside the auditorium to send her messages. And I wasn't the only one getting annoyed by the light from her phone. But should I have said nothing? Or should I have dropped to my knees in supplication at the very mention of a sick relative? Is it just me? Do you think I was in the wrong?
