Hot 100 #38

38 Special are a Southern rock band formed by Donnie Van Zant, the younger brother of Lynyrd Skynyrd singer Ronnie.

As Martin identified in last week's comments, loads of songs make mention of the Smith & Wesson .38 Special, and though he chose not to mention them "in the spirit of gun control", that didn't stop the rest of you! I was metaphorically blown away by the following fully-loaded suggestions from...

Rigid Digit:

Lynyrd Skynyrd - Saturday Night Special

And as a man's reaching for his trousers

Shoots him full of 38 holes

Mark Knopfler - 38 Special

Lynchie:

Warren Zevon - I'll Sleep When I'm Dead

I've got a .38 special up on the shelf

I'll sleep when I'm dead

If I start acting stupid

I'll shoot myself

I'll sleep when I'm dead

George:

Robert Johnson - 32-30 Blues

She got a 38 special but I believe its much too light

I got a 32-20, got to make the camps alright

And Brian, who explains...

All roads lead back to Nick Lowe. Going with "Me and My .38" by Carlene Carter off of 'Blue Nun' from 1981. This one was co-written and produced by then husband Lowe. She's backed by Lowe's band at the time... Paul Carrack, Martin Belmont, James Eller and Bobby Irwin. Love this album. Tough broad. When she leaves the key under the mat, you better show up or you'll have a double date with her and her .38.

I wish I could find that somewhere online, Brian, because it sounds like a cracker. Sadly, the internet let me down. However, I'll see your Nick Lowe suggestion and raise you this...

Nick Lowe - Switchboard Susan

When I'm near you girl, I get an extension

And I don't mean Alexander Graham Bell's invention

Switchboard Susan, can we be friends?

After six, at weekends

Hey babe, your number's great

38-27-38

Oh you bring a smile to my dial

Oh you're great, operator's great

Sticking with the smut, here's C, who went all Gallic on us this week...

Charlotte Gainsbourg - Les Oxalis

Sa mère Marie-Camille

Repose à ses côtés

Elle survit à sa fille

Encore 38 années

I'm not putting that into google translate, but I bet it's mucky.

Back to Martin then, who clearly thinks he's identified a smart way of winning this game: just choose songs by my favourite artists. (Although Lynchie's still smarting that this tactic didn't work for him last week.)

Lloyd Cole and the Commotions - Her Last Fling

And now you're underweight

And overpaid

You will not be saved

And you're pushing 38

Billy Joel - Leningrad

I was born in 49 

A cold war kid in the McCarthy times

Stop 'em at the 38th parallel 

Blast those yellow reds to hell 

Cold war kids were hard to kill 

Under their desks in an air raid drill 

Haven't they heard we won the war 

What do they keep on fighting for?

Ooh... I tell you what, Martin, that came close. It really did.

Well, that almost takes care of your suggestions this week, so here's a few thrown up by my own hard-drive...

The Wonder Stuff - 38 Line Poem

Whiteout - Thirty Eight

ELO - 10538 Overture

(Yeah, I know that last one would get quickly disqualified if one of you suggested it, but it's still a belter if you like Jeff Lynne shamelessly ripping off the Beatles.)

And a couple of lyrical drops...

Johnny Cash - The Wreck of the Old '97

They give him his orders at Monroe, Virginia

Sayin', "Steve you're way behind time

This is not Thirty-Eight, but it's old Ninety-Seven

You must put her in Spencer on time"

Donald Fagen - Planet D'Rhonda

She’s from a small town somewhere upstate

I guess she’s somewhere between 19 and 38

She stays up all night – she drives too fast

I say easy baby- baby slow down

It’s never gonna happen

On Planet D’Rhonda

And finally, because I have no shame...

Bon Jovi - Social Disease

She's full of high grade octane

She could run the bullet train on 38 Double D's

Now you know for sure, she know the cure

To make a blind man see

But, I'm sure it comes with great relief that Douglas saved you all from having to listen to Jon Bon Jovi's boob-inspired lyrics this week by suggesting this cracking story song from his oft-requested Canadian heroes, The Tragically Hip. I have a weakness for story songs, particularly when they involve breaking out of prison.



37 next week. Any ideas?