My Top Ten Spy Songs

Last week, when Alyson revealed that she had 83 blog post ideas pending, I was forced to check my own drafts folder. I was ashamed to discover 345 posts waiting to be completed. Some of them are no more than a title and a couple of songs, others are drafts of posts I've already published (so they need deleting) and others I've been reluctant to tackle because I was finding it hard to narrow the list of songs down to just 10.

Well, I'm going to try and tackle a few of these over the summer, to see if I can cut my drafts down to a least... I dunno, 330? Let's start with ten songs about spies... with a special mention, of course, to the very first Billy Bragg album, Life's A Riot With Spy Vs. Spy, from which this is a superb way to kick off your recording career...



And now, onto the real spy songs. Be careful... they're watching you!


10. Coldplay - Spies

Oh no - he started with a Coldplay song! The horror.

Surely that first album's allowed though? Even in spy circles? 

9. T'Pau - Bridge of Spies

Quick, Rol, restore you cred after Coldplay!

Oh, forget it.

8. Jamo Thomas & His Party Brothers Orchestra - I Spy (For The FBI)

Phew! Cred saved. (Just.)

7. Was (Not Was) - Spy In The House Of Love

They didn't just walk dinosaurs, you know.

See also The Doors - The Spy (In The House Of Love)

And even Blue Öyster Cult - Spy In The House of Night.

6. King Creosote - Spystick

She's one of a dozen
Yet you've seen the state
Of the other eleven
So hold onto her
Stay focused
Don't let your eyes stray low
And watch her with interest
Keep the springtime at bay

5. Super Furry Animals - She's Got Spies

She's got spies and they're looking out for me
But it's not like the KGB, it's just a game we play
She's got hooks meant for catching fish at sea
And she's casting them out and about to catch me unaware

Some kind of kinky role play thing going on there.

4. Paul McCartney - Spies Like Us

Oh no! As if Coldplay wasn't bad enough... here's Macca taking the soundtrack dollar!

I loved this song back in 1985 though, even though I never really cared for the film.

3. Gene - Spy in the Clubs

That Martin Rossiter could be a bit creepy at times...

Honey are you listening?
I'll make you stay at home
Can't afford the risk
I want us to go on
As a sign of my love
I've a spy in the clubs
So I'll know if you go
I will know

...then again, he was probably just trying to keep his lady safe from this lot...

2. The Persuaders - Thigh Spy

You wouldn't get away with that nowadays, lads.

1. Pulp - I Spy

It has to be said that Pulp's ultimate Spying Song is Babies, in which Jarvis hides in the wardrobe of his mate's sister and spies on her until she discovers him. There are a couple more twists in that story.

But I Spy is pretty special too. And once again, only Jarvis Cocker could get away with lyrics like these...

And it's just like in the old days
I used to compose my own critical notices in my head
"The crowd gasp at Cocker's masterful control of the bicycle
Skilfully avoiding the dog turd next to the corner shop"

Imagining a blue plaque
Above the place I first ever touched a girl's chest

But hold on
You've got to wait for the best
You see, you should take me seriously

Very seriously indeed.

Cause I've been sleeping with your wife for the past sixteen weeks
Smoking your cigarettes
Drinking your brandy
Messing up the bed that you chose together

And in all that time I just wanted you to come home unexpectedly one afternoon
And catch us at it in the front room

You see I spy for a living
And I specialize in revenge
On taking the things I know will cause you pain
I can't help it
I was dragged up

My favorite parks are car parks
Grass is something you smoke
Birds are something you shag
Take your "Year in Provence" and shove it up your ass!

As mentioned earlier, I could easily have gone another ten of those. Which top secret tunes would you have included?