Guest Post Thursday #4: Lynchie's brief affair with Jerry Hall...

Guest Post Thursday continues! With just a little persuasion, Lynchie is back with the long promised Jerry Hall story. I think it's fair to say he's led a more interesting life than I have...

My brief affair with Jerry Hall...

Sometime in the Summer of 1982, I was driving home to Aberdeen after a holiday in Ireland with my then girlfriend. As we approached the city, she flipped the radio to the local pop channel, Northsound, and we heard someone raving about a huge queue at the city's Capitol Theatre - a former cinema also used for large pop/rock gigs.

The queue was for tickets to see the very first gig of the "Tattoo You" tour by the Rolling Stones.

Why Aberdeen? It turned out the very first gig had been due to be staged somewhere in Switzerland but the bloke in charge of ticket sales had disappeared to somewhere in South America with all the money.

So, the story was that Mick told the tour management to pick some place in Britain where they hadn't played in years and Aberdeen was chosen with the Capitol as the venue.

Your hero was gutted as the gig sold out within the hour. I'd been too young (13) to see The Stones play Aberdeen in May 1964 and now I'd miss them again, unless I could somehow wangle a ticket.

At this point I should add I was working as a reporter for Aberdeen's morning newspaper "The Press & Journal", but despite all my contacts, I couldn't get a ticket for the Stones show.

Late afternoon of May 26th, 1982, I was working on some news story, bemoaning the fact that I wasn't going to see the Stones when Eric Stephenson, the P&J News Editor, stood over my desk and said "Fancy some overtime, Graeme?" 

I presumed this meant I would be sent out to some godforsaken part of N-East Scotland to cover a poorly attended Community Council meeting or some such horror and grudgingly said: "Yeah, OK". when - with a flourish - Eric produced a large black strip of black felt emblazoned with a red tongue and the words "access all areas" or some such nonsense. It was a backstage pass for the Stones gig!

My heart soared! Finally, I was going to get to see one of my fave bands - for free.

Later that evening, it was agreed by the big boys of British meeja (mostly tabloid reporters from the Sun, Daily Mail, Daily Mirror and the rest all turned up for the first Stones gig of this tour) that I should be "pool reporter". This meant that I would be the only reporter to get backstage before the show to interview the band, as long as I shared the story with all the rest of the newspaper/radio/TV journalists in attendance.

(I'd love to know how you pulled that one off, Lynchie! - Rol.)

So it was that I ended up chatting with Mick and Keith and the occasional word from Charlie Watts about playing the Capitol for the 2nd time in almost 18 years and what should happen to the evil bastard who'd stolen the Swiss ticket money.

As we chatted, this tall blonde (in a full length silver sequinned dress slit to the thigh on one side to expose an extremely long leg) sidled up and said something to Mick. I was gobsmacked as I realised it was Jerry Hall. 

You have to remember this is Mrs Lynch's wee boy, already in awe at interviewing his rock'n roll heroes and now he's in the presence of one of the world's top models and occasional girlfriend of Bryan (Brylcreem Bri) Ferry and Michael Philip Jagger.

The next part of my story is a bit hazy, but basically it transpired that Jerry Hall wanted to sit down and me being the gallant gentleman I was, I grabbed a chair next to me and said "Here's a chair" or some such nonsense and offered it to Ms Hall. 

Just as she was in the act of simultaneously thanking me and starting to sit on said chair, I noticed there was a mess of crumbs on the seat and hastily brushed them away. I was doing a great job until Jerry Hall's bum connected with my hand.

It is at this point I should stress that what Jerry Hall's bum connected with was the BACK of my hand as I brushed away the crumbs I mentioned earlier.

Anyways, luckily for me, Jerry (we're on first name terms now, notice?!?!?) laughed it off saying I was a true gentleman, looking pointedly at Mick'n Keef and the rest while I stood there, red-faced and reduced to a gibbering mess. End of interview with what I'm sure was a knowing smile from Mr Jagger and a polite handshake and sweet smile from Jerry Hall. 

And that's the story of me and Jerry Hall's bum.

Oh yeah - the show was a blast. 

Thanks again, Lynchie. Got any more brushes with showbiz legends to tell? (It doesn't have to be their bottoms.) You're always welcome here!

I couldn't resist putting that particular video up to illustrate Lynchie's story. It was the biggest hit the Stones had around the time of Lynchie's story and it is my favourite Stones video. I may have said this before, but if you watch Mick in that video, you'll see where Joe Wicks got his best moves.

You'll be glad to know that we have one more guest contributor set to make his debut next Thursday... but I'll keep his identity secret till then. After that... remember: the door is always open.