There's a lot of talk at the moment about us "coming out" of lockdown, about "easing restrictions" and things getting back to "normal". But apart from all those idiots flocking to Brighton beach (other beaches full of idiots also apply), do any of you really feel like anything is "easing"?
There's still paranoia and mistrust in the face of strangers. Everyone still gives you a wide berth and apologises or look away in the other direction when you pass them (apart from the idiots who blithely carry on as always). Yes, I'm taking Sam to school, but it's not real school, and there's no after-school club so I still have to pick him up at 3. And most people are still working from home. We thought we'd all be back in college come the end of August, but that's looking less likely by the day... and the thought of working from home for much longer... well, they'll have me in a padded cell soon enough.
On Monday evening I stopped off at one of the bigger supermarkets, one I haven't been to since before lockdown started, once I used to take Sam to on Friday afternoons for his tea before I took him swimming. That brought it home to me: the time before vs. the time now.
I don't take Sam swimming on a Friday night anymore. We don't stop off at the Morrison's cafe for a crappy kids' meal and a decaf all-you-can-drink coffee. (After 3, I limit myself to decaf.) I don't take him to Little Strikers football practice on a Saturday morning and stop at the big Tesco for the papers before taking him to his grandad and grandma's for lunch. I can't remember the last time I was in a play centre... by the time they open again, he'll probably be too big for them. He'd have finished Little Strikers this summer anyway. We won't get to say goodbye and thank you to his coach who plays for the England under-19s team, who at the very last session was reduced to giving the kids an elbow bump rather than a high five.
I realise that many people have lost so much more of the past few months so this isn't a 'woe is me' post by any means. But the little things, the ordinary, everyday, every week things you took granted... sometimes you fool yourself into forgetting that they're all gone and they won't be back any time soon, no matter how much they tell us the restrictions are being "eased". Because that's all just smoke and mirrors, and nobody really know when or even if "normal" will be back. They just don't want us all going mad at the prospect of an indefinite hiatus...
Here's a song that always makes me feel a little better...
When I'm tired and thinking cold
I hide in my music, forget the day
And dream of a girl I used to know
I closed my eyes and she slipped away
She slipped away
It's more than a feeling
(More than a feeling)
When I hear that old song they used to play
This resonates, Rol, and I worry, not for me but for the lad, whose routine has been thrown out the window every bit as much as mine and Mrs New Amusements', who hasn't been able to see his friends in any way that doesn't involve a screen or a headset, who hasn't been able to visit his grandparents, whose only schooling has been, and continues to be, at home, using materials the school have set with best intentions but that has to be generic ...
ReplyDelete... I could go on, but I won't other than to say I like that song too.
I really feel for you, and Martin, and all others with young children especially (and those children), in all this weirdness. It's getting to me and I don't even have that specific extra dimension to my worry. I was saying to Mr SDS recently that the one word which sums up for me what we used to take for granted and what is now missing in life is that 'carefree'. Even a walk or the idea of a get-together with a friend is no longer carefree. I yearn for its return.
ReplyDeleteYes it’s starting to really hit home that the old normal may never return and although we hunkered down for many weeks and appreciated our walks, and nature, we are really starting to miss all the things we took for granted. I’m sorry that Sam and his friends are missing out on all their activities. Cross fingers they will return in the not too distant future although with all the easing going on, it seems a second wave is almost inevitable.
ReplyDeleteI booked a slot online this morning to go and see my mum at the care home this weekend - The same approved visitor is allowed one 30 minute slot per week, meet outside, wear a mask, have their temperature taken, stay 2m apart... It’s definitely not getting back to normal.
Ca I just say: Smells Like Teen Spirit nicked the riff. It's plain to see (hear?) but no-one ever admits it.
ReplyDeleteI'm not convinced by the easing either - and I'm trying not to think too deeply about Past vs Future - it would drive me batty. In true English style, I'm taking a deep breath and just getting on ("This too shall pass" - well, I've got to believe it).
But ...
I've got a big concern though. My Grand-daughter had her first Birthday a week into lockdown, plus her routine has been completely turned on it's head. I worry about her development. Fortunately my daughter is a Nursery Nurse and was able to return to work (with Miyah in tow) about 3 weeks ago.
I'm not sure the little one has quite got back into it yet, and is getting a bit agitated and stroppy (or "being a bit of a dick" as my daughter terms it). She said her first words the other week: "No!"