Tuesday, 17 November 2020

Name That Tune: Our Top Ten Emma Songs

 


Emma Pollock or Emma's Imagination for the picture please, said Charity Chic, who's doing pretty well at picking our pictured artist lately, even if he can't supply any relevant tunes.

Ms. Pollock was always the Emma at the forefront of my mind for this post. I've been a fan since the early days of The Delgados.

Emma Pollock - Paper & Glue

I have to admit to being unfamiliar with Emma's Imagination, but this is nice enough...

Emma's Imagination - This Day

The only other singing Emma in my collection is the actress Emma Caulfield, here duetting with Nicholas Brendon from the Buffy musical episode. I'm sure Alyson will appreciate this if nobody else.

Emma Caulfield & Nicholas Brendon - I'll Never Tell

Speaking of Alyson...

As for artists called Emma, why not go down the pure pop route and offer up Emma Bunton? Baby Spice!

Anyone but Victoria.

Emma Bunton - What Took You So Long?

There was a queue at the post office, Baby.


Onto the songs then... although this week had less entries than usual. When I began this feature, I figured the girl's names would trounce the boy's names in song suggestions, but that hasn't been the case for the past few weeks. Anyway, here's what you had for me, beyond those that made the Top Ten...


Martin kicks us off with these...

Imagine Dragons - Emma

Frank Zappa - Big Leg Emma (with (unintentionally?) comedic lyrics)

There's a big dilemma
About my Big Leg Emma
She was my steady date
Until she put on weight

He'd be done for body-shaming these days.

Dirty Vegas - Emma

Then Brian offered these...

Brendan Benson - Emma J

The Field Mice - Emma's House

(Both were in serious contention.)

Rigid Digit provided this...

Saxon - Song For Emma

...which was a bit too modern-Saxon. An older Saxon tune might have stood a chance.

Finally, you'll be pleased to know that my millennial hipster politico friend, Ben, was far too busy doing important things this week to devote much effort to the search, although he did offer the following, which he says reminds him of being 12...

Alkaline Trio - Emma

I was 31 when that record came out. It reminds him of being 12. Grrr...

(Actually, I think he's a year or two older than your Maths will reveal... but I ignore him whenever he tells me his exact age because it makes me ill.)

Meanwhile, scraped from my own hard-drive, but still worthy of consideration...

Little River Band - Emma

Sebadoh - Emma Get Wild

Freya - Airmail For Miss Emma

The Walkmen - Emma, Get Me A Lemon

Woodpigeon - Emma et Hampus

Dylan LeBlanc - Emma Hartley

And, from 1971, this curious tale of an Emma who...

...comes to see me
About 8 o'clock each night
And she throws her arms around me
And off we go in flight
Like an airplane
Moving up and down

Which, however sweetly sung, is a pretty terrible euphemism. 

However, one night Emma is late... and Jonathan has his tea at 8.30, so frankly, don't mess me about love. I'm not sure this song is meant to make me laugh so much.

Jonathan Edwards - Emma

Finally, a couple of choice lyrical cuts...

Father John Misty - Chateau Lobby #4 (in C for Two Virgins)

Emma eats bread and butter
Like a queen would have ostrich and cobra wine
We’ll have Satanic Christmas Eve
And play piano in the Chateau lobby

Arab Strap - Trippy (Caution: Foul Language Ahead... but then, it is Arab Strap.)

Emma phoned me at work at about half four
It was funny I didn't speak to her anyway
She's a fucking cow better than everybody
Kinda speaking to her mates anyway like that
Anyway we got into the time and she phones me up asked me what I'm doing tonight
I was only gonna sit in and watch the telly as usual wonder where everyone else was
So she says come round to Rab's house and that we got some trips in...

Charming as always.

From Rigid Digit...

Van Morrison - Caravan

Yeah the caravan is on its way
I can hear the merry gypsies play
Mama mama look at Emma Rose
She's playin with the radio
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la

If he'd worn a mask, I might have let him in the Top Ten.

And from Walter...

The Jam - Private Hell

Think of Emma wonder what she's doing
Her husband terry and your grandchildren
Think of Edward who's still at college
You send him letters which he doesn't acknowledge
cause he don't care
They don't care cause they're all going through their own private hell

Second week in a row for that one! But Mr. Weller does all right round these parts most of the time.

Kirsty MacCall - Walking Down Madison

Within every city and town there's a madison
Frozen lives for whom nothing's happening
Hungry children is a mother's dilemma
Dumpster diving to feed her baby Emma

That's a classic, though probably not enough of a lyrical nod compared to some of the ones that did make the final ten.

Cowboy Junkies - Hunted

Emma's in a part of town
Where she doesn't recognize the streets
Named for famous native sons
And out of every crevice comes creeping
A threat in her direction
Lucy's outside her home
Heading towards her corner store
She stays on well-traveled paths
And is always making sure
That she doesn't develop patterns

And finally, from me, this week's Half Man Half Biscuit tune...

Half Man Half Biscuit - Improv Workshop Mimeshow Gobshite

Big cheese down at the Tourist Information
Come forth with your queries
And I’ll wade out for miles
Never trust a crown green bowler under thirty
The future’s so dull I’ve gotta sing torch songs
Dropkick the improv workshop mimeshow gobshite
Facepaint Left Bank Kenneth Emma R-A-D-A Rainer Werner
Cokeheads cokeheads cokeheads


Which brings us nicely to the winners...


10. Dishwalla - Miss Emma Peel

A new one to me, suggested by Martin, but in the year that we said goodbye to Guy Garvey's mother-in-law, this seems an appropriate tribute.

9. Chumbawumba - When Alexander Met Emma

From Rigid Digit and Walter. Lovelier than you'd expect from Chumbawamba, plus it's from an album called A Singsong And A Scrap. What else do you need? 

8. Buffy Sainte Marie - Emma Lee

Women's ways 
You never know how they gonna do it, 
Women's ways 
There's really nothing to it 

7. Bon Iver - For Emma

Can I add one more, said Martin, because it's excellent. For Emma, forever ago.

Also, For Emma by Bon Iver, Alyson seconded, I only discovered them and the album of the same name when I started writing about the pesky virus in March. They had a song called Blindsided on that album which fitted the bill perfectly at the time.

Jury's still out here at Top Ten Towers on the whole Bon "I recorded this album in a cabin in the woods to get back to the roots" Iver experience, I'm afraid. Still, this was popular enough (on a quiet week) to make the chart.

6. Jens Lekman - Two Young Lovers

The botanical gardens are full of newlyweds
Emma pretends to vomit but Casper looks up and says
"I wouldn't mind if one day that was you and me"
Emma kisses his mouth and says, "Over my dead body"

Nobody writes 'em like Jens.

5. Hard Meat - The Ballad Of Marmalade Emma And Teddy Grimes

Thanks to Emma, says C, I can recycle my comment from last week with the disallowed Teddy!

"...There's a sweet song: 'The Ballad of Marmalade Emma and Teddy Grimes' by Hard Meat, and I can give you a little background to the story too..."

The rather ambiguous-sounding name Hard Meat suggests all sorts – perhaps the title of an Andy Warhol film or a Scandinavian porn mag, maybe even the name of a militant anti-vegetarian group…so you may be relieved to know that the Hard Meat I’m referring to here is a 60s/70s band from Birmingham.  Even then one might expect them to be Black Sabbath soundalikes, complete with controversial lyrics and dubious imagery - however, they had a far softer and more psychedelic/folk/acid rock sound and one does wonder why they chose such a name.

Their first single was a cover of the Beatles’ Rain’ (b/w ‘Burning Up Years’ which was covered by NZ band Human Instinct - many thanks to the reader who corrected the info stated on here earlier) released in 1969 on Island, and they went on to make two albums for Warner Brothers, ‘Hard Meat’ and ‘Through A Window’.

It is the last track on ‘Through A Window’ entitled ‘The Ballad of Marmalade Emma and Teddy Grimes’ (also released as a single in 1970), which has been on continuous play in my mind this week.  I just love its uplifting feel, and an overall sound reminiscent of Traffic and early Faces.  I was also intrigued by its subject matter because Marmalade Emma and Teddy Grimes were real characters who, through the late 1800s/early 1900s, resided in the historic town of Colchester, which is just a few miles from where I live.

It’s assumed that Hard Meat were spending some time in the Essex countryside when they heard talk of these legendary local characters in a pub and were so struck by the stories that they decided to write a song about them. 

Marmalade Emma and Teddy Grimes, pictured below in 1910, lived as eccentric tramps and roamed the streets of Colchester begging and blagging all that they needed to live on, drinking beer slops from the local pubs, sleeping in ditches and hedges, and probably managing to get by very adequately on very little.  The local community tolerated them in spite of some controversy and brushes with the law – on the 1891 Census Emma registered her occupation as ‘prostitute’, the only one on the list, and was also sent to prison briefly for swearing at a policeman.  Story has it that on her return from the clink some local lads asked her where she’d been, to which she replied, “to college”.

Read the rest, and see Marmalade Emma and Teddy Grimes for yourself, here.

Thanks, C!

4. Kate Bush - Don't Push Your Foot on the Heartbrake

Top work, Martin.

Emma's come down.
She's stopped the light
Shining out of her eyes.

Emma's been run out on.
She's breaking down
In so many places,
Stuck in low gear
Because of her fears

3. Belle & Sebastian - This Is Just A Modern Rock Song

Emma tried to run away,
I followed her across the city,
She went out to the Easter house,
Because she liked the sound of it.

She didn't have a single penny,
She stuck a finger in the air,
She tried to flag down an airplane,
I suppose she needs a holiday.

I put my arm around her waist,
She put me on the ground with Judo,
She didn't recognize my face,
She wasn't even looking.

2. Beulah - Emma Blowgun's Last Stand

Blimey, it's a long time since I heard the name Beulah, Brian. Didn't know this one, but it wins the prize for Best New Song You Guys Have Introduced Me To This Week. Especially when the trumpet kicks in at the 2 1/2 minute mark.

You flirt, you drink, you can't stop your winking at the boys at the bar
All you need is a gun and a car
A country song if you don't have a heart

1. Hot Chocolate - Emma

Back when pop/soul (what they'd call r 'n' b these days) had proper guitar solos in it!

Suggested by Martin, Lynchie and Alyson, who adds...

They were so consistent over a period of about 15 years yet I never hear of them much nowadays - anyway, a beautiful yet really sad song.

Thank you also to Martin for reminding me of the Sisters of Mercy cover...

The Sisters of Mercy - Emma

And here, thanks to Rigid Digit, is the Urge Overkill version...

Urge Overkill - Emmaline

Anyway, Alyson's right. Errol's band deserve a little more recognition. They made some great tunes, and this is one of their best...



NEXT WEEK: OUR TOP TEN FREDERICK / 
FRED / FREDDIE SONGS



25 comments:

  1. I'll try and beat everyone to the most obvious Fred, that is of course the blind Fred Lowery. I own his masterpice Fred Lowery whistles your gospel favourites. I played this to a clas whilst they were doing a test; some had the nerve to complain it was putting them off.

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  2. Half Man Half Biscuit - Fuckin' 'Ell, It's Fred Titmus

    Curtis Mayfield - Freddie's Dead

    Bernard Cribbins - Right Said Fred

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  3. Rodney Carrington - The Fred Song (a very silly country & western song)

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  4. Curtis Mayfield - Freddie's Dead
    He's no Fred Lowry

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  5. Mississippi Fred McDowell - an old bluesman who recorded "Baby Please Don't Go" (a hit for Them featuring Van Morrison on vocals) and "You Gotta Move" which The Rolling Stones covered and many more.

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  6. Not too many spring to mind, but will try these:

    James - Just Like Fred Astaire

    And the undoubted #1:

    Bernard Cribbins - Right Said Fred

    Lyrically?

    Madness - On the Beat Pete ("Hello Fred, you look half dead...")

    Mika - Grace Kelly ("I try to be like Grace Kelly but all her looks were too sad, so I tried a little Freddie - I've gone identity mad!")

    The Rolling Stones - Dance Little Sister ("She stepping high on Frederick Street")

    The Clash - Magnificent Seven

    Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels
    Came to the checkout at the 7-11
    Marx was skint, but he had sense
    Engels lent him the necessary pence.

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    Replies
    1. Although I accept I may be stretching that, with the Friedrich/Frederick.

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  7. Three song suggestions:

    Kenny Rice with Leo's Five - Frederick's Dream.
    Brian Auger - Freddie's Flight.
    Brigadier Jerry - Fred Locks a Dreadlocks.

    And lyrically, it's over to Mr Dylan with this marvellous couplet from Po' Boy:

    'Knockin’ on the door, I say, 'Who is it and where're you from?',
    Man says, 'Freddy!' I say, 'Freddy who?' He says, 'Freddy or not here I come'...'

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  8. My first love was Fred Astaire and I watched his films in rapture as a child. He didn't have a particularly strong voice but he had real screen presence and what with the dancing as well, he was one of the first real movie 'Stars'. So many songs to choose from but Cheek To Check is probably one we most closely associate with him, from back in the days when 'making love' was whispering sweet nothings in a girl's ear, spinning her around the dance floor and singing a pretty song. Reality would have been different of course but as a child I was more than happy with the illusion RKO peddled.

    Patti Smith was married to Fred (Sonic) Smith and she wrote a beautiful song called Frederick

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  9. I will also go the Fred Astaire route, but mine is by the fabulous but somewhat obscure Apple Moths.

    The Apple Moths - Fred Astaire
    Fishbone - Freddie's Dead (no Curtis Mayfield but a respectable try)
    Shannon Shaw - Freddie's 'N' Teddies (from my favorite album of 2018)

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  10. Glad you like the Marmalade Emma tale, Rol!

    As for this one... will you allow a variant spelling so that I can offer you 'Fredereek Hernando' by One In A Million. One from my much-loved '60s psychedelia archives...(I'm sure The Swede will approve of this one too). The band were from Glasgow and included Jimmy McCulloch pre-Wings. It's a belter.

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    Replies
    1. I loved the story about Marmalade and Teddy too - It was like a whole guest post. Can you believe you wrote about them originally 9 years ago!

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    2. I was shocked when I saw the date too!

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    3. ... and thanks! Glad you enjoyed the little historical snippet too.

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  11. Most of the songs were named except The Hollies and Charlie and Fred and Curtis Mayfield - Freddie's Dead; so here some suggestions with Fred in the lyrics:

    Kings of Leon - Joe's Head
    This is just the way of the world Joe said
    I had to put a bullet into his head
    And then lit up a cigarette
    Decided to call his fat friend Fred
    Well he said Fred I just killed a man
    Caught him laying with my girlfriend
    Now they're both dead, people can be so cold when they're dead

    Madness - On the Beat Pete:
    Hello Fred you look half dead
    Are you coming are you going
    I could never do a double shift
    Hello Fred get some bed Fred

    The B-52's - (Meet) The Flintstones:
    Let's ride with the family down the street
    Through the courtesy of Fred's two feet

    Frank Zappa - Bobby Brown:
    I tell you, people, I was not ready
    When I fucked this dyke by the name of Freddie


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  12. I have a few Fred's i can add.

    OK Fred - Errol Dunkly (Now you're a yaga yaga, never did find out what a yaga yaga was).

    Fred Vom Jupiter - Die Doraus und Die Marinas (The coolest most kitch video and tv appearance ever on Youtube) and a great little song.

    A few artists also:
    Fred Wedlock - Oldest Swinger in Town
    John Fred and the Playboy Band - Judy in Disguise (Might come up again if you do Judy later)
    Freddie & The Dreamers - You Were Made For Me.
    Fred Walking-Stick - Well I Ask Yew



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  13. Ben Folds - Fred Jones Part 2

    Frank Zappa- Bobby Brown Goes Down
    "Women's liberation
    Came creepin' all across the nation
    I tell you, people, I was not ready
    When I f***ed this dyke by the name of Freddie"

    Frank Zappa - subtle as ever

    B52s - Wig
    Sally's gotta wig
    Ricky's gotta wig
    Baby's gotta wig
    Kate's gotta wig
    Fred's gotta cheap toupee
    Keith's gotta big bouffant on
    We all got wigs
    So Let's go

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  14. Replies
    1. Freddy Fender also a contender for artist of the week

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  15. Actually, Now that you mention it, there are a few songs from the B-52’s with Fred in the lyrics. My favorite would be Song for a Future Generation.

    Hey, I'm Fred the Cancerian from New Jersey
    I like collecting records and exploring the cave of the unknown!

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  16. Madness - Drip Fed Fred
    One of the last songs to feature Ian Dury

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  17. Forgot to say, yes, really appreciate the Buffy Musical inclusion. Must share something from it over at my place soon. The whole cast (bar Willow who seemed to struggle) did so well, especially Emma Caulfield.

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  18. Realizing that it almost certainly falls afoul of your "Song For Whoever" rule, I nonetheless propose the Beloved's "Hello" as a worthy song for consideration, on the basis of the delightful lyric wherein cultural icons "Freddie Flintstone" and Fred Astaire" are lovingly juxtaposed. UK Footie fans may further appreciate the subsequent rhyme with Vince Hillaire. And yes, I am aware of the great internet brouhaha raised about the fact that the paterfamilias of the Stone Age cartoon family was never known as anything other than Fred, but I stand for poetic and metrical license anywhere and everywhere it is invoked.

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