Conversations With Ben #28: The Blind & The Bald

Rol: Since getting my glasses, I've found reading much easier. I know that sounds really obvious, but whenever I've sat down to read anything over the past few years, I've ended up really tired after a chapter and ready to quit. Clearly I've been straining my eyes for a long time.

Ben: Have you tried looking at a tree yet? That was what was most notable. Its like the branches as leaves had become HD.

They're reading glasses. My long sight is fine. But I presume you mean close up.

Still, did everything suddenly seem much clearer? Like more than you were expecting? That's what surprised me.

Only things that are a reading arm's length from my face. Everything else is as blurry  with the glasses on. Which is probably for the best.

I saw that he visited Ukraine yesterday.

Why on earth...? Haven't they suffered enough?

Maybe Putin sent him. Sleeper soldier.

Putin strikes me as more of a Simple Minds man.

Don't nuke forget about me?

Jim Kerr. In Spain, they call him Juan.

I thought that was John?

Think about it...

I used to work with a Jim Kerr. He was a Glaswegian with a big scar on his face.

My wit is wasted on you.

Wit?

New Jamie T song is great.

Yeah, it's not bad.

Statham in the MCU?

No.

Just no.

He's been cast.

It's not me speculating.

I'm just speculating who he's been cast as.

Dr Doom.

"I fackin hate you, Reed Richards!"

That's Danny Dyer.

Oi, Reed. You slaaaaag.

Yer doin me fakkin nut in.

He's too busy doing quiz shows.

I think his Wall show is quite funny. Me and Mrs. Ben have created this narrative that he thinks the wall is alive and is his enemy.

I wish he'd get buried under it.

I think it's filmed somewhere in Europe so there'd be a lot of red tape to enable that.

You have to spoil all my plans.

Blame BoJo, not me. We'd still be able to do it if we were in the EU.

If Cameron had mentioned burying Danny Dyer under a wall, the Brexit vote would have gone the other way.

Looks like we need to get Red Wedge back together to help us.

Whatever happened to Ken Livingston?

This is something I can get behind.

"Commenting on a man’s baldness in the workplace is equivalent to remarking on the size of a woman’s breasts."

All those ladies staring at my scalp.

Would you be less upset by the “Anglo-Saxon” language than the comment on your appearance?

Yes. I am a Celt.

I've been saying that for years.

Goes back to when the Romans invaded. It was the Celts who went, "yep. We have no allegiance to these deities, gimme day Jesus."

Sorry. Just put my glasses on. I misread what you said above.