Celebrity Jukebox #14: Joan Fontaine & Olivia de Havilland

Another of George's challenges today. "What about Joan Fontaine (or her equally famous sister)?" 

Well, Joan I had an answer for immediately. Olivia, on the other hand, took some digging.

First, a little background. 

By all accounts, Joan Fontaine and Olivia de Havilland hated each other. Olivia was only 15 months older than Joan, but their feud started in childhood and only ended when they were both dead. Joan died in 2013, aged 96, but Olivia had the last laugh, reaching the grand age of 104 before dying in 2020. It's amazing they both lasted that long, since Joan allegedly fantasised of killing her sister when she was 9, and later broke Olivia's collarbone in a scrap. When they were both nominated for the Best Actress Oscar in 1942 and Joan won, she was convinced her sister would finish her off. 

Who wins the musical tribute contest though?

Well, I did find a contemporary musical artiste called De Havilland, though I can't find out anything about them, including whether they took their name from Olivia or not.

De Havilland - The Disease

Meanwhile, the only lyrical mention I uncovered for Olivia was this rather charming number from Norwegian rock band Major Parkinson...

Seven o'clock the sun is up

And like a bullet in a china shop

In these anachronistic hours of today

The belly of the moon is grey

Now there's nobody here but Fred Astaire

Frank Sinatra, Doris Day

Oh Olivia de Havilland my bride

I'll keep you by my side...

So how does Joan fair in comparison?

Well, you could argue that The Fabulous Fontaines, Richmond Fontaine and Fontaines DC all keep the Fontaine flag flying, but I'm not sure any of them were thinking of Joan when they chose their name.

What about lyrical mentions then?

Well, Flagpole Sittas Harvey Danger don't exactly put her in the best of company...

Once I had a sweetheart;

She kind of looked like Joan Fontaine

She made mediocre art

But had a fascinating brain

Harvey Danger - I Missed It

While Paul's lad has a nicer comparison to make...

She's got the style of Paulette Goddard

And the smile of Joan Fontaine

And she drives a Karmann Ghia

Through the streets of Silver Lake

Harper Simon - Berkeley Girl

But it's neither of these that make Joan the winner. Oh no... it's this little beauty, from another of George's favourites, The Boss. Admittedly, it's from his debut album, before he developed his own lyrical voice and was more into aping Mr. Dylan, but still. We love it anyway.

Hey bus driver, keep the change

Bless your children, give them names

Don't trust men who walk with canes

Drink this and you'll grow wings on your feet

Broadway Mary, Joan Fontaine

Advertiser on a downtown train

Oh, Christmas crier bustin' cane

He's in love again