We've had her under surveillance since the beginning of the 20th Century. She's implicated in all manner of crimes, including being the best-selling fiction-writer of all time, writing over 80 books, and being responsible for the world's longest running stage play. But what evidence could we find to help convict her?
Let's look at the witness statements, starting with a Knight of the Realm...
Oh, in her two pound coat
She really thinks she's cloaked in mystery
She's actin' like some character from Agatha Christie
I got a pain in my shoes and all I wanna do is dance
Ah, so it appears we can rhyme Christie with Mystery. Can any other witnesses back that up?
It's not a mystery, Agatha Christie
And there's more where he came from...
I never wanted to be
A man of mystery
My life's an open book
by James Joyce and Agatha Christie
Jimmy Buffet - If It All Falls Down
Not sure that particular beach bum is a trusty source. Here's someone a little more trustworthy...
In my parallel life I could solve this mystery
Like Agatha Christie I'd have a clue
Alice Peacock - Parallel Life
Now who let this bunch of reprobates into the court room?
We can stand naked on the corner of Main Street, baby, and
Let everybody slow down and take a look
You can drive your Cadillac to the library, baby, and maybe read the
Last ten pages of an Agatha Christie book
You can feed my cat to my dog
And turn around and feed my dog to my horse
You can screw the whole damn royal family, baby, until they
All get a divorce
The Dead Milkmen - The Blues Song
Clearly there are a lot of questions surrounding our suspect today. For example...
Life and Agatha Christie in a Trailway back from New Orleans Malcolm Holcombe - Who Carried You?
And more importantly...
The CIA? Glaxo Babies - Who Killed Bruce Lee?
In truth, they're queuing up to testify in this case, for both the defence and the prosecution...
Steve Hackett - Carry On Up The Vicarage (A Musical Tribute To Agatha Christie)
The Devil - Agatha Christie
(Proof, if proof be needed, that he doesn't have all the best tunes.)
Negative Nancies - Agatha Christie
The Deep Freeze Mice - Reading An Agatha Christie
...although I'm not sure I'd trust any of that lot.
Thank heavens then for a reliable witness in the shape of our old friends, The Lucksmiths...
I love her but she loves Agatha Christie
And she's so wrapped up in the English Murder Mystery
I was nowhere near the scene of the crime
I was nowhere around at the time
Someone dropped arsenic in Mr Robinson's wine
Getting angry doesn't suit her
Says her English Literature tutor
VIDEO
Case closed.
Is she any relation to David Christie of 'Saddle Up' fame?
ReplyDeleteShe's his nan.
Delete