TV On The Radio #18: The Hitman & Her

Remember when there were only four TV channels to choose from and you had to watch whatever was on at the time (unless you had a video recorder in your bedroom, and really, who lived in a house with more than one video recorder?). 

I was a teenager in the late 80s, and a bit of a night owl. I would often stay up late on a Saturday, watching old Universal horror movies or whichever Psycho sequel ITV were showing that week, but there came a point when most of the other channels closed down for the night and I was still awake... so the only option left was The Hitman & Her.

I know a lot of my contemporaries would watch this show after returning home from a night clubbing, and in that regard it was the perfect thing to broadcast at 2 o'clock in the morning. But for anyone who hated clubbing, despised Pete Waterman (in my head, he belongs in the same category as Peter Stringfellow and half the Radio One DJs who were investigated by Yewtree) and found dance music said nothing to them about their lives... well, it really was time to go to bed. In fact, the only redeeming factor to the show was Michaela Strachan... although every week, I did find myself asking what the hell she was doing there? I hope she was well paid.

Scouting For Girls - Michaela Strachan

Here's some Laurie Shaw, who has featured here before. Always worth a listen...

And then you wanted to get wild
Michaela Strachan style
But I think your dad gets his ideas
From “Plain Facts For Old and Young” 

Laurie Shaw - Rollover

(You'll be glad to know - well, I was, anyway - that I couldn't find any songs that mentioned Pete Waterman by name.)

"Why the hell are you writing about a TV show you despised?", you may well ask. Blame my good blogging friend SWC / Barry Stubbs (other pseudonyms have probably been used) over at No Badger Required, who reminded me back in June that the track at the end of this post features, "possibly the best song to ever mention naff 90s late night telly series ‘The Hitman and Her’." (You've no idea how glad I was that he considered it naff too.)

To be honest, I thought / hoped that the track in question would surely be the only one to mention this dreadful two hours of TV (which ran for a mind-flaying 4 and a bit years). Then I discovered this song about coming home late from the pub and still thinking you need more alcohol...

My fridge is full, it's tinnies heaven
Grab a four pack and a few tins more
On with the telly, slump on the floor
The Hitman & Her, I thankfully missed
Who gives a sod? I'm totally pissed

Lawnmower Deth - Tinnies Heaven

Overall, it seems no one has a good word to say for The Hitman & Her. (Unless you know different...)

I don't know what you think of this country
But I think that it's going to be bad
Happy shopper ecstasy, Bingo with Jesus
The Hitman & Her - Christ! I feel as though I'm going mad!

I should point out that there are 78 complete episodes of The Hitman & Her available to watch on youtube. Your. Life. Is. Too. Short.