Title Fight #1

Last week I was in a charity shop and I bought a CD by a band I'd never heard of, purely on the strength of the song titles. When I got it home, it wasn't really my thing at all (I never understand why certain rock/metal starts feel the need to "sing" in that scary throat-wrecking shouty-howl, ruining what might otherwise be a perfectly good song). 

Underoath - I've Got Ten Friends And A Crowbar That Says You Ain't Gonna Do Jack

I realised I do this a lot. A good song title will often persuade me to sample music I might otherwise never have given the time of day. Sometimes that pays off, other times it doesn't. There are certain artists out there who write far better song titles than they do songs. (I'm looking at you, Fall Out Boy!)

Fall Out Boy - Our Lawyer Made Us Change The Name Of This Song So We Wouldn't Get Sued

This all gave me an idea for a new feature in which I delve through the deepest recesses of the hard drive in search of songs with great titles. Will they live up to their name? You can decide. Each week, I'll ask you to tell me your favourite title and your favourite track. It'll be interesting to see if they're the same song.

For your consideration today...

1. Neil Diamond - You're So Sweet, Horseflies Keep Hangin' Round Your Face

Let's start with that old charmer Neil. Well known for his successful chat up lines, like "Good times never seemed so good", "You make me sing like a guitar hummin'" and "Honey's sweet,

But it ain't nothin' next to baby's treat"... but I'm guessing this one just earned him a slap in the mush. Still - great title!

2. Bog Shed - Fat Lad Exam Failure

Another of those C86 bands I've given a bit more time to having read Nige Tassel's excellent book, Whatever Happened to the C86 Kids?: An Indie Odyssey. Bog Shed were from Heptonstall, near Hebden Bridge. I have been to Hepstonstall: it's a lovely place, but clearly one that's stuck in another century. If you were lucky enough to catch the Shane Meadows' TV series The Gallows Pole, it was filmed in Heptonstall. I doubt they had to do much to make it look like the 18th Century.

Fat Lad Exam Failure is what you'd call an acquired taste, but it makes me smile every time I hear it.

3. The United States Of America - I Won't Leave My Wooden Wife For You, Sugar

Psychedelic bands offer endless possibilities for this feature, because so many of their songs were written under the influence of mindbending substances. The United States of America were founded in 1967 (1776, my arse!) by Joseph Byrd and Dorothy Mosowitz. And if you're wondering why she won't leave her wooden wife for you, it's because she's got "a split level house with a wonderful view, three sweet kids and Yorkshire terrier, too,". What else could a girl want?

4. Coach Party - What's The Point In Life?

Bang up to date for our final offering today. Coach Party are from the Isle Of Wight, and their guitarist is called Joe Perry. No, not the one from Aerosmith. (I feel a Namesakes coming on.) They'd already impressed me in the title stakes with their 2021 single Everybody Hates Me, but this is the opening track to their new album, KILLJOY (their capitals, not mine). If you went by the lyrics, the full title would be What's The Point In Life If We All Die? They lose a point for shortening it.

Let me know which is your favourite title today - and whether it matches your favourite song.

Also, if you'd like to suggest any memorable song titles for future editions - have at it!