Title Fight #13: Pun-ishment

I do like a good pun in a pop song. Elvis Costello used to be the king...

You may not be an old-fashioned girl
You're still gonna get dated

Elvis Costello - Girls Talk

There's a shorthand typist taking seconds over minutes

Elvis Costello - Green Shirt

You lack lust... you're so lacklustre.

Elvis Costello - Possession

And Billy has had his moments too...

You're a dedicated swallower of fascism...

Billy Bragg - Accident Waiting To Happen

However, getting a good pun into a song title is much trickier than hiding one in the lyrics of your song. Rock music is full of dreadful puns - much as I might try to defend the reputation of REO Speedwagon, there's no excuse for their 1978 album title, You Can Tune A Piano But You Can't Tuna Fish.

Although it does contain one of their better songs...

REO Speedwagon - Time For Me To Fly

And the less said about Melon Collie and the Infinite Sadness, the better...

Smashing Pumpkins - Mellon Collie And The Infinite Sadness

Meanwhile, I've seen it suggested online that the song Bruise Pristine by Placebo is a pun on Bruce Springsteen. Not a very good pun, if that's actually true.

Placebo - Bruise Pristine

Of course, Nigel Blackwell knows his way around a pun...

Half Man Half Biscuit - Dickie Davies Eyes

Half Man Half Biscuit - Excavating Rita

Half Man Half Biscuit - Tess of the Dormobiles

However, there is one song title that beats all challengers when it comes to the title of Greatest Pun Ever... and I'm not talking about this...

Randy Hanzlick, MD (Dr. Rock) - I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me (Than A Frontal Lobotomy)

No, I'm talking about this forgotten classic from Johnny Cash's former backing group, The Statler Brothers. The great thing about this song is that when you hear the title - You Can't Have Your Kate and Edith, Too - you figure there's no way the song is ever going to live up to it. And then it does, with a hilariously touching tale of two-timing and jealousy and the mildest curses you'll ever hear, considering what this guy is putting up with. If I were him, I'd be using words a lot stronger than "you rascal, you!".