Namesakes #6: Oasis

Another unanimous victory last week, with 70s Romeos Mr. Big trouncing the 90s big hair lot. This week, I will try my best to remain unbiased... but it's going to be hard.  

What is an Oasis?

Various dictionaries define the word thus…

1. a fertile or green area in an arid region (such as a desert… but not Manchester, where it rains all the time)

2. something that provides refuge, relief, or pleasant contrast (pleasant contrast from what? Blackboard fingernails? Root canal?) 

3. a type of rigid foam into which the stems of flowers can be secured in flower arranging (Don’t tempt me.)

 There are only two bands that I will go out of my way to avoid featuring on My Top Ten. One is that Irish band, for obvious reasons. The other is Oasis: everything that was wrong with Britpop.

Don’t get me wrong. I loved Britpop. That era in the mid-late 90s was my gig-going heyday and I have many happy memories of all the bands I saw live during that time. And then there was Oasis, whom I also saw live, and still bear the scars. The scars of boredom. The scars of watching an hour and a half of leaden lad-rock performed by a knuckle-dragging, monobrowed troglodyte with a nasal monodrone  and his dullard brother, a man who’d listened to every Beatles record but failed to understand any of them, interpreting their appeal as meaningless gibberish nailed to unimaginative tunes and boorish swagger. The most exciting thing about the whole set was the fact that this bunch of Manc Muppets came on-stage through a huge, wonky red telephone box, recreating that early Doctor Who episode wherein cavemen take over the TARDIS. That, and the fact that the support band blew them off the stage. And the support band was Travis, for Bonehead’s sake!

Still, in the interests of equal opportunities, and until I find a bunch of alternative bands that have used the name U2, let’s grasp the nettle, shall we? 

OASIS #1

Psychedelic folk-rockers from Marin County, San Francisco, favoured by David Crosby, managed by David Geffen and signed by Atlantic president Ahmet Ertegun. All seemed to be on track for success until their debut album was shelved due to “management malfunction”, never to be released. Two members of the group then formed a spin-off band with the same name, releasing one self-titled album in 1973… which then sank without a trace. They also recorded under the name RJ Fox, but nothing came of that either. Some Might Say they gave it their best shot. Whatever.

OASIS #2

Peter Skellern, Julian Lloyd Webber, Mitch Dalton, Bill Lovelady and Mary Hopkin joined forces to unleash another Oasis on the world in 1984. They also recorded one self-titled album, but Julian couldn’t be arsed going on tour, so another cellist was drafted in. Then Mary got the sniffles and they packed it all in as a bad job. If only Noel & Liam had followed in their footsteps… D’You Know What I Mean?

OASIS #3

There are many things that I would like to say to you, but I don't know how…

I cannot make an unbiased choice this week, so I'm turning it over to you guys in the hope that sanity will prevail...