Oh dear.
It appears we need a new Prime Minister.
Again.
They're just not built to last these days, are they?
Well, as we appear to have exhausted every possible candidates in the government, I thought I'd suggest a few of my own...
5. Joe Talbot
Lead singer of Idles, one of the most political bands on the British music scene at the moment.
Policies: Celebrating immigration (particularly Danny Nedelko); Singing at fascists until his head comes off (I'm Scum).
Campaign slogan: "The best way to scare a Tory is to read and get rich."
4. Nigel Blackwell
(Half-) Man of the people. Cares about the things that really matter.
Policies: Making National Shite Day an official Bank
Holiday; Not allowing anyone to Organise our Bat-Walks; Leaving Kelvin
MacKenzie In A Suffolk Ditch, “in a second hand hessian sack”
Campaign Slogan: “No One Cares About Your Creative Hub So
Get Your Fucking Hedge Cut”
Half Man Half Biscuit - L'Enfer C'est Les Autres
3. Billy Nomates
If she’s got no mates, there’s no one to stab her in the
back.
Policies: Calling In Sick; Helping the Forgotten Normal People; Saying “No!”
Campaign Slogan: “Anyone can do it, but they don’t do shit.”
2. Gil Scott Heron
Yes, he’s been dead for a decade, but I still think he’s a more
promising candidate than 95% of the House of Commons.
Policies: Not Televising the Revolution; Taking Care of You
Campaign Slogan: “Mandate, my ass!”
1. Billy Bragg
Nigh on 40 years of mixing pop and politics… who better for
the top job?
Policies: Making sure There Is Power In A Union; Taking DownThe Union Jack; Waiting For The Great Leap Forwards
Campaign Slogan: “Is there more to a seat in parliament than sitting on your arse?”
Vote Bill!
ReplyDeleteI second that.
ReplyDeleteAh fantastic! That's a new PM (any one of them) and cabinet sorted as far as I'm concerned; (hopefully Gil is contactable through a psychic. It seems no more far fetched an idea than what's really happening).
ReplyDelete