Two of my favourite albums this year feature songs about the suicide of a close friend. Maybe I'm just a misery-guts. I do understand suicidal thoughts though. Like many people, I have been haunted by them at various times throughout my life. But I couldn’t ever act upon them because I know the impact it would have on my loved ones. And not just those in my immediate circle.
A year or so back, I received news than an old girlfriend had taken her own life. I hadn’t seen her in 20 odd years, but I still wondered if there was something I could have done. I don’t know if that’s egotistical. It wasn’t as though I was part of her life anymore: we’d parted on good terms (but it was her decision) and she’d gone on to marry and have children. The crazy thing is, on the outside at least, she was the happiest person I ever knew. And I know that doesn’t mean anything. But I’ll always wonder why and what if?
Waking Up The Echoes comes from the powerful new album by American Aquarium, Chicamacomico. Lead singer BJ Barham wrote the track about the death of a close friend, although he struggled to do so for many years. “It’s about looking back on a troubled person and choosing to focus on the good times instead of the dark times.”
I wish you’d have called me
Maybe I could have talked you down
But the thing that I wish most of all
Is that you were still around
Frank Turner’s latest album, FTHC, is one of the best of his career. One of many highlights is A Wave Across A Bay, a tribute to Frank’s friend Scott Hutchinson, lead singer of the band Frightened Rabbit, who died in 2018.
Goddam, I miss you man
It was just weeks before you left that we were speaking
I just wish that you had told me you were leaving
Before you walked your final mile
I’m not pissed off at you, man
You had something in your soul that we could recognise
You were one of us, but you’d worked out how you could survive
At least for a while
This post makes me very sad. Sad for the people mentioned who took their own lives and sad that you say you have been at times haunted by such thoughts. But as you say, many people are, and I do get it. We followers are not perhaps in your immediate circle but I hope our little blogging circle provides some sort of outlet - I suspect we do.
ReplyDeleteI remember well when Scott Hutchison died - a beautiful tribute song but just so wrong that it had to be written.
It's certainly true that writing this blog, and knowing the kind people who read it, even at a distance, has helped me through some tough times, Alyson. But I wouldnt want this post to be misconstrued as any kind of cry for help on my part. It was just to say I understand, in my own small way.
DeleteGood to know. And not misconstrued. I know you will understand.
DeleteAlyson
Always here for you, Rol. 24/7. As I'm sure are all your brilliant followers.
ReplyDeleteThanks, John, but the post really wasn't about me... except in the way that they all are.
Delete:)
ReplyDeleteVery true, C. In my work, I come across what the doctors call "suicidal ideation" in young people quite frequently. It's hard to argue with (not that it's my job to do so, thankfully).
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