My Top 22 of 2022: #5

5. Rumer – B Sides & Rarities Vol. 2

There’s an old line that could well be applied to how I feel about Rumer: “She could sing the telephone directory and make me want to listen”. But do we even have telephone directories any more? Probably time to update that line. “She could sing my twitter feed…” doesn’t really have the same ring, especially now Elon has murdered Twitter. Nothing’s as good as it used to be…

…except maybe Rumer, who ages like a fine wine. But I haven’t drunk wine since the 20^th Century. What else ages well? Certainly not my writing ability.

An album of B-sides and Rarities seems a very 20^th Century notion too, but everything about Rumer is gloriously old-fashioned, so it’s easily forgivable. 

Rumer - Old-Fashioned Girl

I just wanna be there
When you get home
I’ll be your old-fashioned girl
When you get home

And if that didn’t illustrate my point, then try this Bacharach & David cover, a song that champions traditional gender roles so brazenly, it’s sure to give Alanis Morrissette palpitations…

Rumer – Wives and Lovers

Day after day
There are girls at the office
And men will always be men
Don’t send him off
With your hair still in curlers
You may not see him again

That’s one of three Bacharach & David compositions in this collection; no surprise there, Rumer has long favoured their tunes and proved herself more than capable to standing toe to toe with their greatest interpreters: Dionne Warwick, Dusty Springfield, Karen Carpenter… and all due respect to Cilla, chuck, but if this isn’t the best version of Anyone Who Has A Heart you’ve ever heard, then it’s time to get some new ears.

Rumer – Anyone Who Had A Heart

The album’s mostly made up of covers, from the likes of Elton, Carly, Van The Man and even Cherry Ghost… and every one of them should feel honoured to get the Rumer treatment. Because it’s beautiful.

One final note – there’s no better album for listening to during a busy commute. Guaranteed to soothe the soul of the stressed-out traveller every time you’re stuck in a motorway snarl-up. She could sing the travel reports and make me want to listen.