Product Placement Friday #4: Preparation H

U2. Oasis. Sting. If only Preparation H was fully effective at dealing with every pain in the arse we encounter in this world...

You might not expect there to be a whole lot of songs extolling the virtues of this world-famous hemorrhoid treatment... but one immediately sprung to mind, so I figured I'd see if I might discover any more. Let's start in the fictional country of Bukravia with a French band who owe a slight debt to Borat...

Flying Orkestar - Préparation H

How best to follow that than with some truck-driving country? Ten four, good buddies.

Dave Dudley – Rolaids, Doan's Pills And Preparation H

Neither of which would have been enough for me to devote a whole post to bottom remedies... were it not for the wonderful Ben Folds and this, his debut solo single (after he ditched the Five who were actually three). It's a song about musicians with huge egos (but not much talent) and their whiny songs about First World Problems. There's a healthy dose of irony here as Ben often writes songs about just those things... but he doesn't take himself too seriously, so that's OK.

Let me tell y'all what it's like,
Being male, middle-class and white.
It's a bitch, if you don't believe, listen up to my new CD.
I got shit running thought my brain,
It's so intense that I can't explain.
All alone in my white-boy pain,
Shake your booty while the band complains.

I'm pissed off, but I'm too polite,

When people break in the McDonald's line.

Mom and Dad you made me so uptight,

I'm gonna cuss on the mic tonight.

I don't know how much I can take,

Girl, give me something I can break.

In a haze these days, I pull up to the stop light,

I can feel that something's not right.

I can feel that someone's blasting me with hate,

And bass, sending dirty vibes my way.

Cause my Great, Great, Great, Great, Grandad,

Made someone's Great, Great, Great, Great Grandaddies slaves.

It wasn't my idea, it wasn't my idea, never was my idea.

I just drove to the store for some Preparation-H...