Wednesday, 24 May 2023

TV On The Radio #9: A Question of Sport


It seems bizarre now, how much we all sat around the TV of an evening when I was growing up, watching whatever was on, even if the show in question held no interest for me. Case in point: A Question of Sport, hosted by human Spitting Image puppet David Coleman, with team captains "cheeky" footballer Emlyn Hughes and the world's least charismatic rugby player, Bill Beaumont. Why did I watch it week after week when I had no interest in sport, couldn't answer any of the questions, and had no idea who any of the contestants were, unless it was Steve Davis or Ian Botham?  

It seems even more bizarre that A Question of Sport is still going. I understand there was a bit of a scandal recently when the BBC sacked longtime presenter Sue Barker for being too old. To add insult to injury, they replaced her with 3D-printed "funny man" facsimile Paddy McGuinnes, a quizmaster who makes David Coleman look like Magnus Magnusson. You can probably guess I don't still watch it, 40 years later.

I was sure Depeche Mode must have done a song named after A Question Of Sport. After all, they did give us...

Depeche Mode - A Question Of Time

...and...

Depeche Mode - A Question Of Lust

...but clearly Martin Gore (who wrote both) isn't a sports fan. 

When this next one cropped up on my lyric search, I thought it was a song called Courting by the London "indietronica" band Grand National. (I wish I'd made that genre up as a joke.) But no, it's a song called Grand National by Liverpudlian post-punk band Courting...

It's just a question of sport, we’re all just setting the course
We're all just cracking the whip with some incredible force

Courting - Grand National

The late great Cathal Coughlan, formerly of Microdisney and The Fatima Mansions, appears to be someone else who forced himself to watch A Question of Sport...

I learned to tell jokes, 
answer Questions Of Sport, 
I would run for charity. 

Cathal Coughlan & The Grand Necropolitan Quartet - Best Say We're Not Serious

Here are three songs named after the world's dullest quiz programme (some of you may care to disagree, alternate views are permitted), each of them guaranteed to be more thrilling than half an hour guessing What Happened Next?

Whirling Pig Dervish - A Question Of Sport 

Bureaucrats - A Question Of Sport

Citizen Cain - Question Of Sport

Today's top tune comes from the world of folk though... a little bit of (historical) political commentary from Eliza's dad...

Now the first that I met when I came into land
Was the Grantham grocer's daughter
She cried aloud, "How sorry I am
There wasn't anybody here for to caught you"
She crooned in my ear like I knew she could
Her Cabinet briefing on the misunderstood
Bathed my wounds in my very own blood
Calling on the world press to support her




4 comments:

  1. I also know naff all about sport, yet also regularly watched the show in the Coleman, Beaumont, Hughes era, I've really no idea why now that I come to think about it. I guess it must've been on at tea time.

    Magnificent to hear Carthy & Swarb at the top of the pile.

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  2. How great a name is Whirling Pig Dervish.
    Swc.

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