It's Half Term, so no time for any Cynical Self Help this week. Instead, here's a Celebrity Jukebox I've been meaning to run for the last few weeks, but people keep dying and overshadowing it.
He might not be my favourite Bond, but he's certainly the best Dad Indiana Jones could have had. And he was the best Russian submarine captain with a Scottish accent I've ever seen at the cinema. When Sean Connery left us in 2020, he left a legendary legacy of roles that went far beyond Bond... The Untouchables, The Name Of The Rose, The Rock, Highlander... and let's not forget the fashion faux pas of Zardoz.
But how does the Celebrity Jukebox remember the Man Who Would Be King? Predictably, with lots of rappers claiming to be as cool as he was. Hell, even Robbie Williams tries to get in on that act...
I'm an honorary Sean Connery, born '74
There's only one of me
Single-handedly raising the economy
Ain't no chance of the record company dropping me
I bet Sir Sean loved that one.
Not that Robbie was the first to rhyme Connery with economy...
Drink responsibly or drink constantly
Be who you wanna be in this economy
Drunk as Sean Connery at the finery
Can't throw me out, motherfucker, I'm the honoree
And if that wasn't enough to get 007 shaken but not stirred, here's Adam Ant doing his best Sean Connery impershonashion.
Any messages Miss Moneypenny?
They tried so hard
But there will never be
There will never be
Another Connery
(At least, I think that's what he was trying to do.)
Allez Allez were a Belgian funk band in the early 80s whose debut album was produced by Martyn Ware of Heaven 17 and the Human League. Singer Sarah Osborne then married Glenn Gregory and the band went their separate ways. However, as the law states that all 80s bands must reform at some point in the 21st Century, Allez Allez came back in 2019 with this. It's great, but one has to wonder if it was the final nail in the Connery coffin...
And here's a few more bands making the most of Sean's good name...
And here's a band from Sheffield who appear to have some inside information...
Meanwhile, the Toy Dolls find their way onto this blog far more than I'm comfortable with...
James Bond lives down our street
Jimmy's a spy but both you and I know
Sean Connery or Roger Moore, that I'm not quite sure
But what I know is James Bond...
And Mark E. Smith mumbles the first Bond's name here...
In truth, it's not the best batch of songs this feature has ever thrown up. In fact, I was getting ready to close with this, from a 90s George Martin Tribute album I got as a promo copy back when I worked in radio...
Yes, that is Sir Sean himself, doing one of the better Beatles songs in his own inimitable sh-tyle.
Fortunately, the day was saved, not by James Bond, but by The James Dean Driving Experience, a short-lived band (fondly remembered in some dusty corners of the interweb) from the late 80s. This was their final single, from 1990, which pedants will argue was still the late 80s...
On behalf on a nation I would like to apologise for Tartan Specials.
ReplyDeleteThe English have done far worse.
DeleteAs I slowly scrolled through your piece I was saying to myself, “Oh, please, don’t forget the James Dean Driving Experience.” You have made me very happy. - Brian
ReplyDeleteHappy to oblige, Brian.
Delete