One Track Summer #11: The Wedding Singer

Why did nobody tell me XXXXX had a new album out last year?

I could start a whole new series with that title. Forget the algorithms, they're useless. When I "LIKE" an artist, I'd expect the streaming service to tell me they've got a new record out. Maybe give it priority over another bloody Van Morrison live recording from 1969? 

It's just so hard to keep up.

Anyway, this time it's Jens Lekman, my favourite Swedish pop star, with apologies to Benny, Bjorn and Robyn. Songs for Other People's Weddings reveals that since 2004, Jens has been moonlighting as a wedding singer, and here he chronicles so of the bizarre experiences that's led to, with his customary wit and wisdom...

Waiting by the urinal
for my turn behind two guys
who are taking their time since they are
dressed in an oversized
tuxedo that combines
their bodies into one
Two arms, three legs, a bowtie
A smile as bright as the sun
As if they’ve been conjoined twins since time begun

Their names are Jun and Arthur, they’re getting married today
I’ve been hired as their wedding singer, they know me by the letter J
They’ve just learned that with a suit like this it’s hard to pee
So while one guy does his business, the other turns to me
And says sorry they couldn’t pay much and I say it’s fine
Cause I’m having the time of my life
The drinks are free and after all I
make a fortune from my streams on Spotify
And we laugh and they struggle to zip up their fly

If I'd known, I might have asked him to play at my wedding. Yeah, like I'd have been able to afford that...