Thursday, 21 February 2019

Radio Songs #55: Shampoo (The Ghost - Epilogue)


A couple of weeks back, Lynchie asked if we'd ever got anyone in to investigate our radio station ghost. An exorcist? A paranormal investigator? A ghostbuster?

Not officially.

But there was Shampoo.

I've changed Shampoo's name slightly, but it sounded pretty similar. That wasn't his real name, of course. His real name was Barry or Trevor or Gordon, something very down-to-earth and ordinary. Shampoo was his psychic name.

Around this time, the presenter on the phone-in show (who was all-out crazy in ways I won't even go into) was looking for ways to boost listening and get more callers. When she invited a local medium in, I was extremely cynical... but credit where credit is due, Shampoo did get people calling. There are a lot of gullible people out there, especially the lonely ones listening to late night radio shows.

Shampoo traded in speaking to the spirit world. He wasn't as extreme as some of the charlatans out there - most of his otherworldly conversations were pretty vague, to be honest, but the people who called in often seemed soothed or reassured by his gentle, non-specific "clairvoyancy".

From the moment I met him, I thought Shampoo was a fraud, and I made my feelings quite clear. When he spoke about seeing people's auras, I jumped in and offered, "I bet when you look at mine it's pitch black, isn't it?" Shampoo just smiled. A wise and extremely patronising response, but we both knew where we stood. He only came in once a month, but after the first couple of times I made sure it was on nights I wasn't working. That was better for both of us.

It didn't take long before someone mentioned the ghost to Shampoo, and of course he claimed to be able to sense something... something... something... It never went much further than that. By this time, the spooky events had died down anyway, so even if Shampoo had been a bona fide medium, all he'd have got would be echoes. Or perhaps Shampoo's arrival was the final straw for our old friend Sidney.  I wouldn't have blamed that ghost if he took one look at Shampoo and thought, "to hell with this place - I've had my fun, but it's time to move on..."

There was only one song I could play today...



5 comments:

  1. I wonder what Shirley Ghostman would have made of it all?! (Brilliant comedy, I could do with a new series).
    It's a bit too flaky, this psychic stuff, isn't it? I can't remember if I've ever mentioned it anywhere but I was persuaded once to join a friend for An Evening With Doris Collins (a cut-price Doris Stokes, I think.) Some aspects were hard to explain, but one time she got it so wrong it really was embarrassing. She had someone's deceased (obviously) father with her and kept going on, "he's very musical, isn't he? An accomplished musician" "Erm,no..." said the audience member. Doris just kept fishing and got quite angry, "well I'm hearing that he's very musical, it's very strong - has he ever played an instrument?" "No" "What about when he was younger?" The relative then conceded that their father had apparently had briefly had some piano lessons as a child, although that was all. "See, I told you he was musical! I told you!" Doris shouted back and was really quite unpleasant about it. That exchange stuck with me. Charlatan!

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    1. Yes, as the Indelicates song shows, there are some very clever conmen / conwomen out there who exploit people when they're at their most vulnerable. Doris doesn't sound like the cleverest though!

      I'm glad you recognised Shirley Ghostman. I worried for a second someone might think that was actually a photo of Shampoo!

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  2. So many people are drawn in by these charlatans, people I usually think of as being highly rational. Odd.

    Anyway, it’s been a fun series this, but looks as if we’ve reached the end of the line, what with Sidney’s departure.

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  3. I don't think I could have been polite to Shampoo. I have an aunt whose granddaughter died in a car accident and my aunt turned to mediums as a means of contacting her. I don't know whether she was paying them money or not and I'd love to tell her to stay clear of them, but she seems to derive great comfort from these sessions, so I just jeep my mouth shut.

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