My Top Ten Fountains of Wayne Songs

Sadly, the coronavirus has claimed its first big musical casualty - from my record collection, at least.

(And as I was finishing this post, it claimed its second. A tribute to that gentleman, nay legend, will follow shortly.)

Fountains of Wayne were one of my favourite guitar bands of the late 90s / early 00s, bringing fun, storytelling lyrics, Beach Boys harmonies and chunky power pop chords back to the charts as a welcome reprieve from the darkness and self-destruction of the last days of Britpop. Most of the band's biggest songs were written by lead singers Adam Schlesinger and Chris Collingwood... and last week, one half of that songwriting duo fell victim to Covid-19.

Adam Schlesinger was a multi-talented musician, singing, songwriting and playing bass, guitar, keyboards and drums. As well as being a co-founder of the Fountains of Wayne, he also wrote a number of songs for movie soundtracks, musicals and TV shows. He worked with everybody from Nicki Minaj to the Monkees, so I guess he packed quite a lot into his 52 years... but damn it, 52 is way too young to be taken by this bloody disease.

The Fountains of Wayne drifted apart following their 2011 album Sky Full Of Holes and began working on separate projects. Here are ten of my favourites from a much-missed band that I was fortunate to see live around the turn of the millennium. A really difficult Top Ten to put together for me, and I had to leave out some of their biggest "hits". I'll be honest, I don't know exactly which of these were written by Schlesinger and which were penned by Chris Collingwood, but there are plenty more great tunes where these came from...


10. Traffic And Weather

Two news anchors fall in love live on air. Cheesy fun.

Chuck Scarborough turns to Sue Simmons

Says, "sugar, you don't know what you're missin'!"

9. Hackensack

That girl you fancied in school is now a big movie star... but you still carry a torch.

Now I see face in the strangest places

Movies and magazines

I saw you talkin' to Christopher Walken

On my TV screen

But I will wait for you

As long as I need to

And if you ever get back to Hackensack

I'll be here for you 

Katy Perry covered this one... believe it or not.

8. It Must Be Summer

Imagine if the Beach Boys had Weezer guitars...

7. Barbara H.

A pop storytelling masterpiece...

For a small girl Barbara sure has got a big crush

The kind that makes you want to break stuff

And blame it on a man you don't know

She came down to New York City in a big bus

Nine hours driving and you can't just stay home

So it doesn't matter which way you go

...and wait till the chorus kicks in!

6. Troubled Times

A splash of Simon & Garfunkel to this one. Dar Williams did a lovely cover of it too.

5. Bright Future In Sales

I worked in a sales department (albeit as a "creative") when this came out. It played in my head a lot while watching the sales team in action...

I gotta do some quick readin'

For the big meetin'

But my head is spinnin'

And I can't quite open my eyes

I gotta get my shit together (together)

Cause I can't live like this forever (forever)

You know I've come too far and I don't wanna fail

I got a new computer

And a bright future in sales

4. Please Don't Rock Me Tonight

The band's eponymous debut album was packed full of gems, many of which were released as singles and enjoyed a fair bit of UK airplay back in 1996. Songs like Sink To The Bottom, Survival Car and Radiation Vibe (which even cracked the Top 40)... although my two favourites are this one... and this one:

3. Leave The Biker

Another lesser-known treat from their debut album, this one is a classic in the jealous loser geek songwriting genre. Stick around for the ELO chord right at the end too.

He's got his arms around every man's dream

And crumbs in his beard from the seafood special

Oh can't you see my world is falling apart

Baby please leave the biker

Leave the biker, break his heart

And I wonder if he ever has cried

Cause his kitten got run over and died...?

2. Stacy's Mom

The one that everybody knows, and familiarity may breed contempt. The video also causes problems for some people, though I see it as a humourous parody of a certain kind of 80s teen movies.

The song, though, is power pop perfection - up there with My Best Friend's Girl by The Cars and Jessie's Girl by Rick Springfield. I won't hear a word said against it.

1. Someone To Love

Not the Queen song, just a heartbreaking "what might have been" love story about two lonely people who might have been perfect for each other... if fate had smiled on them.

Seth Shapiro got his law degree

He moved to Brooklyn from Schenectady, '93

Got some clients in the food industry

He says it's not the money, it's the recipes

He calls his mom, says he's doing fine

She's got somebody on the other line

Puts Coldplay on, pours a glass of wine

Curls up with a book about organized crime

Beth McKenzie got the job of her dreams

Retouching photos for a magazine aimed at teens

It's Thursday night, she should be out on the scene

But she's sitting at home watching "The King of Queens"

There's something wrong that she can't describe

She takes the contacts out of her eyes

Sets the alarm for 6: 45

So she can get a little exercise

That's how you write a pop song, right there.