My Top Ten Opening Lines Volume 3

I manage one of these Top Tens about every three years (although this one is slightly late). I collect them as I go along and when I've got enough for a Top Ten, I unleash them on the world.

Volume 1 (2015)

Volume 2 (2018)

In previous volumes, folks have entertained themselves by seeing how many they can get from the lines alone before clicking on the links to see if they're right. That might be a little harder this time...

10. What a drag it is getting old

Pretty big clue above. I wonder if he looks back on the irony of writing that line when he was so young...

9. Well, it's only been two years, and she already hates my dog

Clearly that relationship is doomed.

8. Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today, to get through this thing called "life".

He certainly helped me make my way through it.

7. Son, I'm 30 - I only went with your mother 'cause she's dirty

He always was a wrong 'un.

6. The trouble with your brother - he's always sleeping with your mother

Ditto the above.

5. When I was a young boy, sniffed a lot of glue

Bit obscure that one, but still a great opening line.

4. Sometimes you're better off dead; there's a gun in your hand and it's pointing at your head...

Don't do it!

3. Honey, don't you be yelling at me when I'm cleaning my gun 

Ditto the above.

2. With the money from her accident, she bought herself a mobile home

Not his first appearance in one of these Top Tens.

1. I'll have a shower and then phone my brother up. Within the hour, I'll smash another cup 

If I were ever to phone my brother up, I reckon I'd end up breaking crockery afterwards too.