Friday, 8 July 2022

Celebrity Jukebox #7: Colin Firth


We watched the dramatisation of The Staircase recently. It’s different to the documentary called The Staircase, which we’ve already watched, although they do purport to tell the same story. It’s a fascinating mystery, with no definitive solution, though you’re likely to come to a different conclusion after watching the drama than you do after watching the doc. 

The documentary makers claim the writers of the drama played fast and loose with some of the facts. The drama writers claim the documentary makers were biased because one of the filmmakers ended up having an affair with Michael Peterson, the author accused of murdering his wife by pushing her down the stairs. The documentary makers claim this relationship took place long after the woman concerned stopped working on the project, and that her involvement with Peterson had no bearing on the way they presented the story. Both sources admit that Michael Peterson repeatedly lied as part of his testimony, yet still he claims to have not lied about murdering his wife. And that’s before we even get onto the killer owl theory (my personal favourite).

After a while, the line between reality and fiction becomes so blurred I’m not sure anyone will ever know the truth, but one thing is for certain: Colin Firth, who plays Peterson in the drama, relished the role. From Mr. Darcy to King George VI, Firth has built a solid career playing slightly bumbling Englishmen, like a less annoying Hugh Grant. He was unrecognisable in The Staircase though, and, for anyone who’d seen the documentary first, virtually indistinguishable from Michael Peterson himself. 

I’ve been listening to a tune that mentions Colin Firth quite a bit lately, so I had to mention it here before I forgot it. I did a quick search to see if there were any more, and was surprised to find a bunch of rappers name-dropping him, often because of the roles he’s played. The only one I could find a link to though was this. Those bloody rappers, so out of touch with modern times. They really need to get on youtube if they want to make a go of it.


Kingsman like I'm Colin Firth,
Know the lies that's been unearthed,
I'm not giving power
To a coward that will make things worst.

(Bit of helpful advice, girls: keep away from boys with the surname “Lothario”. They’ll only bring you pain.)

Back to my chosen song, and it's from our old pal E, who has a bone to pick with Colin Firth because of this scene in Love Actually...

Everyone’s a critic
“I can’t stand Eels!”
So says Colin Firth
Rain on my parade, then the clouds fade
It's a good night on earth

E has since reached out to “Colin Firth’s people” in the hope of burying the hatchet, but as yet, Mr. Darcy has yet to respond…



2 comments:

  1. A lot of really funny lines in this one - hope this means your dose of the 'blues' has passed.

    Wondered what you meant by about the final song until I clicked on the link, of course the typed up manuscript in the lake. Wouldn't really work with a memory stick.

    Mr Darcy and Mark Darcy in Bridget Jones. 'A bumbling Englishman slightly less annoying than Hugh Grant' - excellent, although I am liking Hugh's more mature roles of late.

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