Back when I worked in radio advertising, we spent a huge part of our day playing competitive Hearts on the office computers. It's a four player game so we rotated who was playing - sometimes the sales team would join us too, but there was always enough people for a game, multiple games, throughout the day. Everyone who played had a nickname. There was Stretch and Stig, Hammer and Rabbit, Herbie and Smudge... and Marvin.
Guess who was Marvin?
Life... don't talk to me about life!
(Marvin made a single once. It was a double B side. Nobody liked it much, but then, they wouldn't, would they?)
Anyway, last week, you may recall, we established that I am paranoid, just like Marvin. Hopefully it's just common or garden paranoia, not one of the fancy kinds that needs specialist treatment, but frankly I've lived with it all my life, and I'm getting a wee bit sick of it. So is there anything I can do?
Mind, as always, has some useful advice to offer...
1. Keep A Diary
Well, I do that, don't I? It's this blog. People ask why I spend so long writing these posts... well, there's your answer. And it does help. Particularly the Self Help For Cynics series. Since I started that, I have been able to understand and cope with the things going on in my head much better than I was doing before.
2. Question & Challenge Paranoid Thoughts
Once again, we're back to arguing with the voice in our head. We've talked about this a number of times previously, particularly in the post on Defusion. As soon as we start questioning negative thoughts, it allows us to see them for what they are: just thoughts. Which are really just neurons sparking and chemicals washing around in our noggins. They're not real.
Here's a sampling of the questions Mind suggests we consider...
Would other people think my suspicions are realistic?
Have I talked to other people about my worries?
Is it possible I have exaggerated the threat?
Is there any evidence for my suspicions that can't be questioned?
Are my worries based on events that could be viewed in different ways?
Are my worries based on my feelings rather than definite evidence?
Is it likely that I would be singled out above everyone else?
Is there any evidence against my beliefs?
Do I still feel suspicious even though other people have reassured me that there is no reason to be?
It might feel like you're interrogating yourself if you run through all those... but then, what is an interrogation if not a gradual chipping away at an individual version of events in order to establish the truth?
3. Look For Support Around You
Once again, isn't this why we blog? Well, it's another of the reasons I'm sat here doing this on a Sunday night. However, there is a part of me - the PARANOID part - that worries these posts might be interpreted as the work of a crass attention-seeker. I suppose when you write a blog, you are an attention-seeker, because you want people to read it... and comment occasionally. But whenever I receive a kind or supportive comment as a result of writing a post like this, it does make me feel guilty.
I mean, really Rol, you can't win, can you? People are trying to make you feel better - and they actually make you feel worse! Well, maybe not worse. I do appreciate the positive affirmation... it means a lot. But there's still that intrusive voice saying, "What a cry baby! Are you really so weak an insecure that you need to beg people to say nice things to you? Emotionally blackmail them into doing so? You oughta be ashamed of yourself...!"
4. Learn To Relax
The two things that help me relax more than anything else?
Writing and listening to music.
Hey presto!
5. Look After Yourself
i) Try to get enough sleep.
I do better than a lot of people in this regard. But there's no such thing as "enough sleep" when you have a job, a child and a house...
ii) Think about your diet.
Not as much as some people do, but I've cut down on sugar and I'm eating more nuts, fruit and beetroot...
iii) Try to keep active.
Not as much as I'd like to, but I'm getting out walking two or three times a week at the moment... and I've taken to running up the stairs at work, to get my heart rate elevated.
iv) Spend time in nature.
See above.
v) Try doing something creative.
This is creative, isn't it? At a stretch...
I may be paranoid,
But not an android
To help with (3) I promise never to say anything kind or supportive again.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeleteNo problem. Anything to help an outstanding individual like you.
DeleteBugger!
Ditto what Ernie said!
ReplyDeleteBut seriously, you seem to have a good handle of everything at the moment so I'm not going to make any other suggestions. Who would have guessed your favourite things to do for relaxation are blogging and music - D'oh..., all of us. And yes, I would say it's creative too.
Now I'm worrying I'm too predictable!
DeleteI can assure you that if I thought you were an attention-seeking, emotionally blackmailing and predictable cry baby I wouldn't be here!
ReplyDeleteHoo ha ha haaa - my evil subterfuge is working!
DeleteBlogging is very much creative....
ReplyDeleteQuite a few years ago, I was talking to a friend who is well-thought of in the visual arts world in Glasgow....and I was telling them how I wish I had just a smidgen of their creativity.
The response was telling....'I wish I had the ability to make mix-tapes the way you do....and to have the ability to be so passionate about music. You are every bit as creative as I am.' (I'm paraphrasing as it was part of a much longer 'rant' at what was seen by my friend as me putting myself down.
There's not many out there who can do what you do. It's creative genius most days.
Thank you. Although I refer the honourable gentleman back to point #3.
DeletePersonally, number one has never worked for me (it's too much like reflective hard work).
ReplyDeleteBut ... all other points should be observed, even if I'm not very good at number 5
ii) Think about your diet - I often do, I think my diet is cr*p, but do I change it? Nope, caffeine, nicotine and alcohol is the cornerstone of any good diet. Isn't it?
Your blog is better than any diary.
Deleteii) Maybe if this was the 1950s.