My Top Ten "When I Grow Up..." Songs

The other day I received a text from the better half that made me tear up:

"Sam just said 'daddy fixes EVERYTHING doesn't he?' and 'when I grow up, I want to be like daddy'"

The tragic irony of this is almost crushing.

When he does grow up and realises his Daddy isn't McGuyver, what a huge disappointment I will be.

Here's ten songwriters considering what they want to be when they grow up...


10. The Humblebums - Rick Rack

Gerry Rafferty before Stealer's Wheel & Baker Street.

Billy Connolly before stand up comedy fame.

Together, they were humble bums who dreamed...

When I grow up I want to be an engine driver
But if I can't be that I'll be a deep sea diver

9. The Byrds - I Wanna Grow Up To Be A Politician

You can imagine young Donald singing this back in the 60s...

(Though more than likely he was listening to this.)

8. Style Council - Confessions Of A Pop Group

Even when he was doing lite pop soul, Weller was a grumpy old cuss...

When I grow up I want to be
All the things you've never been
And your opinion will count for none.

7. First Aid Kit - When I Grow Up

A cover of the Fever Ray song. I'm sorry, but First Aid Kit win this one hands down for me.

Whichever you prefer, they both want to grow up to a forester. Better than growing up to be a Forrest Gump, anyway.

6. Morrissey - All You Need Is Me

Oh, bloody hell, it's him again. Do I need to print the disclaimer?

And then you offer your one and only joke

And ask me "What will I be,
When I grow up to be a man"?

Me? Nothing!

Self-deprecating comic irony at its Mozziest. And here's a few words for those who have left him behind...

There's so much destruction
All over the world
And all you can do is complain about me!

I was a small fat child in a welfare house
There was only one thing I ever dreamed about
Fate has just handed it to me

Whoopee!

You don't like me but you love me,
Either way you're wrong
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone

5. My Chemical Romance - The End

A classic anti-growing up song. When I grow up I want to be nothing at all!

4. Frank Turner - Eulogy

Frank Turner + brass band. What else do you need?

Not everyone grows up to be an astronaut,
Not everyone was born to be a king,
Not everyone can be Freddie Mercury,
But everyone can raise their glass and sing.

Well I haven't always been a perfect person,
Well I haven't done what mum and dad had dreamed,
But on the day I die, I'll say at least I fucking tried.
That's the only eulogy I need,
That's the only eulogy I need.

3. Michelle Shocked - When I Grow Up (I Want To Be An Old Woman)

Pure class. Don't be shocked.

2. The Pixies - Debaser

Wanna grow
Up to be
Be a debaser.

'Nuff said.

1. Beach Boys - When I Grow Up To Be A Man

I could have saved this for one of my mid-life crisis posts...

Will I dig the same things that turn me on as a kid?
Will I look back and say that I wish I hadn't done what I did?
Will I joke around and still dig those sounds
When I grow up to be a man?

Will my kids be proud or think their old man is really a square?
When they're out having fun yeah, will I still wanna have my share?

Won't last forever
It's kind of sad
Won't last forever
It's kind of sad

What do you want to be when you grow up?