If so, try your luck with the ten clues below... work out who they are and what might connect their songs. To tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I lost track myself...
10. Stuck in your bottom, and in Iowa itself.
9. The Prodigy, in a patriarchy.
8. Discotheque that only plays A Horse With No Name.
7. Goes with Vera and Betty.
6. Slain rain.
5. Pig home, inventory, spasms.
4. Where a Flashy actor goes to buy sable.
3. Throw him on a bonfire with Joni.
2. Mrs. Paragons gets in a kerfuffle with Raoul Shimmery.
1. Tommy, in chains.
Go ahead, punk - make my day. Answers tomorrow morning.
No, I'm not getting a divorce. Louise and I aren't even married. Neither of us like a big fuss. And even if we were, she wouldn't divorce me. Too expensive. Far more likely to bump me off for the insurance money. So if I'm not here next week...
No, this post is called Divorce because that's the name of a new band I discovered. I don't know much about them other than that they're from Nottingham and that they continue the recent trend of female-fronted indie bands being far, far more interesting than their male-fronted counterparts. They've only released five singles so far, but they're all top notch, and they recently bunched four of them together on one wonderful EP. Describing their songs, they use phrases such as "juvenile arrogance", "sobering bitterness" and "a tiredness for this life in all its monotony and glass ceilings". And then, the clincher: "There is a humour at the core of this record, a need to not take it all too seriously."
That's more than enough to make me want a Divorce...
I'm not sure if Orange Crush has ever been sold in the UK, though I do have a vague memory of it from my childhood. These days you're more likely to find Fanta or Tango in your local shop, but Orange Crush is still big business in other parts of the world, and if there's a top tune attached, it's worthy of a mention here.
First though, let's have some Nicole Dollanganger, and a song she wrote to her ex-boyfriend in prison...
Orange Crush was the first single from R.E.M.'s 1988 album Green, leading to their debut TOTP appearance in the UK. In the US it was only released as a promotional single, although it did top the airplay charts for 8 weeks, beating The Irish Band. If I didn't love the song already, the last bit would be enough.
Orange Crush is about a young man forced to go to Vietnam and his worries over exposure to Agent Orange. Michael Stipe sings "I've got my spine" in the chorus as Spina Bifida was one of the side effects of exposure to the gas, and often affected soldiers' chances of having healthy children.
I had a ticket to see Jim Bob last Wednesday, and I've been looking forward to it for some time. I've done pretty well at getting back into live music over the past few months, and this would have been my fourth gig of the year... but it was problematic. Firstly it was a week night, towards the end of term, and in Leeds. Now, I work in Leeds, so getting there wasn't a problem... but getting home usually is. Still, I figured when I bought the ticket, it'd be quieter at night and I'd get home quicker...
On Wednesday, I finish work at 4.30. It's usually a nightmare getting home in time to pick Sam up from after school club before that closes at 6, but as that wasn't an issue, I stayed at work and did some online grocery shopping, then stopped off at the supermarket to pick up a sandwich and a few bits. I made it to the venue in plenty of time and sat in the car eating a reduced M&S Chicken caesar baton. And that's when the anxiety kicked in. I was already exhausted after a long school term, and the travel has really been getting to me this year. Jim Bob had sent out the showtimes via social media and I knew he wasn't on till 9, but I was eager to catch the support act, Lonely Tourist...
As time ticked on though, closer to the start of the gig, my anxiety grew. Even if I didn't stay till the end of Jim Bob's set at 10.45, I wouldn't be home till well after 11, post-gig high means I never get to sleep easily, and I knew I had to be up at 6.30 whatever. All around me, middle-aged men in faded Carter USM T-shirt were strolling happily up to the venue, smiling and chatting, and I just started to feel worse and worse. I'm too old for this shit. Who am I kidding? I'm not going to enjoy the show if I'm constantly worrying about getting home, getting to sleep, getting up again and driving the hour plus commute to work tomorrow morning...
Just before 8, as Lonely Tourist was about to hit the stage, I turned the key in the ignition and drove home.
Jim Bob has made some of my favourite records of the past few years and his new album, Thanks For Reaching Out, is a cracker. I've never seen him live and he was definitely a name to tick off. Maybe next time he'll take pity on us soft, middle-aged northern Jessies and book a weekend slot...
It pleases me greatly that there isn't only one band who chose to call themselves The Only Ones. Just as there are many songs that do similar. I guess we all want to feel special, unique, like we're the only one... even if we're not.
THE ONLY ONES #1
"You know I'm just an average, ordinary guy..." sings Michigan's Larry Calder at the beginning of this 1966 song. Calling his band The Only Ones seems rather contrary to that.
THE ONLY ONES #2
One year later, Jim and John Axberg thought they were the Only Ones. Well, they were the Only Ones from Longview Texas... with their old-fashioned, sexist attitudes, damn them!
THE ONLY ONES #3
Peter Perrett, Alan Mair, John Perry and Mike Kellie are The Only Ones most of you will know, with one huge hit and three well-respected albums to their name, released between 1978 and 1980. Except... that huge hit never actually made the charts, reaching only #44... in New Zealand. So how is it we all know it so well?
The band reformed in 2007, following a resurgence of interest, and they're still gigging today... sadly without drummer Mike Kellie, who died in 2017.
Here's that huge hit that wasn't a hit...
I found two other bands called The Only Ones - the first from Minneapolis in 1965, the second from Australia in 1983. Their music can't be found online though, so we're limited to the only three above. But which is The Only One for you?
