Many of my mum's stories sound like episodes of Last of the Summer Wine if you write them down. One such tale involves a gentleman named Wright, a kind of Odd Job Man she knew in her youth. Wright was A Character, and I've probably heard lots of stories about him in my time, but the one that sticks in my mind is about the time he was fixing a guttering on the third floor roof across from the local butcher's shop. This was long before the time of scaffolding or Health & Safety in general, so to keep him from falling while he was doing the work, he tied a rope around his waist which he fed through a skylight window and got his "lad" to hold the other end in the safety of the attic. ("Lad "could mean son, but it could just as easily mean assistant or apprentice in Yorkshire. I didn't ask.)
"Don't let go of this rope, lad." Simple instructions.
Anyway, the job took rather a long time, and Wright was getting a bit peckish. He could smell the pies from the butcher's shop and his attention drifted over there while he worked. It was getting on for lunchtime and he noticed the shop door open. And who should walk out, pie in hand? You can guess the rest.
I was reminded of this story while listening to the tale of Awkward Sean from the new Half Man Half Biscuit record. There's a big mystery about what happened to Awkward Sean, but the song contains a number of other conundrums, not least: what is Old Joe pointing at? I think he's seen Wright fixing the guttering...
You’d call round but never go in
He’d always keep you for ages on the step
As Old Joe over the road
Pointed up at the roof
I once heard Jennifer Hughes
Claim she’d been in the hallway and it stank
And Old Joe was over the road
Pointing up at the roof
Wright lived to tell the tale, in case you were worried.
