Saturday Snapshots #77 - The Answers

Every Sunday morning, we discover the Heaven Is A Place On Earth, when the answers to Saturday Snapshots are finally revealed. And I Get Weak when I think about how much hard work you guys put into solving these clues. Sometimes I have an idea which are the hardest ones to guess, but if you'd asked me yesterday I'd have told you that was probably #7 this week... and yet Walter was first in with that yesterday. So what do I know?

I find it increasingly hard to add up the points for this every week, but I'm pretty sure yesterday was a 3-points-each draw between Lynchie & C. I'm sure Lynchie will tell me if I'm wrong. Thank you all for playing, as always.

Here are this week's answers...


10. Policewoman sees scarlet, burgundy and raspberry.

Scarlet, burgundy and raspberry are three colours red.

A policewoman would be a copper girl.

Three Colours Red - Copper Girl

9. Genesis, Chapter 3: where the muffins are docked.

Chapter 3 of Genesis was all about Eve.

Martha & the Muffins dock in a harbour.

All About Eve - Martha's Harbour

8. Eat this while saying sorry to Aretha on her birthday.

When you're sorry, you eat Humble Pie.

Aretha was a Natural Woman. She was born on her birthday.

Humble Pie - Natural Born Boogie

7. Bourne gets burnt by harmless fibs.

I had a student called Jason Bourne. He disappeared under mysterious circumstances. Gone dark, obviously.

Jason & The Scorchers - White Lies

6. The second third Bond enjoys a peach. I-T.

Thank you Alyson for correcting my Bond-counting and reminding me about poor old George Lazenby who appears in my favourite Bond film... yet is probably my least favourite Bond actor. (Although the way Daniel Craig is going, it's like he's trying his best to win that crown.)

Anyway, Roger Moore + Peach Melba =

Melba Moore - This Is It

5. Ludo, Snakes & Ladders, Grand Theft Auto... G.I. Antarctica.

G.I. Joe. Antarctica is in the south.

Joe South - Games People Play

4. Pharmaceutical siblings dancing with dustbin lids.

Johnson & Johnson?

Stomp! is those dustbin lid dancers.

The Brothers Johnson - Stomp!

3. A hind trim for conditional joiners.

A hind trim is an anagram.

Tim Hardin - If I Were A Carpenter

2. William of Cumbria wastes electricity.

Bill in da Carlisle. See?

Belinda Carlisle - Leave A Light On

1. Sour-faced and cut adrift.

A lesser-known Lemonheads tune from their breakthrough album, It's A Shame About Ray, but it was one of my favourites back in the day...



Live Your Life Be Free until next Saturday morning when Saturday Snapshots returns.

Saturday Snapshots #77

Attention, Beautiful Losers and Ramblin', Gamblin' Men... it's that time of the week again. The time when Night Moves on a Saturday Snapshots come crashing down Like A Rock.

Identify ten artists and top tunes from the clues below... no Silver Bullets required.



10. Policewoman sees scarlet, burgundy and raspberry.

9. Genesis, Chapter 3: where the muffins are docked.

8. Eat this while saying sorry to Aretha on her birthday.

7. Bourne gets burnt by harmless fibs.

6. The second third Bond enjoys a peach. I-T.

5. Ludo, Snakes & Ladders, Grand Theft Auto... G.I. Antarctica.

4. Pharmaceutical siblings dancing with dustbin lids.

3. A hind trim for conditional joiners.

2. William of Cumbria wastes electricity.

1. Sour-faced and cut adrift.

Hopefully You'll Accomp'ny Me to the answers tomorrow morning. Until then... We've Got Tonight.

The United Kingdom of Song #24: Widnes

Today, we get off the train at Widnes in Cheshire, birthplace of Spice Girl Mel C and screenwriter Alan Bleasdale.

There are two notable songs in my collection which mention the town of Widnes...

Elvis Costello - Watch Your Step

Ev'ry day is full of fun and family spice

They're making heroes out of fall guys

They say it's good for business

From Singapore to Widnes

You better watch your step

Boy, Trust was a great album...

Belle & Sebastian - The Stars of Track & Field

You liberated

A boy I never rated

And now he's throwing discus

For Liverpool and Widnes

...and so is If You're Feeling Sinister, for that matter.

However, neither of these tunes wins the race today, because there is another, far more famous tune written in - and about - the town of Widnes, and we can find evidence of that on the railway station platform as we step off the train (unless it's been nicked again by musos).

That's some claim to fame, only slightly dulled by the fact that Simon himself would later acknowledge: "If you know Widnes, then you'll understand how I was desperately trying to get back to London as quickly as possible."

Neverending Top Ten #2.2: Kylie's Crush

This is one of Sam's favourite songs at the moment.

He doesn't know who Kylie is.

He doesn't know what a BMX is.

I doubt he even knows what a crush is.

But he loves singing along to the chorus, happily unaware that the song was written by Gerard Love of Teenage Fanclub or that Kurt Cobain once said, "If I could be in any other band, it would be BMX Bandits".

When I first heard this song, I wondered if the band had actually ever met Kylie. The answer to that can be found here.

Anyway, the point is, you don't need to know any of this stuff to enjoy a good pop song. Sam doesn't - and he loves it.

My Top Ten Scott Walker Songs

Reams will have been written over the past 48 hours about the importance of Scott Walker and his contribution to popular music. From my own perspective, Scott produced 4 peerless solo albums in the late 60s, often featuring what I consider to be the definitive versions of songs by Jacques Brel, but also a strong mix of his own compositions. These four albums played a strong part in the musical landscape of my 20s when my tastes began widening beyond the mainstream. Before that, he produced a run of classic hit singles with the Walker Brothers (not forgetting their 70s revival). After that, he went a bit weird. I tried with albums Tilt and The Drift, but ultimately found them hard going... a bit too experimental. I kept meaning to go back and give them another try, and maybe one day I will.

However, later in his career, when Walker was much in demand as a producer, he brought a glorious orchestral glow to one of my favourite albums of the noughties: We Love Life, the final album by Pulp. I reckon Jarvis owes a lot more than just that to Scott though.

Scott Walker was a classy gent, a unique vocalist, a reclusive figure of mystery and wonder. He could have been a much bigger pop star, but chose a different road. He'll live longer in our memories because of that.

Here are ten of my favourite Scott Walker performances...


10. Make It Easy On Yourself

Let's start with a little Bacharach & David shall we? And drench it in glorious despair...

9. It's Raining Today

Look up melancholy in the dictionary... and wait for the flourish of the string section just before the two minute mark. Classical composition tricks in a "pop" song... and lyrics that redefine heartbreak.

8. Mathilde

If I understood French, I may appreciate Brel's original versions more. I can listen to them and enjoy them, but the translated lyrics brings these tunes to life for me. That said, I still think Scott's performance and production heightens the drama and comedy of even the Brel originals. Walker +  Brel = wow.

7. Mrs. Murphy

A complete kitchen sink melodrama in under 4 minutes - performed with the conviction of an operatic aria. This was one of Scott's earliest compositions... and Jarvis was taking notes.

6. Montague Terrace (In Blue)

When he chose to write the tunes himself, Noel Scott Engel could give as good as Brel... or any of the other classic songwriters he chose to interpret. Lyrics such as these would only work with Scott Walker's utter conviction of delivery...

His bloated belching figure stomps
He may crash through the ceiling soon
The window sees trees cry from cold
And claw the moon

And then cue the orchestra!

5. Lights of Cincinatti

Sorry. Something in my eye. I bet Jimmy Webb liked this one.

4. If You Go Away

Brel rewritten by Rod McKuen. Recorded by Frank Sinatra, Shirley Bassey, Dusty Springfield, Tom Jones... but none of them know heartbreak like Scott does.

3. No Regrets

The Walker Brothers 70's comeback song. It was like Scott saying: look, I can still do hit records in my sleep. Now leave me alone!

But he had No Regrets...

2. Jackie

This could have been my Number One. Jacques Brel's finest - and funniest - composition given its definitive reading. Yes, the Marc Almond version is great, but I'm sure even Marc would agree that Scott had it nailed.

And if one day I should become
A singer with a Spanish bum
Who sings for women of great virtue
I'd sing to them with a guitar
I borrowed from a coffee bar
Well, what you don't know doesn't hurt you

1. The Sun Ain't Gonna Shine Anymore

The ultimate feel-good heartbreak song. Belt it out like you won't be here tomorrow... and always remember the Alan Rickman / Juliet Stevenson version.



I could easily have gone another ten. Which of your favourites have I missed out?

Hot 100 #47

My big plan of hosting installment #47 of this countdown on the date of my 47th birthday fell apart somewhat due to last week's lurgy... that'll teach me to try and make this blog appear organised. Oh well, I'm just about back in the land of the living today, so let's climb back on the horse.

Thanks for all the get well / birthday wishes in the meantime.

The logo at the top of the page comes from Indonesia metal Band AK47. It seemed an appropriate place to start since a couple of you suggested machine-gun related tunes, starting with Jim in Dubai who offered this interesting take on an old Buffalo Springfield number...

Oui 3 - For What It's Worth

Hold Your Fire Put Down Your Weapon, 

You'll Never Get to Heaven With An AK-47

C also dug out a couple of cool tunes referencing Rambo's favourite weapon, to wit...

Manic Street Preachers - Kevin Carter

Hi Time magazine, Hi Pulitzer Prize
Tribal scars in Technicolor
Bang bang, club AK 47 hour

Thievery Corporation - 33 Degree

Lethal make me lethal, I'm a weapon
Danger make me danger AK-47

Finally on the machine gun front, Martin offered this - always get extra points for a bit of Thea...

Thea Gilmore - Apparition No 12

And I caught the glimmer in a hurricanes eye I've seen these AK-47's with their noses to the sky  

Before all the bullets started flying, Lynchie was actually first in last time with this suggestion...

Bo Diddley - Who Do You Love? has to be a contender:

I walk 47 miles of barbed wire
I use a cobra-snake for a necktie
I got a brand new house on the roadside
Made from rattlesnake hide
I got a brand new chimney made on top
Made out of a human skull
Now come on take a walk with me, arlene
And tell me, who do you love?

Phew - you'd almost be better off taking your chances with a machine gun. Rigid Digit also suggested versions of this song by George Thorogood, Quicksilver Messenger Service, The Band and Jesus & Mary Chain. You can google those yourself though.

The Swede, bereft of Dylan this week, offered this...

June Richmond - 47th Street Jive... and what a great little clip I just found for it.

Martin came up with a few more great suggestions this week too...

Ben Folds Five - One Angry Dwarf and 200 Solemn Faces

September '75 I was 47 inches high

(One of my favourites, that!)

Elton John - Island Girl

I see your teeth flash, Jamaican honey so sweet, 

Down where Lexington cross 47th Street

They Might Be Giants - Till My Head Falls Off

There were 87 Advil in the bottle now there's 30 left. 

I ate 47 so what happened to the other 10?

Kate Bush - 50 Words For Snow which, frankly, could feature here every week from now on...

Yeah, but to save me the effort, I might draw a line under that one now.

Finally, our Canadian correspondent (and fellow 47 year old), Douglas McLaren, suggested two more lyrical 47s. First this...

Nick Lowe - Born Fighter

Shoe shopping, lapping up the grooms and uppers
I don't want to have to get
Another pair of hush puppies
I keep on looking at 47-each
But one day, I'll be laughing
With the lizards on my feet

And then this, to which George remarked "there are some truly terrible songs that you could post, probably none worse than..."

Genesis - Aisle of Plenty

Discount groceries ahoy!

My own record collection threw up a few other suggestions this week, namely these...

Mark Kozelek - Metropol 47

Dwight Twilley - 47 Moons

But the one I went with in the end was this lovely Guy Clark song, also covered by Johnny Cash on the album Look At Them Beans, which surely deserves a cover shot here...

Time was I had a rule about not posting songs with years in them, but surely we've all forgotten that rule by now?


Some of you might expect Toots & The Maytals to make a return appearance next week, but I'm afraid I can't let the same song win two different numbers. Fortunately I have another strong contender for 46 in mind... you might have others. Feel free to throw them my way.

Saturday Snapshots #76 - The Answers

You know that it would be untrue. You know that I would be a liar. If I were to say to you... I can't remember the answers to this week's Saturday Snapshots. Although, I did have to puzzle over some of them myself this week: I blame to post-viral lethargy. Or maybe they were particularly fiendish.

Mathematics proves impossible when your head is full of gunge, so I can't work out a winner this week, though everyone had a good go. Thanks for playing as always.


10. Pork from the top of the world leads you into a talent competition.

Far North Ham? Far N Ham?

There's no pleasing some people.

John Farnham - You're The Voice

9. Count down four places to discover Barbie takes 1000 heavy swings to get round the golf course.

Dolly's par is a ton, see? Easy when you know how.

Dolly Parton - 9 To 5

8. Climbing beanstalks after 10 leads to a sad, horny godson.

After 10 is 11, so that would make him Jack 11. If you're going to tell me it's pronounced Lee-ven, I'm going to say: it's a visual pun, not an auditory one.

Jackie Leven - The Sexual Loneliness Of Jesus Christ

7. Gracie's singular song is a let down.

Gracie Fields. In the singular would be Field. A song is music.

Field Music - Disappointed

6. Clock - e = belt fastener + y. Bluebottle.

Time - e = Tim. Buckle + y = Buckley.

Tim Buckley - Buzzin' Fly

5. Neon Robert, cured, follows Duran Duran to the sand.

The chemical symbol for neon is Ne. Add Robert Smith.

Mike Nesmith - Rio 

(Far superior to the Duran Duran song.)

4. Sweet on your tongue, a dancing football chant.

At football matches they (apparently) shout "Oggy Oggy Oggy". This is one of the many reasons I do not attend football matches.

The extra clue I gave involved a line from Smokey Robinson's I Second That Emotion, in which Smokey sings "A taste of honey is worse than none at all".

A Taste of Honey - Boogie Oogie Oogie

3. Found in a sound gallery, where Black Sabbath meets Woody's ex. (Low bridge not pictured.)

Art of Noise would be found in a sound gallery.

Black Sabbath sang Paranoid.

Woody Allen's ex is Mia Farrow.

The low bridge, not pictured, was this virtual gentleman, who provided the vocals to this odd 80s novelty tune...

Art of Noise (featuring Max Headroom) - Paranoimia

2. Wet Wet Wet, Heaven 17 and Elvis Costello can't tell the difference between rugby, soccer and ten pin bowling.

Wet Wet Wet, Heaven 17 and Elvis Costello all sang about Temptation.

The Temptations - Ball Of Confusion

1. Solipsistic gangsters don't wake up.

Solipsistic gangsters would say "I Am The Mob" since they would believe that only the self exists and thereby not believe in any other gangsters. Which then begs the question why they would need to be gangsters in the first place, and that is today's homework.

Anyway, if they couldn't wake up, they may be catatonic.

Ah, Cerys, were we ever that young?




This Is The End, Beautiful Friend... at least until next Saturday.

Saturday Snapshots #76

This ain't no country club
And it ain't no disco
This is Saturday Snapshots, and if all you wanna do is have a little fun before you die... well, you came to the right place.

Identify ten artists and ten top tunes from the clues below, please... but only If It Makes You Happy.


10. Pork from the top of the world leads you into a talent competition.

9. Count down four places to discover Barbie takes 1000 heavy swings to get round the golf course.

8. Climbing beanstalks after 10 leads to a sad, horny godson.

7. Gracie's singular song is a let down.

6. Clock - e = belt fastener + y. Bluebottle.

5. Neon Robert, cured, follows Duran Duran to the sand.

4. Sweet on your tongue, a dancing football chant.

3. Found in a sound gallery, where Black Sabbath meets Woody's ex. (Low bridge not pictured.)

2. Wet Wet Wet, Heaven 17 and Elvis Costello can't tell the difference between rugby, soccer and ten pin bowling.

1. Solipsistic gangsters don't wake up.

Everyday Is A Winding Road leading us to the answers, tomorrow morning.