Sunday, 10 November 2013

My Top Ten Don't Cry Songs

Sam isn't a bad kid when it comes to crying. I've heard tell of babies who are much, much worse. But there are times... times when nothing we do will soothe him, when we feel that crushing mix of frustration, guilt and pain which every parent must grow to understand. Still, music has powers to soothe the savage beast, to paraphrase William... Congreve. (Yeah, I thought it was Shakey, too.) Here's ten tunes to do just that...

10. Oasis - Stop Crying Your Heart Out

Every time I include an Oasis song in a Top Ten, an angel loses its wings. This is one of those rare compositions from the monobrowed chuckle brothers that doesn't annoy the jogging bottoms off me. Still... sorry, seraphim.

9. Elkie Brooks - Don't Cry Out Loud

A hit in the US for Melissa Manchester (it was written by Peter Allen and Carole Bayer-Sager), but Elkie's UK hit is a little less Streisand. 

8. Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons - Big Girls Don't Cry

Silly boys...

7. The Streets - Dry Your Eyes

I really shouldn't dig Mike Skinner's soppy Ray Winstone Jr. routine... And yet...

6. Guns 'n' Roses - Don't Cry

Never ones to do things by halves, GnR actually released two different versions of this song (the lyrics of the verses were entirely different) as part of the mammoth double album exercise in self-destruction that was Use Your Illusion. This is the alternate version. If you're sad, like me, you might want to compare the two. They blew the video budget on the first version though.

5. Richard Hawley - Don't You Cry

 Epic (10 & 1/2 minutes) sadness from the Sheffield Sinatra.

4. The Pretenders - Stop Your Sobbing

Written by Ray Davies (Chrissie Hynde's boyfriend at the time - what a cradle snatcher!) and originally recorded by The Kinks... though the Pretenders made it their own with a little new wave bite. Their debut single - hard to believe it only reached #34 in the charts.

3. Spiritualized - Stop Your Crying

Phil Spector has a lot to answer for.

"Orchestra? Check. Choir? Check. Gratuitous destruction of musical instruments? Check. Kitchen sink? Where's that bloody kitchen sink!?"

2. The Cure - Boys Don't Cry

So, tell me, Mad Bob McMad, why exactly don't boys cry? It can't be for fear of making their eyeliner run...

1. INXS - Baby Don't Cry

Probably my favourite INXS song, a joyously anthemic pop cookie. What U2 might sound like if Bono wasn't such an utter knob.

Which one stops your sobbing?


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