Here's a man who knows a thing or two about making hit records... unfortunately.
I think it's fair to say that all these songs are better than anything Simon Cowell ever had a hand in... but that's just, like, my opinion, man.
10. Pinball champion becomes Superman.
Tommy was the pinball wizard... Superman is the Man of Steel.
9. He's a pro trembler...
"A pro trembler" was an anagram...
When I make my Top 40
Smash hit
Rock ‘n’ roll record
Everything’s gonna be just fine
8. Short-lived fellas.
They were all done in a minute.
7. Sexy sandwich fish.
Wow, that's some hot tuna!
6. Fired The Gun in a Three Man Army.
He was in The Gun, and one man in the Three Man Army. But he'll most be remembered (in dodgy easy listening circles) for penning this badly-rhyming "classic"...
My first boss hated that song with a passion. "Classic does not rhyme with attic!" he used to scream. Ah, the good old days...
5. Piper known for luck and law.
Peter Piper has Murphy's Luck and suffers Murphy's Law.
4. She was an O, and smelled of an Irish river.
Jackie was an O, as in Eau d'Shannon... it's all there if you think about it.
Jackie DeShannon - (If You Never Have a Big Hit Record) You’re Still Gonna Be My Star
3. Regional Intelligence Liaison Offices that you can't get out of your head.
The Regional Intelligence Liaison Offices are known as RILO (google it if you don't believe me). Kyle can't get you out of her head.
2. The prettiest pole, according to penguins.
Penguins live at the Beautiful South Pole.
The Beautiful South - Song For Whoever
And I love the PRS cheques that you bring...
Still one of the greatest lines ever written.
1. The awards nobody in Hollywood wants.
Nobody wants a Razzie...
The Raspberries - Overnight Sensation (Hit Record)
Thanks for playing. More hits (and misses) next Saturday...
