There are certain celebrities who are arguably more famous for the song they appear in than for their own career. I'm not sure Bette Davis is quite there yet, but all it'll take is Rhianna or Adele doing a cover of that Kim Carnes song and it'll be Whatever Happened To Bette D? Bela Lugosi, on the other hand, is surely known by more people now because of the Halloween favourite by Bauhaus than for any of his classic horror film performances.
The internet tells me "Bauhaus bass player David J wrote this song's lyric after bingeing on vampire movies that were showing on TV in England (this was before Netflix)", which is the kind of quote that makes me want to punch all Millennials in the face. Imagine true horror - "a world before Netflix"!
White on white translucent black capes
Back on the rack
Bela Lugosi's dead
The bats have left the bell tower
The victims have been bled
Red velvet lines the black box
Bela Lugosi's dead
Undead undead undead
The virginal brides file past his tomb
Strewn with time's dead flowers
Bereft in deathly bloom
Alone in a darkened room
The Count
Bela Logosi's dead
Undead undead undead
Bela Lugosi's Dead has been covered by a list of obvious suspects, including The Damned and Nine Inch Nails, but by far the best alternative version is this...
David J returned to the track himself in 2013 for a completely different take...
The song is considered the first Goth rock record (and my amazing powers of precognition tell me it'll be Number One in the No Badger Required "Goth! Show Me Magic" countdown which ends this morning). As such it gets its own references in the following tunes...
Tried to sing Bela Lugosi's dead
But all the blood was rushing to my head
You said life is a lie
As you laid down on the bed
Then you started to cry
And sang Bela Lugosi's dead
That's a song which warns of the dangers of taking a Goth home for a one night stand...
You left black lipstick
Black lipstick on my sheets
Don't say you weren't warned. For an alternative point of view, you might consider this...
I'm Bela Lugosi baby,
I'm your Vincent Price
Well, If I bite u once, girl,
I've got to bite u twice
One more song that references the Bauhaus tune...
You'll have to listen to that one yourself if you want the reference because, "This artist does not want the lyrics to this song be posted on the internet."
And while this one doesn't mention Bauhaus directly, I reckon they had it on repeat in the studio...
Onto more direct Bela Lugosi mentions. Let's start with Ray...
You can see all the stars as you walk down Hollywood Boulevard
Some that you recognize, some that you've hardly even heard of
People who worked and suffered and struggled for fame
Some who succeeded and some who suffered in vain
Rudolph Valentino looks very much alive
And he looks up ladies dresses as they sadly pass him by
Avoid stepping on Bela Lugosi
'Cause he's liable to turn and bite
But stand close by Bette Davis
Because hers was such a lonely life
Bela Lugosi's story is a tragic one, plagued by type casting, dwindling fame, alcoholism and drug addiction. If you've seen the movie Ed Wood, you'll remember Martin Landau's stand out performance as a latter day Lugosi. I can't help but think of that when I listen to the song above. Speaking of Ed Wood, Bela also makes a cameo appearance in this slice of glorious nonsense...
Where to go from there? How about Noddy...?
Ohhhh I wanna be Bela Lugosi
And the Marx Brothers rolled into one
Well baby baby baby believe me,
I'm solid gone
Or you could imagine chatting up a Bela Lugosi lookalike in your local...
We watched each other closely
She looks like Bela Lugosi
She asked me for a ride home
I felt around for my comb
She lived down by the river
A flat the council give her
Wallpaper very scenic
Her outlook very beatnik
Here's Brian Wilson's mate, with some lyrics I can't quite make out (though I disagree with what the interweb thinks they are) although they do namedrop Bela alongside Bing Crosby and Mae West...
While you try and decipher that, here's former High Jump Champion Amber Bollinger and her band...
I'm on my back like a beetle
Can't turn me on
It's an erotic kinda seething
This ain't a dance it's a full time Bela Lugosi
And if that wasn't scary enough, try some Curtiss Tigers...
Bela Lugosi
And Boris Karloff too
Make such strange bedfellows
But how to they know you
How about some Spiders Dressed In Red? (If it's good enough for Peter Parker, it's good enough for me.)
Or you might prefer some Drag-ula?
Meanwhile, in Paisley, our old pal Momus is pondering biting the dust...
Death will be unlike the charge of the Light Brigade
Alfred Lord Tennyson rhymed
Death will be unlike the thin piece of paper
That Reagan and Gorbachev sign
Death will be unlike the night thoughts of 'Late Call'
When ministers stop being cosy
Death will be unlike 'The Pit and the Pendulum'
Co-starring Bela Lugosi
I'll be honest: there were so many songs that referenced Bela Lugosi, I started to wonder what death would be like when faced with the prospect of listening to them all. So I gave up. But not before I'd discovered this glorious artefact from Malcolm Tucker and the Twelfth Doctor Who, Peter Capaldi, back when he was just a young lad in a post-punk band...
