Celebrity Jukebox #41: John Cleese

Basil Fawlty remains, for me at least, one of the greatest comedy creations ever. I think it’s fair to say there’s quite a lot of John Cleese in Basil, seeing as every other role he plays is a variation on that theme. With all due respect to Michael Palin, Cleese will always be my favourite Python… and my favourite Python sketch will always be The Argument Clinic. I’ve used it throughout my teaching career to teaching Writing To Argue, and it never fails to raise a smile with students of all ages.

John Cleese crops up in a surprising amount of rap lyrics, either due to an innuendo based on pythons or a reference to walking funny… sometimes they even manage to link those two ideas together. Isn’t that clever?

The final track on Alan Parsons’ 2004 album, A Valid Path, is called Chomolungma, which is the original Tibetan name of Mount Everest, meaning “Goddess Mother of Mountains”. The bloody British changed its name to Everest after George Everest, Surveyor General of India from 1830 to 1843, a man who never actually set eyes on Everest and apparently objected to the name change because he thought the locals would struggle to pronounce it. Don't mention the Empire!

Parson’s Chomolungma is a 6 minute plus instrumental which closes with a monologue from John Cleese in which he berates the musician for “these strange... rambling expirations of your own conscious...” It’s an amusingly self-deprecating way to close a record.

Alan Parsons – Chomolungma 

On the titles front, John Cleese pops up here…

John Tabacco & Peter Kearns – Look Out For John Cleese

…and here…

I Set My Friends On Fire – Reese’s Pieces, I Don’t Know WhoJohn Cleese Is?

…but neither of them really do much for me. Then again, what was I expecting from a song with John Cleese in the title? Sydney Opera House, perhaps? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeests sweeping majestically across the plains?

Lets go lyrical instead. Here’s one of Norway’s most successful musicians…

Morten Abel – Dude Of All Dudes

Look at the bright stars and the full moon
A yellow cheese
Look at the gentleman in the saloon
Looks like John Cleese
Chris Martin is eating his hat right now.

From Norway to Leeds, where we find Basil Fawlty name-dropped by the Eureka Machines. Lead machine Chris Catalyst has played guitar with the Sisters of Mercy (albeit not in their heyday, as he was only born in 1980), Terrorvision and Those God Damn Whores (you’ve probably heard them on Steve Wright’s Sunday Love Songs), among others.

Eureka Machines – Champion The Underdog

Here’s the heroes that we’re used to: Basil Fawlty and Monty Brewster.
John Peel, Jilted John, Joan Jett and John Lennon.
M.E.S. and Easy-E, and Joey, Johnny, Dee Dee, Tommy.
Ken The Red and Edwards, Ed and Dibnah, Fred.

We’re sure to return to that when the Celebrity Jukebox celebrates my dad’s old steeplejack mate, Fred Dibnah.

Meanwhile, in Nottingham… it’s time to get sincere.

Lux Lisbon – Show Me The Money

I say this with sincerity
Because it's what I believe
The greatest man who ever lived was John Cleese
Cos everyone needs therapy
For believing in solemnity
And now this is a call: reality is too full
And I can’t really argue with any of that. Sincerely.

Cuddle that, and you'd never play the guitar again!

Finally, we arrive in Hull, for one of the Beautiful South’s lowest charting singles. Ironically, it was the follow-up to their biggest hit, A Little Time, which went to the top of the charts in 1990 (32 years ago, just sayin’). I think the lyrics were just a little too out there for radio to embrace, but I always loved it… maybe because it’s a song about relishing being a failure.

This is my life and this is how it reads
A documentary that nobody believes
Albert Steptoe in Gone With The Breeze
Mother played by Peter Beardsley, father by John Cleese

The Beautiful South were also sued by Soul II Soul for parodying their "Back to life, back to reality" chorus as "Back to bed, back to reality" in this song. Incredibly, Soul II Soul won. Which made me hate them a little more. Because it was a joke. I thought parody was exempt from copyright. I mean, Weird Al would have been in Alcatraz by now. I'm sure Basil would have something to say about that...

Snapshots #261: A Top Ten African Country Songs

Ten songs out of Africa. Or named after African countries. That was harder to put together than I thought it would be...

10. Sneaky wet, sweaty Ken.

Anagrams!

Kanye West - Diamonds From Sierra Leone

9. Found in cowpat ticks and enthusiasm, it hurts.

Found in cowPAT TIcks and enthusiaSM, IT Hurts.

Patti Smith - Radio Ethiopia

8. Grace, Gloria and Rickie Lee, perhaps.

The Jones Girls - Nights Over Egypt

7. 10th, twice, 50 years ago.

The 10th letter of the alphabet is J. 1972 was 50 years ago, as I'm only too painfully aware.

JJ72 - Algeria

6. Hope for Thomas.

Bob Hope for Dylan Thomas.

Bob Dylan - Mozambique

5. Saved from the noose.

The Men They Couldn't Hang - A Map of Morocco

4. Goes before sharks.

Great White - Congo Square

3. Lewis drives toward smelly, yet divine, comedian.

Lewis Hamilton + BO + (Neil) Hannon...

Hamilton Bohannan - South African Man

2. Giant steps are what he'll take...

...if he wants to walk on the moon, or moonwalk, when he grows up.

Michael Jackson - Liberian Girl

1. Shaikh Wham, shaken. 

Shaikh Wham, unshaken, is...

Hamish Hawk - The Mauritian Badminton Doubles Champion, 1973

Don't be lion about next Saturday morning - Snapshots will back back, 8.30 sharp.

Saturday Snapshots #261

Beverly Hills Cop a load of this! It's only this week's Saturday Snapshots, coming to America (if Brian hasn't gone to bed yet) and the rest of the world NOW!

Identify the ten artists below, then work out what connects their songs...

10. Sneaky wet, sweaty Ken.

9. Found in cowpat ticks and enthusiasm, it hurts.

8. Grace, Gloria and Rickie Lee, perhaps.

7. 10th, twice, 50 years ago.

6. Hope for Thomas.

5. Saved from the noose.

4. Goes before sharks.

3. Lewis drives toward smelly, yet divine, comedian.

2. Giant steps are what he'll take...

1. Shaikh Wham, shaken. 

Warning: you don't have 48 Hours to solve this... just 24. Answers tomorrow morning!

Celebrity Jukebox #40: Loretta Lynn

Country must be the second most self-referential genre in all of popular music. Only rap likes to talk about itself and name-drop other noteworthy practitioners of the artform more than country… the difference being that such references are largely positive in country, whereas rappers do like to slag each other off any chance they get.

With that in mind, I’m not going to pretend to have listened to every song that mentions Loretta Lynn in passing. She was a legend, and an inspiration, so it’s only right she be immortalised in many, many tunes. Here are just a handful… and they're not all straight down the line country songs either.

Carly Pearce – Dear Miss Loretta

I ain’t a coal miner’s daughter
But I’ve sung it all my life
I ain’t been a widow
But I’ve been an ex-wife
And I hear your truth
And I feel your pain
Now I know why you sang that way

Angelica Garcia – Loretta Lynn

Me and Loretta, Loretta Lynn
Black coffee and cinnamon
The price of gin beats rememberin'
How did we not see this comin' from him?

Josh Turner – Loretta Lynn’s Lincoln

Like any other would be country singing sensation
I had no visible means of transportation
One Saturday morning I was searching the ads
When I found one that I wanted and I wanted it bad
 
I called up the salesmen, he said, c'mon in
I've got the Lincoln right here belonged to Loretta Lynn
The Coal Miner's Daughter used to drive it to town
It's yours for a song and five hundred down

Johnny Gates – Loretta Lynn

Oh my sweetheart where you been
Cuz I miss you like the radio misses Loretta Lynn

Sheryl Crow – Woman In The White House

Don't you think it's time we put a woman in the White House
With a whole new attitude?
Just look at the mess we're in
Heck, I'd vote for Loretta Lynn
I guarantee that we'd all be
Singing a different song

Nanci Griffith – Listen To The Radio

I am leaving Mississippi in the evening rain
These Delta towns wear satin gowns
In a high beamed frame
Loretta Lynn guides my hands through the radio
Where would I be in times like these
Without the songs Loretta wrote?

Lucinda Williams – Car Wheels On A Gravel Road

Sittin' in the kitchen, a house in Macon
Loretta's singing on the radio
Smell of coffee, eggs, and bacon
Car wheels on a gravel road

As I said at the top, I could be here all day. Perhaps only Hank Williams and Johnny Cash get name-checked in more country songs than Loretta. And here she is with Johnny, in one of my favourites.

When Loretta Lynn goes dancing
With the ghost of Johnny Cash
Father Time takes forever
And to make it look like less than lightning flash
Violins bow into fiddles
Two iconic symbols crash
When Loretta Lynn goes dancing
With the ghost of Johnny Cash

Grumpy Old Men Songs #21: Happiness Is It

This is not Justin Currie’s first appearance as a Grumpy Old Man on this blog. I doubt it will be his last. From Nothing Ever Happens to No, Surrender, he’s consistently been near the top of the Grumpy Old Pops throughout his career.

Following on from last year’s excellent Del Amitri comeback album, Fatal Mistakes, the band have released a supplementary collection of Outtakes & B-Sides, many of which are strong enough to have been included on the album itself… though I’m glad they did it this way, rather than going down the dreaded Double Album route. Anyway, among this collection is perhaps the happiest grumpiest song Mr. Currie has penned to date. In these days of war, pestilence and incompetent politicians, this is two and a bit minutes of pure misanthropy that cheers me up greatly...

I'm gonna sing a happy song (everything is dying)
So kick your feet and clap along (we're all going to hell)
I'm gonna sing a happy song
Throw it on the heap of shit you're choking on
To the ever-growing hill of junk
I'm gonna add another one
 
I'm gonna let rip a whoop of joy (everything is burning)
C'mon kill a girl, rape a boy (we're all going to hell)
I'm gonna sing a happy song
Don't give a fuck if you don't sing along
Next year this will all be gone
So hit the pedal bring it on
 
Hurry up don't be late, the suicides start at eight
Last one alive can take some pride
In seeing the last one die
 
I'm gonna sing a happy song (everything is dying)
Happiness keeps us strong (we're all going to hell)
I'm gonna sing a happy song
Till my eyes bleed and hair is gone
Main thing is to carry on into the pit
Cos happiness is it