Continued due to popular demand... and because I haven't had time to write anything else for today...
My first date then, was with a traffic girl. Now, immediately, if you've never worked in radio, you've probably got the wrong end of the stick. When you think of the word "traffic" in relation to the wireless, you probably think of traffic and travel reports, which are the bread and butter of local radio in terms of clinging onto listeners. But traffic also has another meaning in radio - "commercial trafficking" - specifically the scheduling of adverts and promotional material throughout the day to meet the needs of advertisers (who, for example, will pay more to have their ads played at peak times such as breakfast and evening drive) and also avoid embarrassing clashes (such as having the ads of two competing double-glazing companies run back-to-back in the same break).
Those (three) of you who are following this series with interest may remember that by this time I was finally getting paid to work in radio, and the money came from sitting in the studio and sorting out split ad breaks for the presenters. It would also involve liaising with the Commercial Traffic department to sort out any problems with those breaks. And occasionally, it would involve popping into the Comprod (Commercial Production) studio to get carts repaired... which involved approaching one of the most grumpiest and surliest men in the building... who would later become one of my best friends in the industry. (A good job, as I ended up working in Comprod myself for many years. Ironically, we were both made redundant at the same time. I'm a teacher now, he's a trolley dolly - his term! - with a large airline. Time may change us, but we can't change time.)
The welcome I received in Traffic was much warmer than the one I received in Comprod though, particularly from one of the two young ladies who worked in there. She was also the one who brought us the new ad log in at the end of the day and I started to make a point of nipping out into the corridor at roughly the time she did this so I could "bump into her" and exchange a pleasant chat with a pretty girl. (I wonder if in this day and age this would be considered "stalking"... and I'm reminded of Alyson's story of how she contrived a similar meeting with the man she ended up marrying... but I do hope not. That kind of behaviour is a minefield though, and I'm glad it's a minefield I don't have to lose limbs to on a regular basis any more.)
As the lady in question seemed more than happy to smile and chat (dare I say 'flirt'?) with me, soon enough the inevitable happened. I was smitten.
There were only two problems:
1) My inexperience in the dating arena and intrinsic low self-esteem (masked, as always, by sarcasm and self-deprecating wit).
2) She had a boyfriend.
2.1) And not just any boyfriend.
2.2) He was a jock at the station.
2.3) He was also (subjective opinion) a bit of a dick.
To be continued...
28. Elvis Costello - Radio Sweetheart
Not the first radio song most people will think of when they consider Mr. Costello, but I'm saving the more obvious one for a very specific story later in the series, the tale of how I almost got fired because of Robbie Williams.
Radio Sweetheart was originally recorded by a pre-Attractions Elvis Costello and released as the b-side of his debut single, Less Than Zero. His backing band at the time was made up of members of the American group Clover - some of whom would go on to join Huey Lewis's News (Huey was also a member of Clover but didn't work with Elvis here). Others went on to join the Doobie Brothers and Tommy Tutone. This song has become a fan favourite and has been included as a bonus track on the many re-issues of Elvis's debut album, My Aim Is True. To me, it has a country vibe which lays the way for his later album, Almost Blue (a live version is also included on my reissue of that album).
We lost a true genius yesterday. And I don't mean Jim Bowen. (Still, RIP, Jim. Any other day, I might have done a Bullseye Top Ten.)
I don't pretend to understand most of what Professor Stephen Hawkings wrote... but I'm glad he was writing it. Here are ten songs to mark his passing...
The theme tune to the sitcom The Big Bang Theory seems an appropriate track to begin with... especially since Stephen Hawking was a guest star on that show.
Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started, wait The earth began to cool, the autotrophs began to drool Neanderthals developed tools We built a wall (we built the pyramids) Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries That all started with the big bang! Hey!
Personally, I think this is as close as the Manics ever got to writing a nonsense song. Professor Hawking was renowned for his sense of humour though, so he'd probably appreciate that.
Overjoyed, me and Stephen Hawking, we laugh We missed the sex revolution When we failed the physical
For a time, some people believed that the robotic vocals on this track from OK Computer(scientifically proven to be Radiohead's best album) were delivered by Stephen Hawking himself. Others believed it was just Thom Yorke speaking through a voice synthesizer to make him sound a little warmer and more human than usual. Turns out the former is closer to the truth: the vocals were actually delivered by Fred Cooper, the man who gave voice to Apple's voice synthesizing programme... the one that became most famous as the voice of Professor Hawking.
1. Soundgarden - Black Hole Sun
The first song that occurred to me when I thought about doing this Top Ten is probably the one that has least to do with Professor Stephen Hawking... but it's still a tremendous noise.
Provide A Brief History of Your Suggestions in the comments, please.
It's been a while since I did one of these, mainly because they take more time than other posts to get right, but also because I knew this next chapter would be a tricky one.
Workplace relationships / "romances" are unavoidable, I guess. I had three (plus a few near misses) during the time I worked in radio, but this is the only one I'm going to write about. The others... well, one was sweet but tragic (for me), the other was insane. Truly, truly insane. In that if I began to write about it, you would not believe me. And if I told you the story of how it ended, you would call me a liar. If I wrote it up as a film script, it would be rejected for being too far fetched. Sometimes truth is way, way weirder than fiction. Sorry to be a tease, but that's the truth.
Writing about relationships also involves breaking confidences: sharing details that others would probably not wish to be made public... even in a forum with as limited a readership as this. And, of course, it's deeply subjective. So I won't be doing it. I make an exception here because it's such a slight thing that probably meant very little to the other party involved... even though it was quite significant to me. Because it involves my first ever date...
I never went out with anyone in High School, nor in the Sixth Form. All my friends had had relationships of one kind or another by the time they finished their A Levels, but I never had the self-confidence to make the first move and usually ended up fancying people who wouldn't have been seen dead out in public with a loser like me. (The closest I got to asking a girl out - and I really thought she liked me - was getting my best friend to sound her out. He worded it rather badly though and it turned out she thought he was the one doing the asking... which she'd have been more than up for. He wasn't though, and that just left three people feeling uncomfortable, rather than the usual two. I wouldn't recommend it as an approach strategy.)
Look at that - four paragraphs and I haven't even got to the story. I'm sure I can string this one out over multiple posts, if only so I can link to more Radio Romance songs. Like this one from Tiffany... erm, I mean, Joni...
27. Joni Mitchell - You Turn Me On, I'm A Radio
The A&R man said he didn't hear a single when it came to Joni's fifth album, For The Roses, so Joni did what Bruce did on Dancing In The Dark and wrote a song about being told to write a hit. On the surface, this is a love song, and Joni was hip to the fact that radio stations jump at the chance to play songs that celebrate their medium... but it also manages the neat trick of simultaneously praising radio while also being cryptically critical of it at the same time. Pretty clever...
Waving for you Broadcasting tower Waving for you And I'm sending you out This signal here I hope you can pick it up Loud and clear
I know you don't like weak women
You get bored so quick And you don't like strong women 'Cause they're hip to your tricks It's been dirty for dirty Down the line
But you know
I come when you whistle When you're loving and kind If you've got too many doubts If there's no good reception for me Then tune me out, 'cause honey
Who needs the static?
It hurts the head And you wind up cracking And the day goes dismal From "Breakfast Barney" To the sign-off prayer
And it worked too, giving Joni her first Top Ten single in her native Canada and her first Top 40 in the U.S. See: writing about radio is all you need to do to be a success!
93 'til Infinity was the debut album of the band Souls of Mischief... apparently. And number 93 proved tricky for all of us.
Alyson & Chris both came up with 93 Million Miles by Jason Mraz, an artist who does live in my record collection, but not with this song. I guess it's got something to do with how far away we are from the sun.
Charity Chic offered 93 Degrees In The Shade by Third World, which would have been a pretty good call if I'd owned it. Or if anyone else did, since it turns out the song is actually called 96 Degrees In The Shade. Sorry, CC!
Nobody came up with either of the two 93 songs I do have in my collection though.
I originally thought Do It! 93 by Death From Above might be something to do with the year it was recorded... until my research showed the band (originally called Death From Above 1979, just to confuse matters further) wasn't formed until 2001.
This week's winner though is this... from the charming Sweet Baboo, aka Gwynedd's Stephen Black. The version in my music collection is called Wolfie 93, and if the story Stephen tells in the video is anything to go by, I don't think 1993 has anything to do with it, since he can't have been very old in that year at all. No idea why it is called Wolfie 93 though...
Now... some of you have already given up on 92, but I do have a couple of options to choose from. Any guesses?
