Teacher Songs #8: The Return Of Mrs. Tebb

I've written about Mrs. Tebb before.

She was the primary teacher, you may recall, who insisted I drink my free school milk even when I told her I didn't drink milk because it made me throw up. And Mrs. Kaye never made me drink it last year! "Drink your milk," ordered Mrs. Tebb. 

So I did. And I threw up.

The Beach Boys - Be True To Your School 

Maybe this set the tone of our relationship and explained why Mrs. Tebb didn't like me for the rest of the year. She thought she knew better than a 7 year old, but actually... guess what, Mrs. Tebb... sometimes you don't.

The Lemon Twigs - The Student Becomes The Teacher

Then last week, while discussing knocking down walls in Emergency Questions, Alyson jogged my memory about another incident - one in which I was far more culpable - which cemented the animosity Mrs. Tebb felt towards me. The time I pushed Andrew Lodge through the classroom wall.

I'm pretty sure it was Andrew Lodge, but I might be wrong about that. Either way, my apologies to him. And my apologies for the time that he attended my birthday party and I threw a dart in his eye, almost blinding him. Believe it or not, Andrew Lodge was a good mate of mine in junior school. But these things happened. 

Supertramp - School

Mrs. Tebb didn't have a classroom in the main school. She taught her class in a portacabin out in the school garden. It was a very nice portacabin in a very nice garden (we had school chickens too, provided by my mate Simon, whose dad was a chicken farmer). Far be it from me to suggest that the Head had arranged it that way to keep Mrs. Tebb away from Gen-Pop... or the other teachers... but if he had done that, I could easily understand why.

Jim Bob - The School Is Not The Building (It's The Children)

Anyway, as you entered the portacabin, there was a small cloak room, then a door that led into the main classroom. One morning, I was messing around with Andrew Lodge (or someone else whose name has been lost to antiquity, but Andrew Lodge is taking his place), playfighting, and... y'know, I had a bit of a temper when I was a kid, and maybe things got a bit out of hand... so I pushed Andrew Lodge straight through the cloakroom wall (which to be fair, was obviously made of an amalgam of tissue paper and spit) and into Mrs. Tebb's store-room. 

Looking back, I'm starting to understand why Mrs. Tebb didn't like me. She was never going to teach me love, to quote Rockpile...

Namesakes #142: The Strokes

As actor, songwriter and game-show* host Alan Thicke once put it...

(*Not to mention being the father of that doofus Robin. He must be so proud.)

Now, the world don't move to the beat of just one drum
What might be right for you, may not be right for some
A man is born, he's a man of means
Then along come two, they got nothing but their jeans

But they got, Diff'rent Strokes
It takes, Diff'rent Strokes
It takes, Diff'rent Strokes to move the world

Yes, Alan was the man behind the theme tune to popular 80s sitcom Diff'rent Strokes. You know the one...

Whatcha talkin' 'bout, Willis?

And what Alan said was very true. But which of these diff'rent Strokes will rule your world? There's not many to choose from, but after last week's Odyssey epic, I figured I'd give you a break...

THE STROKES #1

I lament the fact that I can't find audio for our first Strokes and their 1979 single I Am A Plastic Carrier Bag... though I did find the lyrics, above. Sing them out loud and imagine what the tune went like. Or buy a copy of the 7" for £171 on discogs. One reviewer who has it heard tells us, "this seems like the cigarette ash of studio musicians rather than the fire and brimstone of underground visionaries."

The Strokes - I Am A Plastic Carrier Bag

STROKES #2

Tennessee's Vinny DeGeorge formed a band called Strokes in 1981. They started recording an album in New York, but only two songs were finished before their producer died. DeGeorge would go on to front a number of other bands, including Technical Difficulty, Jambox and Starfighter... he also wrote the music for a horror film called Night of the Living Dean (sic). And he's still gigging today, folks. 

Strokes - Nuclear Power Man

THE STROKES #3

The Strokes most people know, New York post-punk revivalists Julian Casablancas, Albert Hammond Jr., Nick Valensi, Nikolai Fraiture, and Fabrizio Moretti. They got together in 1998, and their first EP led to a frantic bidding war among record companies. I hope the boys made a penny or two out of that.

These Strokes are apparently still together, though they're more often seen indulging in solo projects these days.

The Strokes - Last Night

Only three to choose from, but which is your Strokes of luck?

 

Celebrity Jukebox #139: Brian Wilson (Part 1)

The Beach Boys - Surf's Up

I was born too late for the 60s, but as I grew up and started to discover pop music (often through my sister's record collection), there were two bands that stood out for me. Two bands which came to define 60s music for me. Music that is timeless. Music that represents the very best pop could be.

The Beach Boys - California Saga (California)

Those two bands were not the two obvious ones.

They were the Supremes... and The Beach Boys.

The Beach Boys - In My Room

For me then, the passing of Brian Wilson last week is very hard to process. Words don't seem adequate to express how I feel about the Beach Boys, and without Brian, the Beach Boys wouldn't have existed.

The Beach Boys - Summer's Gone

Brian Wilson envisioned a USA that anyone would want to live in. A land of sun and surf and love and promise. Bruce Springsteen recognised that, and carried on the work in many of his own songs. When I was a kid, I dreamed of living in their America. Of course, it's a myth... today more than ever. But I don't think the UK is any better. It's just the way the world is turning. And at least America had that myth to strive towards... the Britain I grew up in didn't even have that. Instead, we had a bitter hankering for the days of the Empire... or a justifiable guilt for the same. Today, I'd still choose to live in Brian Wilson's America if it were an option... I hope his heaven is just like that.  

The Beach Boys - I Just Wasn't Made For These Times

 

The Beach Boys - Long Promised Road

Back in 2012, I compiled My Top Ten Beach Boys Songs. I'd stand behind most of that list today. The Number One is indisputable. 13 years ago, I questioned whether it was "the greatest love song ever written". There is, of course, another contender to that title, that being my favourite song of all time. Objectively speaking, God Only Knows is probably even better than Wichita Lineman... but there's more to our favourites than objectivity. Still, God Only Knows is in my all time Top Ten... and this whole paragraph is the kind of nonsense a certain type of muso (myself included) spends far too much bandwidth worrying about.

If you should ever leave me

Well, life would still go on, believe me

The world could show nothing to me

So what good would living do me?

Rest in peace, Brian. You had a tough life, but a wonderful one. And your legacy is eternal...

 

Snapshots #400: Eponymous Songs (Volume 2)

Back in July 2021, we did an edition of Snapshots about song titles which featured the name of the singer or band performing them. It was high time for a sequel...

20. Like a Sonic Youth offshoot. 

Ciccone Youth was a side-project of Sonic Youth. This is Louise Ciccone, first name...

Madonna - Bitch, I'm Madonna

19. At His Majesty's pleasure...

Fun Lovin' Criminals - The Fun Lovin' Criminal

18. Mulligan's paddy wagon.

Carey Mulligan in a black mariah...

Mariah Carey - Me. I Am Mariah…The Elusive Chanteuse 

Not actually a song, but that might make it a better listen.

17. Scritti & Doris.

Scritti Politti was led by Green Gartside. Doris Day.

Green Day - Green Day

16. Chronic Youth.

His most famous album was The Chronic.

Dr Dre - Still DRE

15. Neither atheists not agnostics.

They were definitely Believers. And Daydream Believers.

(I know, they'd lost their heads on that day.)

The Monkees - Hey, Hey, We're The Monkees

14. If it's too late for goodbye, how will you bear up?

How will Julian (Lennon) cope?

Julian Cope - Julian H. Cope

13. Bristow, abbreviated... and a junior griffin.

Eric B(ristow) and William Michael Griffin Jr...

Eric B. & Rakim - Eric B. Is President 

Well, he couldn't do a worse job that the current guy.

12. Betty's last word.

Boop-boo-be-doop.

Doop - Doop

Don't listen to that. Just don't.

11. Hilarious, in her later years.

She would grow up to be a Funny Girl.

Barbra Streisand - My Name Is Barbra

10. A resident and a nadir.

A tennant and a low...

Pet Shop Boys - We're the Pet Shop Boys

9. The Cure singing Sugar Sugar.

Gothic Archies - We Are The Gothic Archies

8. Parliamentary subdivision. 

Funkadelic were another of George Clinton's backing bands gone rogue...

Funkadelic - Mommy, What's a Funkadelic

7. Financial aid for US loos.

(Linda Thompson featuring) John Grant - John Grant

Linda wrote a song about John for her latest album. As she can't singer herself anymore, she got John to sing it. 

6. Sobule + Nugent + 7.

Jill (Sobule) + Ted (Nugent) + John (Grant).

Jilted John - Jilted John

5. 6 & 7, as helpless as a kitten up a tree, Dad.

Two Johns, "as helpless as a kitten up a tree" is from Misty, Dad is Father.

Father John Misty - The Night Josh Tillman Came to Our Apt.

FJM's real name is Josh Tillman.

4. Top Gear.

Motorhead - Motorhead

3. Smelly squat.

B.O. + Diddley Squat.

Bo Diddley - Bo Diddley

2. Me: Chico Jr. But I may be wrong.

"Me: Chico Jr." was an anagram.

Jim Croce - You Don’t Mess Around With Jim

1. Albert Buster Caspian.

Prince Albert, Prince Buster, Prince Caspian...

1. Prince - My Name Is Prince

Ironically, when this record was released, he stopped calling himself Prince. But he was still funky...

Do we really a Snapshots #401? Maybe it's time to let you have your Saturday mornings back...

Saturday Snapshots #400

This is Sir Edmund Hilary. I invited him along today to help celebrate the 400th edition of Snapshots. Quite a mountain we've climbed together...

Here are twenty stars of popular music. But how are their songs connected? (Maybe I'll stop asking who they all are, since once the connection's been guessed, nobody really cares about their identities anymore. Such is life.)

20. Like a Sonic Youth offshoot. 

19. At His Majesty's pleasure...

18. Mulligan's paddy wagon.

17. Scritti & Doris.

16. Chronic Youth.

15. Neither atheists not agnostics.

14. If it's too late for goodbye, how will you bear up?

13. Bristow, abbreviated... and a junior griffin.

12. Betty's last word.

11. Hilarious, in her later years.

10. A resident and a nadir.

9. The Cure singing Sugar Sugar.

8. Parliamentary subdivision. 

7. Financial aid for US loos.

6. Sobule + Nugent + 7.

5. 6 & 7, as helpless as a kitten up a tree, Dad.

4. Top Gear.

3. Smelly squat.

2. Me: Chico Jr. But I may be wrong.

1. Albert Buster Caspian.

Answers tomorrow!

Emergency Questions #7: Demolition

As always, I'm indebted to Richard Herring for giving us something to talk about on a Friday - from his book Emergency Questions.

Have you ever demolished a wall or a building?

The Style Council - Walls Coming Tumbling Down

Ken Sharp - Break Down The Walls

Kiss - When Your Walls Come Down

Growing up among a family of builders, there was always the opportunity to wreck things. Before side-stepping into building houses, my brother specialised in demolition. I never really accompanied him on any of these wrecking jobs, but I'd see him knocking stuff down for my dad around the farm every now and then. My greatest memory of his destructive tendencies involved my first bike, which he drove over with his JCB when I made the mistake of leaving it in the yard. My sister carried it back into the house and held it up to show me what had happened... but it wasn't until she turned it side on that I realised it was flat.

Electric Soft Parade - Holes In The Wall

Smokie - When The Walls Comes Down

Broken Records - The Crumbling Wall

My dad was a joiner by trade, but he could turn his hand to most jobs. He built sheds, turned our old barn into the house my Mum still lives in today, and single-handedly wood-panelled the house I grew up in to within an inch of its life. Wood panelling was very big back in the 70s, especially if you were a joiner. There was always some DIY project ongoing, despite the fact he had a full time job at the car auctions and also managed the farm. 

Kris Kristofferson - Let The Walls Come Down

Def Leppard - When The Walls Came Tumbling Down

Suzanne Vega - Crack in the Wall

I do have one specific memory of a demolition job that I got involved in, and this was when I was very young... maybe 4 or 5. There was a wall down the side of the staircase that my dad had started knocking down so that he could make the small sitting room a bit more open plan. This was an old farmhouse, so all the walls were built of stone - no plasterboard when that place was built. Removing the wall was taking him some time (in between all his other jobs), but one morning he and my Mum woke up very early to the sound of hammering... only to discover me sitting on the stairs with a lump hammer in my hand, cheerfully knocking out the bricks. I guess I wanted to be like my dad...

The Mendoza Line - Before I Hit the Wall

There was one song I had to play today, but I really couldn't choose between the two best versions. So here they both are...

Plus one more relevant tune that I haven't heard in years...