Weezer have a new album out, and frontman Rivers Cuomo is obviously feeling his age. Firstly, it's the pressure of being an ageing rock star having to feed the corporate machine...
Cranking out another nineties jam
Wish I could do something new
But nobody wants to hear that
They just want the classics
You can't blame 'em, really
There's something special about your early shit...
Then, more generally, the terrible irritations of modern life...
Welcome to the first of two very special editions of the
Cancel Culture Club, renamed the Cancel Christmas Club for the festive season,
and because it turns out we’re all a bunch of miserable old grinches.
If it was up to me, I'd cancel all Christmas songs - they
are almost without exception, unremittingly shite, soul sapping joylessness and
exercises in making me dislike Christmas itself more than I already do.
Especially the hardcore canon of the dozen or so that get played endlessly
everywhere from mid-November onward - Slade, Wham, Shakey, Wizzard, McCartney
et al. They make me want to cut my ears off.
I think the thing I resent the most is the expectation that
if you just put on this funny jumper and listen to this handful of songs,
you'll 'feel Christmassy'. I don't.
Even the good ones bug me now due to overexposure and being
told that, 'well, if you don't like those songs, I bet you like The Pogues...'
I'd just cancel Christmas, or at least all the awful
shamelessly commercial shenanigans leading up to it and certainly all the
plastic disposable shite that gets peddled in.... garden centres!What's that all about, all that synthetic
non-recyclable eco-disaster taking up shelf space in a garden centre?But that's another rant altogether - I'd
better get back to the subject in hand.
What about our friend Walter, over in the land where they
invented Christmas trees? Surely he’s got something positive to say about Weihnachten?
From my point of view, Christmas could be abolished, as I
have been spending this time in Southeast Asia for a long time now, where there
are Christmas decorations, but none of the religious fuss.
OK. Having set the tone nicely, let’s look at our first
contentious Christmas song…
I love the way Shane clearly couldn’t even be bothered to
spit out his chewing gum before going up on stage to mime along to that.
Before we get to the comments, I should reveal that
Fairytale of New York was the second of the two Chrimbo Classics I offered up
to the CC-Committee, but I’ve chosen to feature it first. Why? Well, because
the other one was Band Aid… and hoo boy, wait till you see the reaction to
that. SWC in particular wrote a whole page, scored onto the paper in what I
worry might be his own blood, but I’m more hopeful was the blood of a Bono. And
he wasn’t alone in his vitriol. So consider Fairytale a gentle apéritif – a
prawn cocktail before the full roast turkey dinner that will be Do They Know
It’s Christmas?
All that said, let’s pop over to see how Christmas is
shaping up in Portugal. And it looks like George is scratching his head…
Fairytale: I have no idea why this is a potential candidate
for cancelling, so I need to research it (i.e. go to Wikipedia). And using that
as my sole source, I think the reason for the song's inclusion is the use of
misogynistic and homophobic content. And I'm going to agree with Radio 1 on
this one (and a big "BOO" to Radio 2). I also think Shane MacGowan's
defence (again, reading from wiki) is a bit disingenuous, especially given his
put down of the Pet Shop Boys (there's one very very good reason to dislike
that band without resorting to the pathetic slur he used).
I might as well butt in here with Shane’s defence of the
lyrics…
The word was used by the character because it fitted with
the way she would speak and with her character. She is not supposed to be a
nice person, or even a wholesome person. She is a woman of a certain generation
at a certain time in history, and she is down on her luck and desperate. Her
dialogue is as accurate as I could make it but she is not intended to offend!
She is just supposed to be an authentic character and not all characters in
songs and stories are angels or even decent and respectable, sometimes
characters in songs and stories have to be evil or nasty to tell the story
effectively. If people don't understand that I was trying to accurately portray
the character as authentically as possible, then I am absolutely fine with them
bleeping the word, but I don't want to get into an argument.
…which I have to say, I agree with… to an extent. I think
that defence works in terms of literature (and it’s a similar one that Quentin
Tarantino uses to excuse peppering his scripts with the N-word)… but it opens
up a bit of a can of worms when applied to a pop song, in particular a
Christmas pop song. That said, I always liked the sentiment of Fairytale
precisely because it was so different to all the other Christmas songs that get
trotted out year after year. But shush, this isn’t about my opinion – it’s
about George’s. And what did Shane have to say about the Pet Shop Boys (who
kept Fairytale off the Number One slot)?
"Two queens and a drum machine."
Hmm. Back in 1987, that would have been a lot more offensive
than it is now, I guess… I wouldn’t be surprised to hear Tennant and Lowe
self-apply the term these days, as a lot of my gay friends do.
I’m sorry, George, I keep interrupting you. Not to argue,
just to provide context. I hope.
I've never liked Fairytale In New York anyway, there's
something a bit smug in its delivery, and that twee diddly diddly dee music is
beyond annoying. You can't cancel a song just because of the crappy music (that
would put an end to the Pet Shop Boys), but I am saying Yes to Cancel for this
particular song because of the lyrical content.
OK, that’s the first vote cast. Now, having provided the
above context, we can happily return to Manchester’s answer to Krampus, Swiss
Adam…
More specifically I guess with A Fairy Tale of New York it's
the use of the word 'faggot' in the Kirsty sung line 'you scumbag, you maggot,
you cheap lousy faggot' that is the main topic of cancel conversation.
I'm a bit ambivalent. The song was written in character and
that line and the homophobic slur within it is era appropriate and character
appropriate. I have a gay friend who is pretty laid back about it (and he
definitely has a moral compass and would object if he found it objectionable).
Shane's comment about the song being kept off the number one
slot by 'two old queens' doesn't do him any favours but maybe we shouldn't be
looking to Shane McGowan for leadership in this area.
The very idea that we should treat Shane MacGowan as any
kind of role model is, of course, hilarious. I will defend him to the hilt
though, based purely upon that old story about the time Bono had to chuck him
out of his house for… well, here it is in Shane’s own words.
“Bono put in a glass roof and wall,” MacGowan explained in
an interview with The Times. “I used to wave my willy at the train as it passed
and hope that they thought it was Bono’s.”
Adam concludes…
I think on the whole I'd let the song stay - unless we're
banning them all just because Christmas songs are shit. In which case, begone.
So far then, we’ve only heard one definite call to cancel
the song. But wait… who’s this coming down the Cancel Culture Chimney? Only the
wonderful John Medd…
If I never hear this song again, it'll be too soon. It's a
time capsule (like Geldof's effort) and should be treated as such. Tinkering
with it to make it radio friendly is akin to putting lipstick on a pig. All
Christmas records have a shelf life, and this one is way past its.
And with that stark renunciation still ringing in our ears,
let’s move onto the case for the defence. Let’s start with C, shall we?
Fairytale of New York?I love its use of abusive terms and their delivery.Bum, punk (in its original meaning), old
slut, scumbag, maggot, faggot, arse.Why
have just one when you can have many? It's the antithesis of a sickly
"everything's alright in the world even though it isn't, because it's
Christmas!" sentiment in just above every other festive song.
Once again, C demonstrates her skill for using words far
better than my own clumsy attempt to express this sentiment earlier.
I believe too that the slang term "faggot", which
I think is the one that has caused the most issues, is now an example of a word
that has been reclaimed by those to whom it had been pejoratively directed. I
think that's a great way forward for many things.Embrace it, take the sting out of it, and
redress the dynamic of its power, by claiming it for yourself.
“As an English teacher…”
(Oh God, here he goes again!”)
As an English teacher, I like to believe that words only
gain power when we allow them to have that power. But it’s very easy to argue
that when I’m not one of the people said words are being directed at. Nobody
ever called me a faggot, nobody ever threw the N-word at me. If gay people can
take the sting out of faggot in the same way many black people (particularly
rappers) have reclaimed nigger, that’s surely something to applaud. But it’s
still a minefield if you’re not part of that particular community… and maybe
that’s the point. Maybe it should be.
There’s a famous episode of my favourite TV show, NYPD Blue,
in which notoriously racist* detective Andy Sipowicz gets into a mouthy
confrontation with a belligerent black activist who tells him, “you’re dealing
with that one nigger in a thousand who knows what you can and cannot do”. In
response, Andy throws the N-word back at him and gets in a lot of trouble for
it.
(Andy’s racism is given context in the show, and is part of
a long-running redemptive character arc. Prejudice is absolutely not a black
and white subject in NYPD Blue.)
Context is
everything. But back to C…
Does / has this song ever actually caused any harm to be
done to anyone?I can't imagine it,
there are so many more direct and genuinely hateful ways to cause harm that we
should be concentrating our efforts on, surely.So for me, as long as Christmas is here to stay, 'Fairytale' can stay
too.
Presumably the issue is the line "a cheap lousy
faggot", an insult said in anger in a stormy row between two lovers.
I'm sure most of us have done something similar at one stage
and now regret it.
Nowadays it is edited out and that's enough for me.
Good point there, CC, and one that hasn’t been made yet, but
it links back to what we were just saying about the power of words and how, in
moments of anger, we might reach for the most hurtful epithets in our quiver.
Next up is Martin, who appears today with an eye-witness
testimony…
I once had the good fortune to see Kirsty and Shane sing
this live together. She was the support act for Morrissey, at a December gig at
the Ally Pally. For her closing song she invited Shane up on stage and they
sang this together. He was so drunk he could barely stand, and his lyrics were
unintelligible most of the time. Kirsty's were crystal clear but I can't
remember whether she sang any of the controversial lines. There's the one
everyone knows about, subsequently changed to "You're cheap and you're haggard",
and there are others that no-one cares about any more (surely?), like
"arse" (at the time the Beeb requested that that be replaced with the
somehow less offensive "ass" for TOTP).
I was amused to read on iffypedia that, “When Katie Melua
performed the song with the Pogues on CD:UK in December 2005, ITV censored the
word "arse", but left "faggot" uncensored.”
Bloody ITV. You wouldn’t get that on the BBC, eh, Martin?
By 2007, things had moved on still further and both
"faggot" and "slut" were edited out by Radio 1, before the
revised "haggard" version became the broadcast norm. Is that the only
issue with this song - the sweariness and derogatory terms? Or is there
something more I don't know about?
In 2019, BBC Radio Solent DJ Alex Dyke announced that he
would not be playing the song on his show, calling it a "nasty, nasty
song" and "an offensive pile of downmarket chav bilge". Yet
still the world turns.
I hate to break it to Alex, but there are still lots of
people who talk like this. And it might be chav bilge, but it's also a love
song, of sorts, and the antidote to Yuletide saccharine. Cancel this at your
peril. Accept the "haggard" edit and move on, I say.
If you ask me, the “chav” response opens DJ Alex up to
accusations of snobbery, or at the very least coming from a privileged
background and being out of touch with the common man. But what do I know? I
grew up on a farm.
Next up is Ernie, who’s thinking of resigning from the
committee because he doesn’t believe in banning anything… and to be honest, I’m
coming around to his point of view. Maybe this feature has outstayed its
welcome? We’ve covered all the major causes of offence by now – sexism, racism,
homophobia, underage sex, Bono (next time, I promise)… I’m worried we’ll just
end up repeating ourselves, or I’ll begin to take advantage in terms of my entreaties
on your generosity. Perhaps it’s best to quit while we’re ahead? I’ll consider
this in the New Year. In the meantime, Ernie…
Pogues - if the f word offends you, then listen to the
version where Kirsty sings 'haggard' which has been readily available since
1992. Other than that, leave it alone.
Which brings us back to Walter, who echoes Ernie’s
sentiment…
Ever since the BBC toned down certain lines in the lyrics,
there has been an annual debate about whether crude swear words are suitable
for young ears. The song is about a couple who once had big dreams, but which
burst like soap bubbles due to drugs and alcohol. Each blames the other,
culminating in verbal insults. There is no doubt that these words are not
exactly pleasant, but they stem from a gutter vocabulary that is appropriate in
this context. Not that I approve of offensive swear words, but crude expressions
are part of every language. A fool is always a fool, even if I call him a
blockhead or a moron.
I always quite fancied being a Blockhead myself, if it meant
I got to hang out with Ian Dury. But do continue, Walter…
I do believe that crude language should be avoided, but
these words should not be censored. It is up to each individual to express
themselves appropriately. In my home country, Nina Hagen and BAP sang this song
in German and translated the swear words pretty much exactly. It's strange that
we, who have made gender equality our cause, have not yet had any discussions
about these lyrics (perhaps only once my words have been published).
I want to thank Walter for introducing me to that version,
in which the vocal delivery seems to switch – Nina Hagen sounds far more like
Shane MacGowan than Kirsty!
And that’s a much better cover than the Bon Jovi version
which… no, no, please don’t listen to it… don’t do that to your ears*. (And I
say that as a unashamed fan of Mr. By Jove, from back in the day.)
(*Anyone who defied my instructions above, you may note that
Mr. BJ appears to have rewritten the offending section of the song… but… unless
my ears deceive me… appears to have included the phrase “kick in the c*nt”
instead as part of his version. Or do I need some new batteries in my hearing
aid?)
Irish singer-songwriter Rob Smith apparently commented, "I
have heard Bon Jovi's cover of Fairytale of New York. It's the worst thing to
ever happen to music, and I am including both the murder of John Lennon and
Brian McFadden's solo career in there. This is worse!"
Final word today goes to The Vinyl Villain himself, JC, who
readily admits to being just as much of a grinch as Adam, C and Walter – and
even used the phrase “Bah humbug” in his response. When it comes to Fairytale
Of New York though… well, JC refuses to accept it’s even a Christmas song.
I will expend a little bit of energy on this one, for the
simple fact that I don’t regard it as a Christmas-themed record despite the
fact that The Pogues wrote it specifically as one while their record label was
happy to play the game and release it as a single at a particular time of the
year, in November 1987.
Twisted logic on my part?Maybe…. but bear with me.
Is this going to be like those people who try to deny Die
Hard is a Christmas movie?
I saw The Pogues play one of the most manic and memorable
gigs in my life at Strathclyde University Students Union back in 1985.It turned me into a fan.
Singles and albums were purchased as they were issued, but I
didn’t buy Fairytale of New York.I
loved watching the video over the festive period, and also being a fan of
Kirsty MacColl, it made for a fine listen, and as I got increasingly familiar
with the song, I found myself singing along every time to ‘The Boys of the NYPD
choir still singing Galway Bay and the bells are ringing out for Christmas
Day’.And I mean every time, to
the annoyance of my soon-to-be in-laws whose house I was living in at the time.
I bought the album If I Should Fall From Grace With God in
January 1988, and quickly realised it was a classic. The album the band had
been threatening to make since that gig a few years earlier. A perfect blend of
rock and what I thought was traditional Irish music, played and produced to
perfection.The songs all seemed to be
short stories set to music – some were rollicking and some were tear-jerking
ballads, with ‘Fairytale’ striding both.It was a record full of tunes that I imagined would be sung at the
wildest parties in Ireland – the fact I hadn’t yet set foot in that country was
neither here nor there! (That’s something which would change many years later
and I’ve now got proud and loving connections with the country.)Fairytale in this context was way more than a
Christmas song, and I still feel the same the best part of 40 years later.
As to the supposedly offensive lyrics...In what is clearly an exchange fuelled by
alcohol and indeed a love for one another as the rest of the lyric makes clear,
the male character, played by Shane calls the female character, played Kirsty,
an old slut on junk and she replies by calling him a scumbag, maggot and cheap
lousy faggot.It’s poetic and quite
magnificent.
I’d agree with JC that expressing love by using words like
these – rather than the usual barrel of cliches pop songs rely upon to
represent that emotion – shows a genuine understanding of both character and
storytelling technique that goes above and beyond.
Worth remembering too that not a lot was made of these
lyrics back in the late 80s.The only
thing folk were worried about back then was the use of the word ‘arse’ which
Kirsty was asked to amend to ‘ass’ for a live rendition on Top of The Pops.
The hullabaloo only really kicked up when the single was
re-released in 2005.A different time
altogether and an era when the notion of individuals and organisations having
platforms to express their supposed anger, hurt and offence, and being noticed
as they shouted from the sidelines, was becoming increasingly the norm.
While it seems some offence was taken prior to 2005, JC
makes a good point here that at the beginning of this century, with the rise of
the nasty old interweb, Professional Offence-Taking became an active sport, a
kind of cultural one-upmanship which has become so ingrained in society it’ll
no doubt be recognised as event in the next Olympic Games.
But in terms of today’s tune, I think JC sums it up for me
when he says…
I’ll never tire of Fairytale of New York.It’s a magnificent song that still sounds
wonderful all these years later. It shouldn’t be messed with.
Thank you all for your thoughts.
Join us back here to give Bob, Midge and (especially) Bono a festive kicking... it's the true spirit of Christmas!
Ben messaged me to ask, "Did you do a blog post for Ace Frehley?", to which my shameful reply was, "No. I meant to, but never got round to it."
Still, better late than never.
As "Spaceman", the original guitarist in Kiss, Paul Daniel "Ace" Frehley clearly left a sizable crater in the history of rock 'n' roll... even though he eventually left to pursue a solo career / was kicked out for excessive substance abuse, depending on which version you believe. Bridges were rebuilt in the late 90s and the remaining Kiss members had nothing but good things to say about him in eulogy, while Alice Cooper remarked, ""He always brought it every night. He did it every night. And it's just hard to see somebody like that go. Ace was an ACE."
Above are a series of self-portraits taken by Austrian philosopher and photographer (although he gave them both up to become a shepherd in later life), Ludwig Wittgenstein. On pondering the great unanswerable philosophical questions, Wittgenstein came up with the best answer I've ever heard when he said, "I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves."
And with that in mind, here are some more big questions to ponder...
Thanks for playing. I'll be back with more existential questions for you to ponder tomorrow. 'Will Snapshots return next Saturday?' won't be one of them...
("Why are you bothering writing this? Nobody reads this blog and those who do don't want to read about your bloody mental health! You should delete the whole stupid thing and find something better to do with your time.")
Intrusive thoughts seem to come out of nowhere. These thoughts and images are unwanted and often unpleasant. The content can sometimes be aggressive or sexual, or you could suddenly think about a mistake or a worry.
You might feel distressed when this happens, but having an intrusive thought once in a while is a typical part of life.
In most cases, intrusive thoughts do not have any particular meaning. As long as you recognize that these are only thoughts, and you have no desire to act on them, intrusive thoughts are not harmful.
("For a start, you could get your own back on that guy who sent you the anonymous letter about your hedge. You know who he is. You know where he lives. Slash his caravan tyres. Put a brick through his patio door! At least smash one of his bloody gnomes!")
Some of the young people I work with aren't able to control their intrusive thoughts. That's why they end up with us. But working with them has given me a sense of perspective on my own intrusive thoughts. And how to combat them.
Who can know What happens in her mind? Did she come From a strange world And leave her mind behind? Her long lost sighs And her brightly coloured eyes Tell her story to the wind
Intrusive thoughts might tell us to punch that guy who pushes past us in the supermarket. They might tell us to ogle or make an inappropriate comment to a stranger we pass in the street. They might cause us sleepless nights worrying about things that probably won't ever happen. When things get really bad, they might make us want to hurt ourselves... or worse.
("What have you ever actually achieved in this world? You're such a waste of space. You'd be doing the world a favour...")
Matthew Jay died in 2003 after falling from his North London flat. An inquest returned an open verdict into his death, although his record company issued an initial statement saying, "his act would appear to have been an impulsive gesture following a professionally difficult year and perhaps, a difficult day".
Serious intrusive thoughts need to be treated with therapy or drugs, but for the rest of us... I reckon we can take steps to tackle them ourselves. Healthline advises...
A good step toward treating intrusive thoughts is recognizing what they are: just thoughts. You can learn to label them when they happen and recognize that thoughts are not the same as intent or behavior. This may help reduce the frequency or intensity of unwanted thoughts.
The Cynic reports... this does actually work. Say you're driving home from work and an Audi driver does what Audi drivers do. Intrusive thoughts will tell you to scream at him. (Actually, they might tell you to ram him off the road, but hopefully you're not yet at the stage where you follow through on that.) But if you counter the need to react like that by labeling the thought as intrusive, you immediately give yourself the power to challenge it.
That momentary pause can make a difference. I've started questioning my thoughts before I act on them. Is it common sense or nonsense? Jekyll or Hyde? Bruce Banner or The Hulk? Tyler Durden or The Narrator? It's a tiny step, but it gets easier the more you do it. I've forced far fewer Audis off the road in the last week or so...
("You just wasted an hour of your life writing this shit. I hope you're proud of yourself!"
Ah, but was it a waste? Don't I feel just ever so slightly better for having put all this down on virtual paper. Shut up, voice in my head. You don't know what you're talking about. If nothing else, it gave me the opportunity to finish with some Bruce, and that's always a good thing...)
Well, your honour, I do believe I'd be better off dead And if you can take a man's life for the thoughts that're in his head Then won't you sit back in that chair and think it over, judge, one more time? And let 'em shave off my hair and put me on that execution line
Another month, another legend gone. Gordon Lightfoot may not be a household name in the UK, where his biggest hit barely scraped the Top 30, but he was loved and respected in his native Canada, in the US, and throughout the musical community, with everyone from Elvis to Dylan to Johnny Cash to Neil Young and Paul Weller singing his praises and covering his songs. My favourite Gordon Lightfoot composition is this one... though The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald comes a close second.
How does Gord (as he was billed on his earliest hits) fare on the jukebox? Well, unsurprisingly, he gets a lot of love from his fellow Canadians, starting with this guy...
She can wear high heels and flannel She can look sexy in a toque She likes snow storms and Gordon Lightfoot And if you're lucky she'll love you
Barrie is a city in Ontario, just north of Toronto. However, Barrie the band comes from Brooklyn, and here they are singing about Michigan.
You never change your clothes Cause denim fades so good Station wagon with the panel wood Gordon Lightfoot if I could Your summer love was all you knew There's nothing left to do But go crazy on you
Outside of Gordon's home country, we arrive first in L.A. where Rivers Cuomo of Weezer has written a terrific tune about some of his favourite artists... and Gordon is the first one he mentions.
Gordon Lightfoot Sang a song About a boat That sank in the lake
Mike Viola is a frequent collaborator of Panic! At The Disco, Jenny Lewis and Andrew Bird, among others. Here, he compiles a list of artists he'd "let in to a very secret club"...
Paul Kelly and the Messengers, Costello, Crowded House Squeeze before that Rolling Stone review that smoked them out The Clash, The Cars, The Who, Gordon Lightfoot, Joni Mitch Graham Parker and the Figgs would definitely make the list
And, in an effort to make this blog more educational...
That's a Tres Leches cake. Looks like a heart attack waiting to happen.
Howe Gelb from Giant Sand always raises a smile when I hear his tunes... even if I haven't got a clue what he's singing about.
Feeling about the brotherhood has got me down and up To no good Feeling about the brotherhood has even got me sitting here Singing like Gordon Lightfoot
Plenty of songs mention the name Lightfoot in their title, not all of them are about the great man himself. I reckon these are though, one way or another...
It's back to Canada for today's final tune though, with a song that doesn't only pay tribute to Gordon Lightfoot... but also his backing band, including John Stockfish, Charlie McCoy and Red Shea...
And Lightfoot
Edwardian, suddenly striped
His hair blondish and poetic
He is less than vinyl perfect
His foot is a precise anchor for the husk and vibrance of his voice
He is the image of Alberta
The side street near Chicago
The grim beauty of Toronto
He is an artist
He is an artist
He is an artist painting Sistine masterpieces of pine and fur and backwoods
Still echoes long ago the winter night of black July and then the outcome
My knowledge of Mary Tyler Moore is somewhat second-hand as I was just too young to have watched her groundbreaking sitcoms, though I do remember watching spin-offs such as Rhoda and Lou Grant with my mum. Mary's reputation as a feminist icon appears well-deserved though: as one of the most successful female stars in American TV, the joint head of the production company that gave us everything from Newhart to Hill Street Blues, a prominent campaigner for social rights... and the woman who put Dick Van Dyke in his place long before Julie Andrews.... MTM is clearly a legend.
Her jukebox legacy is pretty legendary too, starting with Prince...
Skip the Remy and let me have some Mary Tyler Moore of that new power soul
Comin' from the Midwest passin' every test with a fuzz tone remote control
This blog's only claim to fame is that, many years ago, the lead singer of Bowling For Soup once left a comment here. This is BFS's version of the Mary Tyler Moore theme tune... which REM have also played live, but I can't find their version anywhere on the interweb.
The Hold Steady are firm favourites here at Top Ten Towers, and they've got a new album out this week. Here's one from their 2005 classic Separation Sunday...
I was half dead then I got born again
I got lost in all the lights but it was okay in the end
And when we hit the Twin Cities, I didn't know that much about it
I knew Mary Tyler Moore and I knew Profane Existence
And now, from the "Never Heard Of 'Em But Still Not Bad" file, here's a San Francisco band "that plays original indie rock music with hints of progressive"...
Yes, I guess the true proof of a legendary hit single comes when other bands start referencing your song in their own tunes. There was only ever going to be one winner today... but the question is, did Mary ever meet Buddy in real life?
And the answer is... no, though she was apparently a fan. MTM began appearing in The Dick Van Dyke Show shortly after Buddy's death in 1961, and when she got her own show, Sonny Curtis from the Crickets was given the job of writing and performing the theme tune we discussed earlier.
So that answers that. The only question remaining... What's with these homies, dissing my girl?
What the world needs now is another tribute to one of the most important musicians of the 20th Century. From his peerless work with lyricist Hal David to later collaborations with Carole Bayer Sager, Neil Diamond and Elvis Costello, Burt Bacharach created an unparalleled songbook of timeless classics. What can I say that hasn't already been said by far more erudite folk than me?
How about sitting back and listening to a few tributes from the Celebrity Jukebox? And who better to start with than... The Quo?!?
Hardly going to beat that, am I?
Maybe not, but I was pleased to find that a number of my favourite artists happily name dropped Burt B. in their lyrics. For example...
I would like to keep this vision Of you intact, When we'd hang around and listen To Bacharach And you loved the world you lived in And it loved you back
It's closing time And the drunks sing some stray lines of Bacharach It's too late now to even out the score You drain the glass and raise your hand for more So I'll take cover while you just take the floor
If you ever need a stranger To sing at your wedding A last minute choice then I am your man I know every song, you name it By Bacharach or David Every stupid love song that's ever touched your heart Every power ballad that's ever climbed the charts
Now that's the kind of room I'd like to fill with Burt Bacharach music The look of love Is in your eyes
Remember when Burt was married to Angie Dickenson Can't you see her Angie's in an evening gown Drinking scotch on the rocks Those rocks are clinking as she walks across the room "The Look of Love" rises from Burt's piano Oh, what a muse!
But oh you could fool me into staying Talking in the corner, hating all the music playing I like the Rockmes and Bacharach And I'd happily burn a playlist with an explanation Track for track
Meet me in the backwoods, we're going after dark We're digging a hole in the ground, there's no need to worry at all You ask too many questions like, "who's it for?" etcetera C'mon, you must know you're already gone Just think back to Bacharach & chocolate-covered strawberries Since you seem to think it's our only good memory You say you've been done around here No need to repeat, you've made it perfectly clear That you're already gone
All of which leads us back to where we started, songs that mention Burt in the title. Can anyone compete with the Quo? You decide...
Today's best discovery comes from "Withington's Burt Bacharach", Chris Keaney and his Electric Lovehandles. Let's just say that bandcamp purchases ensued. This is proving an expensive feature for me...
I've read comics all my life. I can't afford to buy them anymore, so I just read them online through a monthly subscription app. Stream them, I guess. Then again, when I started buying comics they were 10p each. Nowadays they're over three quid a pop - I don't know how modern collectors do it.
Two things got me into reading comics. One was the 70s Spider-Man cartoon, the one with the immortal theme tune. But as much as Spidey became my number one hero, he wasn't the star of the first comic I owned. That was Hulk Comic, which my mum bought me because I loved the old TV show starring Bill Bixby and Lou Ferrigno.
Ferrigno was a body builder who initially became famous when he featured in the 1975 documentary Pumping Iron alongside a young Arnold Schwarzenegger. (Scharzenegger was considered for the role of the Hulk, but lost out in the end because he was three inches shorter than Ferrigno.)
Having lost almost 80% of his hearing as a child, young Lou retreated into a fantasy world of super-hero comics and body-building to avoid the bullies. Excellent preparation for his time as the Incredible Hulk... and for being Michael Jackson's personal trainer for over 20 years.
You can pretty much guarantee that anyone who's known for being a tough guy will be name-checked in about 300 rap songs, and that's certainly true for Lou. You'll easily find him associating with everyone from Ice Cube to Eminem to Busta Rhymes, plus a bunch of other guys even hardcore rap fans probably never heard of.
Lou Ferrigno's name features in more song titles than anyone else I've so far investigated for this feature... although none of them are by anyone you've ever heard of. Don't believe me? Try these (or don't, I won't be offended)...
And that's just the tip of the iceberg. There's plenty more out there if you like scraping barrels.
By this point in my search I was starting to get desperate. What were the chances of finding any Lou Ferrigno songs in my own record collection? Well, as it turned out... zilch. The closest I got was an unreleased Weezer b-side featuring Rage Against The Machine's Tom Morello on guitar...
This year, rather than releasing 3 new albums, Weezer are instead releasing 4 new EPs (that's a reduced work ethic for these guys). However, the first one, SZNZ: Spring, has seven tracks on it, so that's bigger than most EPs. Weezer are always worth a listen, but like most artists who release everything they record, they could do with a little more quality control. These days though, where new content is king, they're probably doing the right thing to maximise the old streaming revenue. What do I know? It's a crazy world.
Anyway, Weezer promised these new records were "inspired by magic, Pagan myths, religious rituals, Vivaldi’s The Four Seasons, Shakespeare & more", and track one certainly fulfills the promise of the Bard... it even sounds a little bit "hey nonny nonny", with added Weezer guitars.
Hamlet makes me happy
Falstaff makes me happy
So happy, and I'm happy to be with you
Rosalind makes me happy
Beatrice makes me happy
So happy, and I'm happy to be with you
Hamlet makes me happy too. Sadly, I don't get to teach my favourite Shakespeare play as it's not on the syllabus. Lots of Macbeth and Romeo and Juliet, and last week I even had to teach Twelfth Night... which I've never even read. Just stay a few pages ahead of the class and you'll be fine...
Ben: The new Teenage Fanclub song "I'm more inclined" stole the intro from Girl on the Phone by The Jam and the chorus from Don't Fear The Reaper (except no cowbell). (God, I hate that joke.)
The verses sound like every Travelling Wilburys song.
Rol: Sounds like a classic. I added it to a playlist but it hasn't come up yet (while I've been awake).
It's pretty good but very cut and paste.
I know you'll hate it (but then, that adds to its appeal), but I'm digging the new Weezer album. They've been listening to lots of ELO... and Jellyfish.
Weezer are like a 3.5/5 Weezer cover band.
They're the musical embodiment of Plato's cave.
Not everything has to be deep. I appreciate the shallows too. It's warmer and more comforting to swim there. Especially these days.
They're just MOR is what I mean.
Some of my favourite artists are MOR. It's glorious to give yourself to MOR, rather than constantly trying to live your life on the edge.
Besides, what did Plato know? He never even had sex.
Next you'll be telling me to listen to Foo Fighters.
No, they are bland.
The difference between Weezer and Foo Fighters is in the lyrics. Rivers Cuomo writes fun, smart and slightly geeky lyrics. Dave Grohl trots out rock clichés second only to Noel Gallagher. Occasionally he throws in a killer riff that elevates the odd Foo Fighters song to car tape level, but a lyric insert is never needed in a FF album.
Ben responds by linking to the lyrics ofBeverly Hills...
Look at all those movie stars
They're all so beautiful and clean
When the housemaids scrub the floors
They get the spaces in between
Yeah, but in that they were knowingly going for the MTV crowd.
All that said, there is another track on the new album that sounds like 5ive, so I'm not completely deaf to your standoffishness.
Again, don't mind Weezer. If you were trying to tell me the new Green Day album was any good, that'd be a different story.
Also, I just realised that one of the tracks steals its intro from Everybody Loves You Now by Billy Joel... so that's me sold.
I only started this conversation as a distraction from the tedious process of fitting Velux skylight blinds. And maybe get a blog post out of it.
In both those, you have served your purpose admirably.
Ugh. That sounds like a nightmare.
You still trying to get blog material out of our dull conversations?
If I'm just left to write my own posts these days, they all sound like Marvin The Paranoid Android.
Need a little Zaphod Beeblebrox in it?
Say what you want about Solipsism, but at least it's an ethos...
Well as a steadfast materialist, I'd say there's plenty wrong with it
Of course. But how do I know your opinion even exists?
Basic answer. As Descartes concluded, though you may not know, the reality you are presented with is the one that you must experience so must accept my opinion as a part of your own constructed reality.
Of course, if you want to eschew Cartesian Dualism, you can always lean heavily into Hegel.
But then as Feurbach shows, the line of thinking that the individual idea of man is the true spirit inherently leads to the reification of a god in its very act of eschewing it.
I guest teach the lecture on "idealism to materialism: an ontological and epistemological split" in the 4th year module on social scientific theories.
You could always just read Wittgenstein's tracto-logicus philosophus. It gives a good argument that solipsistic ideas really have no bearing and are misinformed perceptions of the external world.
Is this good blog material?
Don't bother asking for an extension on the essay, then.
There is a link back to Weezer in all this though - their album is called OK Human, a play on the Radiohead album OK Computer which featured the track Paranoid Android. Gives us as a nice circular structure to this piece...
As for that new Teenage Fanclub song, most of its tune is nicked from Who'll Stop The Rain? by Creedence.
