Today is the final day of March, tomorrow the first of April. To celebrate, here are a small number of artists (still - quite amazing that there's more than one) with both April and March in their name...
APRIL MARCH #1
Not a musician, but it would be remiss of me not to include the original April March, "The First Lady of Burlesque", a headline act across the world from 1952 till her retirement in '78 (she gave up because the stripping business had become "too blatant and sexual"). Born Velma Fern Worden, she was married eight times (and briefly engaged to Mel Torme), almost became a pro golfer, and made a comeback in 2006, aged 71. She died last year.
If none of the others take your fancy this week, I'm sure Velma will appreciate your vote.
AN APRIL MARCH #2
Next up, a Canadian shoegaze / dream pop band, active between '89 and '99, originally called The Whittingtons. Compared to many of this week's acts, they at least play proper music... I just can't find much more info about them without doing a deep dive, and I already spent far too much time this week looking for a video of #1 performing in her heyday. (I'll save you the trouble - none seem to exist.)
An April March - Scarlett Bliss
APRIL MARCH #3
New Yorker Elinor Lanman Blake is a writer, illustrator and animator who has worked on The Ren & Stimpy Show, Pee-Wee's Playhouse and the Madonna movie Who's That Girl. She also did the illustrations for a children's book written by Jack White named after his song We're Going To Be Friends.
As a musician, she goes by the name April March, first in her band the Pussywillows, and then as a solo artist. As a self-confessed Francophile, she's rather partial to a bit of Serge, and she's probably most well known for her cover of Gainsbourg's Chick Habit which featured in the soundtrack to Quentin Tarantino's movie Death Proof.
APRIL MAY MARCH #4
See what they did there? I mean, really, if it was a busier week, I wouldn't include this at all. And also, it's filed under "experimental" on the camp of bands, and that's never a recommendation.
Trust me though, it might not be the most bizarre thing you hear this week. Because...
APRIL MARCH #5
Because... this week's WTF offering was dropped onto the camp of bands in 2020. It's a recording of some woman sitting in her car eating a granola bar, while talking to you in a breathy whisper. If that's the sort of thing that gets you engine revving, you can buy it for the low price of one American dollar. Others might prefer to go back to #1 for their titillation.
I'm hoping April's got a real job in the last six years and this isn't her only source of income.
Have we got time for a bonus track, just to make up the numbers?
MARCH ONTO APRIL
March Onto April - Postcards From Greece
Which one makes you want to March into April... and which are just March-April Fools?
Track 11: The Fratellis - Chelsea Dagger
Confession time: I find The Fratellis a bit annoying. And
most of the time, I find Chelsea Dagger, their biggest hit, very annoying.
Actually, I’m not sure I can remember any of their other songs, but this one…
it’s hard to get away from. Because of the yobbish terrace anthem chorus which,
the more I hear it, the more I can’t help but think, “Knees up, Mother Brown!”
I was therefore surprised to discover that the Fratellis
are, to quote George, Weegies. I would have sworn they were Landahners, like
the Libertines who they clearly owe a sizable debt to. I also didn’t know that
they took their band name from The Goonies. Clearly I need to watch The Goonies
again. I did know that they called their debut record Costello Music, but
apparently that has nothing to do with Elvis, it’s just the name of an old
studio they used to rehearse in.
Why are they here if I don’t care for them that much? I
guess because I thought this would be the kind of easy-to-singalong indie
gubbins that might stick in Sam’s head and persuade him that guitar music was
the way forward rather than Juice WRLD, Imaginary Dragons and Youngboy With A
Broken Neck.
All those efforts were ultimately in vain…
12: Fine Young Cannibals - Good Thing
Is it better to burn out than fade away? The Fine Young
Cannibals burned very brightly in the late 80s, and they were a band I had a
lot of time for while I was otherwise falling out of love with the singles
chart. Turns out that Roland Gift and his two mates – Andy Cox and Davis
Steele, both formerly of The Beat – had even greater success in the US where both
this song and its predecessor, She Drives Me Crazy, were Billboard Number Ones.
And then, by 1992 it was all over. Two albums, a clutch of
hit singles, then the pressure of fame, musical differences, the same old
story. Maybe it’s better they went out on top rather than the slow decline that
kills so many bands.
13: The Clash - London Calling
Some of you will be wondering how I could do 87 CDs before getting to The Clash’s best song.
The Clash are a harder sell than The Jam or
The Undertones – maybe they’re a more mature proposition? Or maybe they just
didn’t have tunes that were quite as catchy? Should I Stay… and the Bobby
Fuller Four cover (originally recorded by a post-Buddy Crickets) had already
featured by the time I got to this one, but after that there was a long gap and
I’ve only recently started adding less obvious Clash songs to Sam’s
compilations… long after I pretty much exhausted the early Weller output.
Or, to put it another way, London Calling is a far, far
better song than Chelsea Dagger. But I bet if you played them both to the
average eight year old and asked them which they prefer, Joe and Mick would be
going home with second prize.
14: Dobie Gray - The In Crowd
I wonder if I included this one as a subtle hint at a moral
message? “Don’t worry about getting in with The In Crowd, son. Just find people
who accept you as you are.” That’s a lesson I’m still trying to learn as
my regular carping about not being one of the cool kids on the blogosphere will
clearly show.
Dobie Gray, of course, wants to be part of The In
Crowd… so actually, the message is the opposite of the one I’d like Sam to
learn. Did Dobie ever get to be part of that auspicious group himself? Well, he
came from nowhere, born to Texas sharecroppers – there’s even a question over
his real name… was it Lawrence Darrow Brown or Leonard Victor Ainsworth? He
then achieved a fair bit of success over a fair few years… most notably with
the song Drift Away, a hit both in 1973 and again in 2003 when it was covered
by country-rap-rock dude Uncle Kracker* who took it back into the US Top 10,
with Dobie on guest vocals.
(*I was unfamiliar with Uncle Kracker until today. He looks like that kid you went to school with who started working in McDonalds in the Sixth Form... and he's still working there.)
When he died in 2011, Dobie left 100% of his musical assets and royalties to charity. Surely that qualifies him for membership of a very select group, even better than The In Crowd?
Here are some more songs about that. Hope you can swim.
15. A Guy Named... Jarvis?
A Guy Named Joe meets another Sheffield Cocker.
I can't believe that this is the first time Joe Cocker has ever appeared on this blog.
14. What Mark Knopfler wore round his head.
He wore a headband.
The Band - Up On Cripple Creek
13. Don't challenge him to fisticuffs.
Louis Armstrong - Canal Street Blues
12. Charlton Heston was their President.
Charlton was the President of the National Rifle Association.
The Gun Club - The Straits of Love & Hate
11. Jog round the oil platform.
10. Sweeter than The Who's Magic.
The Who had a Magic Bus.
Honeybus - Cross Channel Ferry
9. Climbing without ropes, where Jason Bateman got into trouble.
Jason Bateman starred in The Ozark. Good show. You should give it a watch.
Ozark Mountain Daredevils - Arroyo
8. All Amish wink... but in a funny way.
Hank Williams - Jambalaya (On the Bayou)
7. How I feel when I discover the price of fuel has gone up again.
6. Young tearaways in the country capital.
Nashville Teens - How Deep Is The Ocean?
5. Blackburn, Orlando and Montana are all sad places.
Bluetones - Down at the Reservoir
4. Verstappen seen in the cemetery.
Max... by graves.
Max Bygraves - Gilly Gilly Ossenfeffer Katzenellen Bogen By The Sea
3. Full Monty star becomes more impressive.
Grand (Mark) Addy.
2. Where a Scottish Queen met her maker.
Mary Queen of Scots was beheaded in...
Fotheringhay - The Pond & The Stream
1. Bernice's pet rung the doctor: "Help, Doctor, I'm all in a tizzy!"
"Bernice's pet rung" was an anagram.
Bruce Springsteen - The River
15. A Guy Named... Jarvis?
14. What Mark Knopfler wore round his head.
13. Don't challenge him to fisticuffs.
12. Charlton Heston was their President.
11. Jog round the oil platform.
10. Sweeter than The Who's Magic.
9. Climbing without ropes, where Jason Bateman got into trouble.
8. All Amish wink... but in a funny way.
7. How I feel when I discover the price of fuel has gone up again.
6. Young tearaways in the country capital.
5. Blackburn, Orlando and Montana are all sad places.
4. Verstappen seen in the cemetery.
3. Full Monty star becomes more impressive.
2. Where a Scottish Queen met her maker.
1. Bernice's pet rung the doctor: "Help, Doctor, I'm all in a tizzy!"
You can Bragg about how well you've done tomorrow morning.
