Monday, 30 March 2026

The Enigma of CD #87: Part 4


More tracks from another randomly chosen CD compilation. The purpose of these CDs wasn't to show off my cool (ha!), eclectic tastes... it was just to expose my son to a wide a variety of old pop music as possible in his formative years, before I lost him to spotle-fy.


Track 11: The Fratellis - Chelsea Dagger

Confession time: I find The Fratellis a bit annoying. And most of the time, I find Chelsea Dagger, their biggest hit, very annoying. Actually, I’m not sure I can remember any of their other songs, but this one… it’s hard to get away from. Because of the yobbish terrace anthem chorus which, the more I hear it, the more I can’t help but think, “Knees up, Mother Brown!”

I was therefore surprised to discover that the Fratellis are, to quote George, Weegies. I would have sworn they were Landahners, like the Libertines who they clearly owe a sizable debt to. I also didn’t know that they took their band name from The Goonies. Clearly I need to watch The Goonies again. I did know that they called their debut record Costello Music, but apparently that has nothing to do with Elvis, it’s just the name of an old studio they used to rehearse in.

Why are they here if I don’t care for them that much? I guess because I thought this would be the kind of easy-to-singalong indie gubbins that might stick in Sam’s head and persuade him that guitar music was the way forward rather than Juice WRLD, Imaginary Dragons and Youngboy With A Broken Neck.

All those efforts were ultimately in vain…

 

12: Fine Young Cannibals - Good Thing

Is it better to burn out than fade away? The Fine Young Cannibals burned very brightly in the late 80s, and they were a band I had a lot of time for while I was otherwise falling out of love with the singles chart. Turns out that Roland Gift and his two mates – Andy Cox and Davis Steele, both formerly of The Beat – had even greater success in the US where both this song and its predecessor, She Drives Me Crazy, were Billboard Number Ones.

And then, by 1992 it was all over. Two albums, a clutch of hit singles, then the pressure of fame, musical differences, the same old story. Maybe it’s better they went out on top rather than the slow decline that kills so many bands.

 

13: The Clash - London Calling

Some of you will be wondering how I could do 87 CDs before getting to The Clash’s best song. 

The Clash are a harder sell than The Jam or The Undertones – maybe they’re a more mature proposition? Or maybe they just didn’t have tunes that were quite as catchy? Should I Stay… and the Bobby Fuller Four cover (originally recorded by a post-Buddy Crickets) had already featured by the time I got to this one, but after that there was a long gap and I’ve only recently started adding less obvious Clash songs to Sam’s compilations… long after I pretty much exhausted the early Weller output.

Or, to put it another way, London Calling is a far, far better song than Chelsea Dagger. But I bet if you played them both to the average eight year old and asked them which they prefer, Joe and Mick would be going home with second prize.

 

14: Dobie Gray - The In Crowd

I wonder if I included this one as a subtle hint at a moral message? “Don’t worry about getting in with The In Crowd, son. Just find people who accept you as you are.” That’s a lesson I’m still trying to learn as my regular carping about not being one of the cool kids on the blogosphere will clearly show.

Dobie Gray, of course, wants to be part of The In Crowd… so actually, the message is the opposite of the one I’d like Sam to learn. Did Dobie ever get to be part of that auspicious group himself? Well, he came from nowhere, born to Texas sharecroppers – there’s even a question over his real name… was it Lawrence Darrow Brown or Leonard Victor Ainsworth? He then achieved a fair bit of success over a fair few years… most notably with the song Drift Away, a hit both in 1973 and again in 2003 when it was covered by country-rap-rock dude Uncle Kracker* who took it back into the US Top 10, with Dobie on guest vocals.

(*I was unfamiliar with Uncle Kracker until today. He looks like that kid you went to school with who started working in McDonalds in the Sixth Form... and he's still working there.)

When he died in 2011, Dobie left 100% of his musical assets and royalties to charity. Surely that qualifies him for membership of a very select group, even better than The In Crowd?



Sunday, 29 March 2026

Snapshots #441 - Songs About Bodies Of Water


This is the late River Phoenix. I was going to put his picture up here yesterday, but I figured it'd make the link too easy. I have to be so careful with you guys. Instead, I went with Mr. Bragg because...

Billy Bragg - Body Of Water

Here are some more songs about that. Hope you can swim.


15. A Guy Named... Jarvis?

A Guy Named Joe meets another Sheffield Cocker.

I can't believe that this is the first time Joe Cocker has ever appeared on this blog.

Joe Cocker - Delta Lady

14. What Mark Knopfler wore round his head.

He wore a headband.

The Band - Up On Cripple Creek

13. Don't challenge him to fisticuffs.

Louis Armstrong - Canal Street Blues

12. Charlton Heston was their President.

Charlton was the President of the National Rifle Association.

The Gun Club - The Straits of Love & Hate

11. Jog round the oil platform.

Runrig - Loch Lomond

10. Sweeter than The Who's Magic.

The Who had a Magic Bus.

Honeybus - Cross Channel Ferry

9. Climbing without ropes, where Jason Bateman got into trouble.

Jason Bateman starred in The Ozark. Good show. You should give it a watch.

Ozark Mountain Daredevils - Arroyo

8. All Amish wink... but in a funny way.

Hank Williams - Jambalaya (On the Bayou)

7. How I feel when I discover the price of fuel has gone up again.

That Petrol Emotion - Swamp

6. Young tearaways in the country capital.

Nashville Teens - How Deep Is The Ocean?

5. Blackburn, Orlando and Montana are all sad places.

Bluetones - Down at the Reservoir

4. Verstappen seen in the cemetery.

Max... by graves.

Max Bygraves - Gilly Gilly Ossenfeffer Katzenellen Bogen By The Sea

3. Full Monty star becomes more impressive.

Grand (Mark) Addy.

Grandaddy - The Crystal Lake 

2. Where a Scottish Queen met her maker.

Mary Queen of Scots was beheaded in...

Fotheringhay - The Pond & The Stream

1. Bernice's pet rung the doctor: "Help, Doctor, I'm all in a tizzy!"

"Bernice's pet rung" was an anagram.

Bruce Springsteen - The River


Let the water carry you back here next Saturday for more Snapshots.

Saturday, 28 March 2026

Saturday Snapshots #441


I don't want to change the world. I'm not looking for a new England. I'm just looking for another edition of Snapshots... and here it is!

Who are these people and how are their songs connected?


15. A Guy Named... Jarvis?

14. What Mark Knopfler wore round his head.

13. Don't challenge him to fisticuffs.

12. Charlton Heston was their President.

11. Jog round the oil platform.

10. Sweeter than The Who's Magic.

9. Climbing without ropes, where Jason Bateman got into trouble.

8. All Amish wink... but in a funny way.

7. How I feel when I discover the price of fuel has gone up again.

6. Young tearaways in the country capital.

5. Blackburn, Orlando and Montana are all sad places.

4. Verstappen seen in the cemetery.

3. Full Monty star becomes more impressive.

2. Where a Scottish Queen met her maker.

1. Bernice's pet rung the doctor: "Help, Doctor, I'm all in a tizzy!"


You can Bragg about how well you've done tomorrow morning.


Friday, 27 March 2026

Another Day #8: Quirky Country Music Song Title Day

Step aside, World Theatre Day.

Hold my beer, International Scribble Day.

Heartfelt apologies to Wear A Hat Day, National Skipping Day, International Whisk(e)y Day and National Spanish Paella Day.

And as for National Viagra Day... well, I just couldn't get up much enthusiasm.

They all pale into insignificance next to Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day. I don't make them up, I just write them down.

The website I visited suggested a few, starting with a bonafide classic...


The Indelicates do a great version of that too. But I can't find it online.





Here are a few more favourites...






I tried looking up a song called I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling, but all I got from the tube of you was this...

So here's something a little more cheerful to close. 


Feel free to add your favourites in the Comments.


Thursday, 26 March 2026

Cancel Culture Club #8: In The Summertime


Welcome back to the feature where distinguished members of the blogosphere decide whether certain dodgy-opinion-voicing records of the past deserve to be cast into Room 101 (or sent into exile, which as I'm sure you'll know, if you've read 1984 rather than just watched the BBC show with that name, is a very different thing).


After last month's weighty debate about whether domestic abuse should be excused via the medium of popular song, I thought I'd choose something a bit lighter this month. Of course, the danger of that was that nobody would have much of an opinion either way... or, as Swiss Adam put it, "I can't really come up with anything for Mungo Jerry - I'm pretty ambivalent about it."

Membership of the Cancel Culture Club is on an unpaid, and entirely voluntary basis. So if you ain't got no opinion, you are fully entitled to say that and watch the tumbleweed blow across your screen. But before we see if anyone did have strong feelings one way or t'other, let's remind ourselves of this month's defendant...


When I initially searched the web for "songs that should be cancelled", this was one that initially had me scratching my head. A radio staple from my youth - what could possibly cause offence? 

C from Sun-Dried Sparrows... can you answer that question?

I'd almost forgotten about this one, sorry! But I think it's because 'In The Summertime' doesn't elicit any strong response in me other than the memories of hearing this so much as a kid and being mesmerised by Ray Dorset's sideburns on ToTP performances.  I'd never seen anyone like him.  I've never really given it much thought other than to accept it as one of those catchy, singalong, happy sounding songs, part of the soundtrack to  my childhood.  And, apologies, but to use words that come up so frequently in this series, it's another one of those that's very of its time.  Maybe we're being more conditioned to take things literally now, but to me this song is just too lightweight for the lyrics to be of concern that way.

Therefore - yes, it references drinking and driving, it's laddish and hedonistic, but it's just not a song to be taken seriously on any level. so I wouldn't cancel it.   

I'd cancel his sideburns, but that's just me.

(I think their follow-up 'Baby Jump' may give more cause for alarm - although it's a great grungey track!)


Baby Jump? What on earth's wrong with that, C?

She wears those micro-mini dresses
Hair hanging down her back
She wears those see-through sweaters
She likes to wear her stockings black
And if I see her tonight
You can bet your life, I'll attack

Oh.

OK.

Did I choose the wrong song this month?

She got beautiful teeth
A toothpaste ad-man's dream
She got a beautiful form
The best I've ever seen
I'm gonna get her tonight
I don't care where she been

On second thoughts - "a toothpaste ad-man's dream"? I hope that's not your best chat up line, Ray. Or you're definitely going home alone tonight.


Anyway, back to In The Summertime. I was just about to draw the shutters down on this particularly uninspiring edition of the Cancel Culture Club when a last minute missive flopped through my virtual letterbox. And boy oh boy... it was a doozy.


A hearty welcome back to SWC from No Badger Required...

There are a lot of things wrong with ‘In the Summertime’.  Obviously, there are the lyrics, but I’ll come back to them.  But before all that, you’ve got the awful plinky plonky piano nonsense that is trundling along in the background and the stupid noises that Ray Dorset makes across the song and all his grunts and groans that make it sound like he is dry humping his pillow during the closing bits of the song – all that I suppose is bad enough to cancel not only this song, but the band, their entire back catalogue and most of the seventies with it.  Frankly, I wouldn’t be surprised if ‘In The summetime’ erm, popped up in one of those awful ‘Confessions…’ films starring Robin Asquith.

Anyway, let’s look at the lyrics, which were, even 50 years ago, depressingly stalkerish.  You can imagine some crazed sex offender playing this track as he packed his little rape kit up and stuck it in the back of his Ford Anglia.

It starts, ok:
 
In the summertime, when the weather is high 
You can stretch right up and touch the sky.

There is not much wrong with that to be fair, although I’m not sure how weather can be high, but we can skip over that. It’s the, well, rest of it that is a bit squirmy.

When the weather's fine
You got women, you got women on your mind 
Have a drink, have a drive 
Go out and see what you can find

Hmm, women on your mind, eh, well we’ve probably all been there, but have a drink, have a drive, go out and see what you can find….  I’ll refer you back to my line about the crazed sex offender and his Ford Anglia. It, unbelievably, gets worse.

If her daddy's rich, take her out for a meal, 
If her daddy's poor, just do what you feel.  
Speed along the lane, do a ton or a ton and twenty-five. 
When the sun goes down 
You can make it, make it good in a lay-by

So….Ray….rich girls, needs to be spoiled, before they let you have your wicked way, but those poor working class lasses, well they’ll probably put out for 50p and a bag of grapes,  right??!?  

You can tell he's the South West Correspondent. "Bag of grapes"? How posh is that. It'd be a bag of chips where I come from, lad. 

Personally, I'm always impressed that they managed to get the word "lay-by" into a song, with all its sordid connotations. I was going to look if I could find any songs about dogging, but I decided to not risk putting that term into my search engine.


Apologies, SWC. Do continue...

But not content with a planned molesting of a some really unfortunate female, you are also going to scare the life out of her by driving at a hundred and twenty fives miles a hour, after ‘having a drink’ and then pull into some layby for a bit of how’s your father…I’ll refer you back to my comment about Robin Asquith…

But its ok, folks, because Ray has a philosophy….Oh goody.

We're not grey people, we're not dirty, we're not mean. 
We love everybody, but we do as we please.  
When the weather's fine, we go fishing or go swimming in the sea.  
We're always happy, life's for living
Yeah, that's our philosophy

Not quite sure which school of philosophy that comes from, possible Foucault and his Idea of Top Down Coercion or maybe Kant’s lesser known Theory of Blatant Misogynistic Bollocks. 

Ray – love – you are grey, you are dirty and you are pretty mean.  I don’t care if you love everybody, you really can’t do as you please, not now, not then.  That’s why Dave Lee Travis can’t be on the radio anymore, he had that attitude and it wasn’t cool.  Stick to your fishing and your swimming, at least then might get washed away by a rogue tidal wave.   

Ah, I do love a good rant. They're the very oxygen this feature lives by. So thank you to SWC for that - and the rest of you, with your mild ambivalence: look what you're missing.

We might do another one of these next month. Or this might really be the last gasp. That's my philosophy.



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