My Top Ten

Sunday, 8 November 2026

Snapshots #473: The Snapshots Job Centre!

Now then, Job-Seekers! Let's see if we can get all you lazy, good-for-nothing layabouts into gainful employment, shall we?

Let's see what jobs are on offer today...

15. She could be a grandma janitor now.

"A grandma janitor" was an anagram. Not a job. Pilot, on the other hand... well, I hope you have plenty of qualifications...

Joan Armatrading - Drop The Pilot

14. Calamari.

Squid - The Cleaner

13. Confused icon.

Nico - Janitor Of Lunacy

12. Flying without Wings.

Paul McCartney - Temporary Secretary

11. Sharon, Tracey, Dorien.

I never watched the TV show Birds of a Feather, but I understand those were their names.

Birds Of A Feather - Blacksmith Blues

10. The worst eBay muddle ever.

"Worst eBay" was an anagram.

The Waterboys - Fisherman's Blues

9. What links Herman Melville to Shaun Ryder?

Moby Dick meets Black Grape.

Moby Grape - Miller's Blues

8. These ladies are already queueing up to watch the new Avengers movie.

The Marvelettes - Please Mr. Postman

7. Not secured... or tight enough.

Loose Articles - Are You A Welder?

6. No one can hear them shooting.

The Silencers - Hey Mr. Bank Manager

5. Peck + Hayes & Asimov.

Gregory Isaacs - Night Nurse

4. Hugh Laurie meets and Jed Bartlett and Doyle.

Hugh played House. Jed Bartlett was played by Martin Sheen. Doyle by Martin Shaw.

Housemartins - Me And The Farmer

There's some great dancing in that video.

3. Get your brand new ecstasy tablets here!

Fresh Es! Get your Fresh Es!

The Freshies - I'm in Love With the Girl on the Manchester Virgin Megastore Checkout Desk

2. Mark Everett is feeling down.

E is Sad.

Sade - Smooth Operator

1. Fry Greta. Refry. Simple enough instructions, if a little muddled.

Gerry Rafferty - Baker Street

If you think some of those were a bit obscure, you should see some of the ones I rejected. More employment opportunities later in the week...

Saturday, 7 November 2026

Saturday Snapshots #473

What a drag it is getting old, eh? Still, count your blessings - you can still play Snapshots on a Saturday morning.

Who are the people below and how are their songs conncted?

15. She could be a grandma janitor now.

14. Calamari.

13. Confused icon.

12. Flying without Wings.

11. Sharon, Tracey, Dorien.

10. The worst eBay muddle ever.

9. What links Herman Melville to Shaun Ryder?

8. These ladies are already queueing up to watch the new Avengers movie.

7. Not secured... or tight enough.

6. No one can hear them shooting.

5. Peck + Hayes & Asimov.

4. Hugh Laurie meets and Jed Bartlett and Doyle.

3. Get your brand new ecstasy tablets here!

2. Mark Everett is feeling down.

1. Fry Greta. Refry. Simple enough instructions, if a little muddled.

Hopefully you didn't need Mother's Little Helper to crack those...

Friday, 6 November 2026

Annoying People At Gigs #4: There's Always Someone Cooler Than You

Here's another blast from the past - from February, 2011, when you could still get gig tickets for £25! Let's see what happened when I went to see Ben Folds back then...

So on Saturday night, me and Dave spent £25 each on a pair of tickets to see Craig talk to his girlfriend, live at the Sheffield Academy. Craig's a particularly talented young performance artist, able to hold a pint of beer in each hand while telling hilarious stories about all the amazing things that have happened to him on Facebook (Yes... On. Facebook.)

On Saturday though, Craig found himself having to compete with a fucking musician - Ben Folds, you might have heard of him, some American piano playing geek - and his band, who'd taken it upon themselves to pitch up at the same venue and start playing songs on the stage while Craig was telling his hilarious Facebook stories. As a result, Craig had to shout to be heard over the top of this inconsiderate yank and many of Craig's audience didn't catch the subtle nuances of his ~~drunken ramble~~ profound storytelling.

Dave and I were lucky though, we'd found the best place in the house - Craig and his insipid girlfriend were standing right behind us! That's like front row seats - and we didn't have to pay any extra! Unfortunately, as the show progressed, Dave decided he'd rather listen to Ben Folds sing his witty, heartfelt songs than to hear Craig go on and on about how he refused to accept Trevor's Friend Request... so we had to move away from the performance area and closer to the stage where Folds was giving it his all, Jerry Lee Lewising the piano for all his worth, making up songs on the spot from lyrics given to him by members of the audience, covering The Divine Comedy and Kansas (though not, sadly, playing Belinda or Doc Pomus) and generally being one of the most energetic, passionate and creative live acts you'll ever see...

...but still not a patch on Facebook Craig.

If you have a story about an annoying person you encountered at a gig, please send it to me via the electronic mail. Otherwise, I'll keep digging in the archives...

Thursday, 5 November 2026

The Best Medicine #5: The Comedy Ending

When Jewish American songwriter Shalom Giskan changed his name to Kenny Young, he snagged a job working in the Brill Building in the early 60s. He wrote and co-wrote a bunch of hits, most notably Under The Boardwalk and The Captain Of Your Ship...

The Drifters - Under The Boardwalk

Reparata & The Delrons - The Captain Of Your Ship

In the late 60s, he moved to London and continued writing songs, as well as forming the band Fox with singer Noosha Fox...

Fox - S-S-S-Single Bed

A little later in the 70s, he returned to the charts as part of Yellow Dog, a band who were true One Hit Wonders with the song below.

Now I've been listening to this song quite a lot lately. Don't ask me why. OK, then, go on, you can ask me.

Because it makes me smile. And smiles are a pretty rare commodity round these parts.

Now I'm fully prepared to admit that One More Night might be considered a very annoying song. Having worked in radio, I know there will have been some DJs who will have faded it out before the comedy ending. But actually, I quite like a good comedy ending on a pop song. You certainly don't get those any more. I've been trying to think of some other examples, but I'm coming up blank. Can anyone suggest any?