One Track Summer #11: The Wedding Singer

Why did nobody tell me XXXXX had a new album out last year?

I could start a whole new series with that title. Forget the algorithms, they're useless. When I "LIKE" an artist, I'd expect the streaming service to tell me they've got a new record out. Maybe give it priority over another bloody Van Morrison live recording from 1969? 

It's just so hard to keep up.

Anyway, this time it's Jens Lekman, my favourite Swedish pop star, with apologies to Benny, Bjorn and Robyn. Songs for Other People's Weddings reveals that since 2004, Jens has been moonlighting as a wedding singer, and here he chronicles so of the bizarre experiences that's led to, with his customary wit and wisdom...

Waiting by the urinal
for my turn behind two guys
who are taking their time since they are
dressed in an oversized
tuxedo that combines
their bodies into one
Two arms, three legs, a bowtie
A smile as bright as the sun
As if they’ve been conjoined twins since time begun

Their names are Jun and Arthur, they’re getting married today
I’ve been hired as their wedding singer, they know me by the letter J
They’ve just learned that with a suit like this it’s hard to pee
So while one guy does his business, the other turns to me
And says sorry they couldn’t pay much and I say it’s fine
Cause I’m having the time of my life
The drinks are free and after all I
make a fortune from my streams on Spotify
And we laugh and they struggle to zip up their fly

If I'd known, I might have asked him to play at my wedding. Yeah, like I'd have been able to afford that...

One Track Summer #10: Geese & Cobras

Geese are from Brooklyn, and they've been kicking around for the past ten years, so I don't know why it's taken me so long to discover them. 

This track comes from their latest album, Getting Killed, released last year. It's wormed its way into my brain with repeated plays and it will not let go.

One Track Summer #9: Encyclopedi-ite

Billy Reeves was the songwriter and guitarist in 90s indie band theaudience, the group that gave Sophie Ellis-Bextor a leg up to stardom. This was their crowning glory...

theaudience - I Know Enough (I Don't Get Enough)

Billy left the group in '98 and he's had a pretty chequered history since then, including a near-fatal car accident in 2001 and a place in the Guinness Book of Records for releasing the world's first playable jigsaw puzzle with the band Sugar Coat in 2006.

Since then, he's worked as a journalist, a radio producer and a football commentator.

But he still makes music too, and this is from his lates album, Postwar, which will be out in August. And he's got the Bluebells backing him on this track, but don't let that put you off if you're George...

Your mum let me in

To your room

I felt like I was raiding

King Tut's Tomb

Namesakes #199: Holy Mackerel!

The phrase "Holy Mackerel!" didn't originate on the Batman TV show. Apparently it dates back much further, to the Black American radio comedy of the 1920s, Amos & Andy. Holy Guacamole, on the other hand, definitely came from Robin. Unfortunately, I couldn't find any bands called Holy Guacamole... so if you're looking for a name nobody's used...

Holy Mackerel, on the other hand... well, you wouldn't be the first.

THE HOLY MACKEREL #1

We start our fishy journey in LA in the year 1968, when songwriter Paul Williams failed the audition to become one of The Monkees. In retaliation, he formed The Holy Mackerel... though things didn't quite go to plan and the band's first three singles failed to make any ripples across the pond. By the time their debut album was released, the group were no more, though Williams went on to write hits for Three Dog Night and The Carpenters (including We've Only Just Begun).

The Holy Mackerel - Wildflowers

HOLY MACKEREL #2

A couple of years later, a British Holy Mackerel surfaced in Kent. To quote a blog post about this band from 2012, "In the early 1970s music was more polarized between quality and complete lack thereof than any time in the previous decade since the psychedelic era and the beat boom." The writer then goes on to slag off The Night Chicago Died by Paper Lace, so phooey to him.

I'll let George decide whether these guys represent quality or a complete lack thereof, but I quite like the tune below, which I first heard on Natasha Raskin-Sharp's old BBC Radio Scotland show before they kicked her off for playing records nobody'd ever heard of. Bastards.

Holy Mackerel - Going To The Country

THE HOLY MACKEREL #3

And then, in 1996... along comes Les Claypool, lead singer and bass player with offbeat American rock band Primus. Fancying something a little bit different on his day off, he formed his own Holy Mackerel... and even wrote an eponymous theme song...

Les Claypool & The Holy Mackerel - Holy Mackerel

THE HOLY MACKEREL #4

I have a number of reasons for including these guys, even though I'm sure they fall foul of regulations. Firstly, we should always give Christian Rock a chance. It's the Christian thing to do. Secondly, the photo above features some very bad cutting out and Pritt Stick arrangement - respect for that. Thirdly, it's bound to wind George up. Win - win - win,

The Holy Mackerel Praise Band - Take My Hand

HOLY MACKEREL #5

And if we allowed that, we should surely find it in our hearts to give these San Francisco dudes from 2018 a little love...

Johnny & The Holy Mackerels - Pink Tomfoolery 

HOLY MACKEREL #6

And finally, pray be seated for a German Holy Mackerel from 2020...

Holy Mackerel - Sit Down

Which is your Holy Mackerel... and which is just Guacamole?

One Track Summer #8: Heavy Foot

Mon Rovîa is named after the place of his birth, the capital of Liberia, on the West African coast.

I think he lives in Nashville now. He's certainly taken to playing Grand Ole Opry... but his sound isn't immediately the kind of thing you'd expect to hear there. 

There was a time when a lyric like this might have been more appropriate for certain parts of Africa than the USA. Nowadays... well, what do you think?

Do you see the man on the street

Just fighting for a meal to eat

You can write him off as a lunatic

But it coulda been you or me

If we didn't ever find our feet 

Love me now

Hold me down

And the government

Staying on heavy foot

And they tried to keep us all down

No they never gonna keep us all down