2020 Contenders: Peter Pandemic

I choked on a fish finger while watching Charlie Brooker's Anti Viral Wipe. It was the description of Health Minister Matt Hancock that did it. That is my favourite line of the year.

Art Brut and We Are Scientists have released a split collection called The Wasabi EP. This makes it quite timely as Sam's favourite game at the moment is Sushi Go, and Wasabi is the card he always wants to get.

The first half involves We Are Scientists covering a couple of Art Brut songs, followed by a somewhat ill-advised tag team version of Handle With Care by the Travelling Wilburys. The second half features four new Art Brut songs. Which is good enough for me.

This is my favourite, and I think you might appreciate it, even if you're not an Art Brut fan. It's called Record Store day and the opening line is "Jack White's got a lot to answer for..." What else do you need? Oh, yes...

Those records aren't for playing

Those records are for eBaying!

Art Brut do not make limited edition singles

We make TOO MANY

There is a surplus...

Positive Songs For Negative Times #19: The Tip

The tips have been closed since the lockdown began, but this week they were tentatively re-opened. Louise (who likes to regularly order me to throw out anything I haven't used in a week because she hates clutter) immediately ordered me to clean out the garage, fill the car with 6 weeks of garden waste, and make a journey to the nearest household waste site.

Tuesday morning, before work (from home), I did just that. The tips open at 8am round here and I arrived at 20 past... only to find a queue stretching round the metaphorical block. I turned around and headed home, thinking maybe I'd try again a little earlier the next day.

Wednesday morning, I was there at 7.40. There were approximately 20 cars in front of me. So I waited. 2 cars in, 2 cars out. At 8.50, I finally got to the front of the queue. I drove in and was waved to one of two designated parking bays where I was allowed to dump a good proportion of my rubbish. Not the glass, because the bottle banks were closed. Not the tetra packs, because I'd been directed to Bay 2 and the tetra pack disposal thing is in Bay 1. I wasn't allowed to walk past the driver in Bay 1 to use that, so I drove them home again. At least I got rid of that stinky garden waste.

I'm not writing this down in outrage - the restrictions are what they are. I'm writing it down to remember. Because these are the details we'll forget, and we shouldn't ever forget.

Here's my favourite song about household waste...


 

2020 Contenders: The Day The Politicians Died

I was delighted to discover that The Magnetic Fields have a new album out, packed with loads of short songs that are packed with pith, wit and things that'll make you nod your head and go "mmm".

Case in point, the track featured below: The Day The Politicians Died.

I'll just leave this here for you to ponder...

Billions laughed and no one cried

The day the politicians died

Celebrations spread worldwide

The day the politicians died

Even their own mothers

Their own husbands and wives

Said, "Now all men are brothers,

Let's get on with our lives"

Billions laughed and no one cried

The day the politicians died

Celebrations spread worldwide

The day the politicians died

We've risen from the mud

We're different from the beasts

We've got the taste for blood

So let's eat all the priests

Billions laughed and no one cried

The day the politicians died

Celebrations spread worldwide

The day the politicians died

It's all one big party now

'Cause all the politicians died

Pause In Transmission

Well, it was bound to happen.

#7 on the Hot 100 is proving a bigger post than even I can manage in just one week.

I'll get it to you as soon as I can.

In the meantime, here's a fine tune from the new Sparks album. I'm thinking of playing this to my students once we get back into the classroom. (Whenever that might be.) The chorus is particularly apt for teachers everywhere...

Your Suggestions Needed...

You'll be pleased to know that we hit our Kickstarter target for the latest issue of Department of the Peculiar, so Rob has come up with an excellent "extra" to give away with the comic if we hit our stretch goal. (Believe me, I don't understand any of this stuff.)

Because the writer is a sadist, the script for the latest issue required Rob to draw a wall full of portraits of dead rock stars. To be honest, when I wrote that, I thought he'd just do thumbnail sketches... but, Rob being Rob, he ended up doing full portraits... of loads and loads of them.

(Believe me, that's not all of them.)

These went down pretty well when he posted them on Facebook, so Rob came up with the idea of publishing them in a CD booklet. And because it wasn't really fair that the lazy writer got away with doing bugger all for this venture, Rob asked me to write the liner notes.

I came up with a couple of ideas, thinking about what else you'd find in a CD booklet, and decided to write up a track-listing for this imaginary record. Just like the kind of nonsense list / mix I've been writing here for years.

So I've started compiling a list of songs by dead rock stars about death / dying / living forever / etc. etc. etc. This kind of thing...

Hank Williams - I’ll Never Get Out Of This World Alive 

John Prine - When I Get To Heaven

Faron Young - Live Fast, Love Hard, Die Young 

Jeff Buckley - Last Goodbye

John Denver - Leaving On A Jet Plane

Warren Zevon - Keep Me In Your Heart

I have a few more, but because I'm scared of missing out some obvious ones, I thought I'd throw it open to you guys and see if you had any further suggestions.

Here are the rules...

1. The singer (preferably songwriter) has to be dead.

I rejected Who Wants To Live Forever? by Queen because it was written by Brian, not Freddie.

2. The song title has to be about life or death, heaven or hell... it can't just be in the lyrics.

I rejected Come As You Are by Nirvana... but I'd probably have included it if Kurt had called the song "I Don't Have A Gun".

Similarly, I couldn't include My Generation by The Who even though it contains the perfect line ("Hope I die before I get old") because the title doesn't allude to life or death, and the songwriters are still with us.

3. I'll also accept songs where the songwriter appears to have eerily predicted their own demise - like the John Denver one above.

Above is the cover to the "Heroes" booklet, featuring Mal (our character) posing as Bowie.

As always, your wisdom will be gratefully received.

And now, because I didn't have time last week to pay proper tribute to Little Richard...


More information on the Department of the Peculiar Kickstarter here.