My Top Twenty of 2020: #15

 

The neighbours on the other side seemed a bit less annoying than hipster-bearded, Maroon 5-loving, summer house boy. Their daughter, a young trainee nurse, even liked to bake cakes and share them with her neighbours. Ah, the dream.

Then, inexplicably, she bought a boy racer car with two huge exhaust pipes that you could hear coming all the way from Heckmondwyke. And because she was a nurse, and worked shifts, she would often arrive home at 1, 2am and park up on their drive with the engine running while she… actually, I have no idea what she was doing, but she had to keep the engine rumbling for it. 

Just getting it all off my chest…

Three old favourites released new music this year. All fine records in their own right, but hardly up there with their best. 

Jarvis Cocker continued his descent into weirdness with Beyond The Pale, moving further than ever from a Pulp reunion… with some amusing offerings, but nothing quite essential.

Sparks released another strong late-stage Sparks album. A Steady Drip, Drip, Drip, that captivated me for a couple of weeks, but soon slipped out of rotation. iPhone is still one of my songs of the year though.

And Eddie Argos furthered the Art Brut comeback by teaming up with We Are Scientists for The WASABI EP. They recorded each others’ songs, covered The Travelling Wilburys, and stuck a couple of enjoyable new Art Brut tracks on the end. Record Store Day remains a favourite.

2020 Contenders: Peter Pandemic

I choked on a fish finger while watching Charlie Brooker's Anti Viral Wipe. It was the description of Health Minister Matt Hancock that did it. That is my favourite line of the year.

Art Brut and We Are Scientists have released a split collection called The Wasabi EP. This makes it quite timely as Sam's favourite game at the moment is Sushi Go, and Wasabi is the card he always wants to get.

The first half involves We Are Scientists covering a couple of Art Brut songs, followed by a somewhat ill-advised tag team version of Handle With Care by the Travelling Wilburys. The second half features four new Art Brut songs. Which is good enough for me.

This is my favourite, and I think you might appreciate it, even if you're not an Art Brut fan. It's called Record Store day and the opening line is "Jack White's got a lot to answer for..." What else do you need? Oh, yes...

Those records aren't for playing

Those records are for eBaying!

Art Brut do not make limited edition singles

We make TOO MANY

There is a surplus...

My Top Ten Dinosaur Songs (Volume One)

As there's a new Jurassic Park World movie out this week, it seems an appropriate time to dust off a Top Ten that's been sitting in the cupboard for a while now.

This is part one though... next week, I'll do tens songs about specific dinosaurs (or at least ones that mention specific dinosaurs). I have a fair few pterodactyls, brontosauruses and (obviously) T-Rex, but your suggestions are welcome.

In the meantime, special mention must obviously go to... Dinosaur Jr, The Last Dinosaurs, Brontosaurus Chorus, Jurassic Five and... Marc Bolan.


10. We Are Scientists - Dinosaurs

They are scientists, so obviously they understand natural selection.

9. King Crimson - Dinosaur

Because if I didn't include this, somebody would be complaining.

I'm a dinosaur, somebody's digging my bones

8. The Stills - Dinosaurs

Dinosaurs as a metaphor for the end of a relationship, presumably.

7.  Hank Williams Jr. - Dinosaur

He is a dinosaur - and proud of it!

6. Low - Dinosaur Act

God bless the Mormons. At least they're not Creationists.

See also Matthew Sweet - Dinosaur Act - not the same song.

5. Emmy The Great - Dinosaur Sex

Speaking of evolutionary theory...

And dinosaur sex led to nothing
And maybe we will lead to nothing
And dinosaur sex led to nothing
But we will lead as far as we can lead

4. King Missile - Dinosaurs

I wanna know
About the dinosaurs
I don't know about the dinosaurs
I wanna know about the dinosaurs
Dinosaurs
Dinosaurs

Make up your mind, guys.

Beyond that indecision, this is proper mental. Hence: very good.

3. Weird Al Yankovic - Jurassic Park

Want another reason to love Jimmy Webb? He had final approval on this glorious MacArthur Park parody... and he thought it was hilarious.

Someone let T-Rex out of his pen...

2. Johnny Cash - Dinosaur Song

The wonder of Johnny Cash - he could even make kids' songs sound cool.

One was called Diplodocus
One was bigger than your school bus
One was called a Triceratops
Three horns to stop anything that hops

See also Dinosaur Pet by Neil Sedaka, sung to the tune of Calendar Girl. Obviously.

1. Was (Not Was) - Walk The Dinosaur

Well, it had to be really, didn't it?

Boom boom, acka-lacka-lacka boom!

Any more dinosaurs in your collection? (And no, I don't count Bob Dylan.) Specific dinosaurs would be welcome for next week.

My Top Ten Bang Songs

Because everybody enjoys a good bang. It's onomatopoeiatastic.

Special mention to The Bangles, natch.



10. Shirley Bassey - Mr. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

Not an official Bond theme, but written by John Barry and performed by Dame Shirl, it might as well be.

He's fast and he's cool
He's from the school that loves and leaves 'em
A pity if it grieves 'em
Mr. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang's not a fool...

David Gedge stole the title for an excellent Cinerama song, but the internet let me down on that one.

9. B.A. Robertson - Bang Bang

The 70s king of bad lyrical puns strikes again!

Tony and Cleo struck out for the freeo down Egypt's way
But Caesar had squeezed her in Rome on his quilt for a day
Hey, hey

Now Anthony got really angry
Oh oh Caesar's hanky panky
She told em she would use em
And boy did she abuse em
Fall in love and blew em away

Ouch. That's B.A...D.

8. The Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Bang

And here's why I wouldn't ever... with Karen O. I couldn't handle the post-match commentary.

7. They Might Be Giants - Bangs

Why do Americans not just call it a fringe like everybody else?

6 Blur - Bang

Early Blur, from back when they were more baggy than Britpop. They Might Be Giants would consider Blur's haircuts perfect for this track.

5. Divine Comedy - Bang! Goes The Knighthood

Neil Hannon updates Noel Coward for the Miss Whiplash era.

So chain me, restrain me and teach me to kneel
Bind me and grind me beneath your high heels
Crack goes the whip and if someone should tell
Bang goes the knighthood, as well

4. Nancy Sinatra - Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down)

Written by the late Mr. Bono (Sonny, not the other one... he's not late... and I don't want him ever to die because I don't think I'd be able to stomach the fawning obits) and originally a hit for his ex-missus. But Nancy's version edges that one out, for me... it's just that little bit more tragic.

3. Art Brut - Bang Bang Rock 'n' Roll

I'll admit it: my love of Art Brut is disproportionate to all the other, more famous artists in the history of pop music. Perhaps because I have a sneaking suspicion that if I'd ever had the guts to form a band, they've have sounded a lot like Eddie Argos and his motley crew. (They'd certainly have sounded more like Art Brut than they would Mötley Crüe.)

I don't want a girl that's with the band
I just want a girl that's gonna hold my hand
No more songs about sex and drugs and Rock and Roll
It's boring!

That said, I don't share Eddie's apparent disregard for The Velvet Underground.

We Are Scientists do an amazing cover of this track too... so good, it sounds like an actual rock song!

2. REM - Bang and Blame

According to Iffypedia, this was REM's most successful single since Shiny Happy People and they've not had a more successful record since. I find that a little hard to believe considering that makes it "more successful" than Man On The Moon, Drive, The Great Beyond, What's The Frequency, Kenneth? and Everybody Hurts (among others). Perhaps it was a much bigger hit in the rest of the world than it was in the UK? Anyway, it's a good song... but not as good as the ones mentioned above.

1. The Stone Roses - She Bangs The Drums

From the opening hi-hat tickles to the euphoric chorus, this could well be the Roses' finest moment: it describes the way we feel. (If only we felt that way more often!) And while many might balk at the idea of kissing Ian Brown where the sun don't shine, you can't fault his choice of breakfast: passionfruit and holy bread. Yum.




Which one gets you banging?