Celebrity Jukebox #78: David Hockney

So I'm in the Tate

And I'm looking at a Hockney

And oh, Sweet Jesus!

There's something about that blue

It touches me deep inside

Amazes me when I step outside

I'm sweating

I'm sweating

I'm beginning to palpitate

I can't help myself

I just can't help myself

Modern art

Makes me

Want to rock out!

I don't know a lot about art, but I like a fair bit of David Hockney's work. He used colour very well. 

Miniature Tigers - Afternoons With David Hockney

Coals - Hockney

Polock - Hockney

I figured there wouldn't be a shortage of songs that mentioned the world-famous, Bradford-born artist... and I wasn't wrong. There's even a song that beat Sting to the punch...

Godley & Creme - An Englishman In New York

Defecting Russian dancers dance into Hockney prints

Exclusive to Bloomingdale's, gift-wrapped in red

No, that's not the Sting song. Kevin & Lol got there first. 

What else can we find?

Crayon drawing on the label

Looks like a David Hockney

But I knew it probably wouldn’t taste nice

Yet somehow it grabbed me

The Orielles - I Only Bought It for the Bottle

How about some Hamish?

It's the quiet times that really do me in

Disastrous indecision, walking in the shadow of a drawing pin

In a raincoat, on a Monday etc

Mocking all of my Hockney ephemera

Rare plagiarisms, superimpositions of Karen and Cohen

Hamish Hawk - Once Upon An Acid Glance

Meanwhile, Dan Bern is going to have to do a rewrite...

I decided I wasn't ever gonna paint again

It didn't bother me too much

Warhol's dead

David Hockney's still alive

I don't need to paint

Dan Bern - Estelle

Jake Shillingford likes to swim in a Hockney pool too...

Take a dip into the Hockney blue

Your heart will lead your hands

And you will fly

Dive

My Life Story - I Dive (Unanswered Questions and Questionable Answers)

And, of course, Nigel has something to say...

Well, I just cycled in to the

Pine floored living room

Pissed on the mystics

Scoffed at the Hockney

Took all the road signs

Back to the council

Put my foot through the TV

Not that they’d notice

Winced at the film trivia

Book at the bog-side

Burst all the bean bags

Smoked all the French fags

Hey Mr. Gauloises

Où est le hubcaps?

Half Man Half Biscuit - Song of Encouragement for the Orme Ascent

Then there's these guys...

I want to be in magazines

And be part of the scene

I want to see my paintings hang

In every gallery

I want the world to stop and stare

Whenever it sees me

But most of all I want to be

In David Hockney's diaries

Final word today though comes from another famous Yorkshire artist, this one in poetry, not paint...

Namesakes #193: The Offspring

Imagine you're a new parent, dreaming that your precious little cherubs might one day grow up to form their own band... and maybe even achieve the ultimate musical accolade of being featured on Namesakes. If so, don't let your offspring call their combo The Offspring, because they'll have missed their big chance...

OFFSPRING #1

We start today in southern England in the glorious year of 1972. This Offspring appear to have released only one record... though it did get them an appearance on LWT. Mike Brayn would go on to write disco tunes about UFOs for Sylvia Love. The honour of getting your song on a Bob Stanley compilation would have to wait for another 50 years or so...

Offspring - Windfall

OFFSPRING #2

New Wave snyth-pop group from 1982 featuring Bo Diddley's daughter, Tammi McDaniel, on vocals. Or so discogs would like us to believe. Further investigation appears to reveal that guitarist Scott Deverin Smith was also a Diddley collaborator, and that Tammi's sister, Terri Lynn McDaniel-Bridge, was also in the band. If that's not enough, Bo gets a songwriting credit on the B-side under his real name Ellas McDaniel. I can't find that track online, but it's possible it's a snythy remake of this.

Do you have any questions?

Offspring - Too Many Questions

OFFSPRING #3

British Oi! punks from some time in the 80s...

Offspring - Nightlife

OFFSPRING #4

Soulful sounds from the UK in 1990...

Offspring - Midnight Blues

THE OFFSPRING #5

Definitive Californian pop-punks who made it very big towards the end of the last century by mocking middle class white kids who talk like black inner city rappers. With nine UK Top 40 hits under their belt (including a Number One), they're not to be sneered at. (Not that that will stop George.)

The Offspring - Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)

Which is your cherished cherub today... and which will you be writing out of the will?

Snapshots Spillover - More Songs About Girls With The First Initial P

Paloma Faith introduces our final selection of songs about ladies whose name begins with P, giving me an excuse to play another tune we used to perform in my brass band days...

George Baker Selection - Paloma Blanca

No, we weren't going with the Jonathan King version.

Before we go any further, I will admit that I couldn't find any songs addressed to Prunella... but I did find a band named after everyone's favourite Sybil...

Prunella Scales - When

These guys were obvious contenders for the weekend's countdown, but I struggled to come up with another clue for them, beyond ones I've used before...

Scritti Politti - Oh Patti (Don't Feel Sorry For Loverboy)

Meanwhile, here's an old Namesakes favourite...

The Cortinas - Phoebe's Flower Shop

There are some girls named after the capital of France... which led me to think of this...

Style Council -  Paris Match

Although this might have been more appropriate...

Morrissey - I'm Throwing My Arms Around Paris

Here are some more I didn't have room for...

Paul & Paula - Hey Paula

I fear that would have given away the link too obviously.

Miranda Lambert - Priscilla

Miranda was bumped at the last second for Annie Lennox.

Terry Noland - Patty Baby

Guns N' Roses - Patience

...or I might even have gone with this...

Take That - Patience

Don't judge me. That's one of their better offerings. If The Verve had recorded that song (and I can hear Richard Ashcroft singing it), we'd be calling it a classic. Much as I dislike Gary Barlow, he can write the odd decent pop tune.

The Peppers - Pepper Box

Classics IV - Pollyanna

The Flaming Groovies - Blues From Phyllis

And a couple of favourites to finish with...

Snapshots #452: Songs About Girl's Names Beginning With P

Patti Smith introduced our quiz yesterday. Polly Jean takes to the stage today.

Here are some more ladies whose name begins with P...

15. Seven Council Fires steal an idea from Bob Marley's band.

Seven Council Fires, or Oceti Šakówiŋ, refers to the Great Sioux Nation. Bob Marley had some Wailers - which is just what Banshees do.

Siouxsie And The Banshees - Dear Prudence

14. Champion... or Chumpion?

Wunderhorse - Poppy

13. What's with these homies dissin' my girl?

The opening line to Weezer's biggest hit...

Buddy Holly - Peggy Sue

12. What you might shout at a small Beatle.

Hey Paulette - I Really Do Love You, Penelope

11. A Pratt of the Toun.

Actor Chris Pratt goes to de Burgh.

Chris de Burgh - Patricia The Stripper

10. Not a lot of kids called this these days... he almost claims. 

You may recall a song we featured here a few weeks back about how there aren't many kids called Gary these days. It helps if you pay attention to the rest of this blog, not just the Snapshots.

Clail is almost a Claim.

Gary Clail & The On U-Sound System - Who Pays The Piper?

9. A way or an end... he's got a thing going on with the Mrs.

Howard's Way or Howard's End? Me and Mrs. Jones had a thing going on.

Howard Jones - Pearl In The Shell

8. PM's unruly airfares questioned.

"PM's unruly airfares" was an anagram.

Super Furry Animals - Hermann Loves Pauline

7. Could only eat half a cannibal.

Toto Coleo were known for eating Cannibals. These guys are half as good.

Toto - Pamela

6. Not named after Thomas, but some rocks off the coast of Cornwall.

It's Eddystone Lighthouse, if you want to be pedantic about it.

Edison Lighthouse - It's Up To You, Petula

5. Sounds like an appendage you don't want to stub - twice!

Men - try not to stub your cock-toe.

Cocteau Twins - Persephone 

...or you could have had...

Cocteau Twins - Pandora (for Cindy)

4. Piers is a Free Man.

Piers Morgan... or Morgan Freeman?

Morgan - Miss Parker

3. Good man makes a bullock of himself - let me die in your arms!

Len Goodman with his Ox.

"Let me die in your arms!" is a line from Annie's Song.

Annie Lennox - Precious

2. Ivan ran till he felt less confused.

"Ivan ran" was an anagram.

Nirvana - Polly

1. The Blair Rich Project. 

Lionel Blair gets Rich...ie.

Lionel Richie - Penny Lover

Incredibly, that is the first time Lionel Richie has ever appeared on Snapshots. I know - what's wrong with me!?

Hopefully you don't want Rid Of Me yet. If not, Snapshots will be back next week.

Saturday Snapshots #452

Because the night belongs to lovers, I always wait until 8.30 on a Saturday morning to unleash the week's Snapshots. You can thank me later.

Who are these people and how might their songs be connected?

15. Seven Council Fires steal an idea from Bob Marley's band.

14. Champion... or Chumpion?

13. What's with these homies dissin' my girl?

12. What you might shout at a small Beatle.

11. A Pratt of the Toun.

10. Not a lot of kids called this these days... he almost claims. 

9. A way or an end... he's got a thing going on with the Mrs.

8. PM's unruly airfares questioned.

7. Could only eat half a cannibal.

6. Not named after Thomas, but some rocks off the coast of Cornwall.

5. Sounds like an appendage you don't want to stub - twice!

4. Piers is a Free Man.

3. Good man makes a bullock of himself - let me die in your arms!

2. Ivan ran till he felt less confused.

1. The Blair Rich Project. 

Come on now, try to understand the answers... tomorrow morning.