I first encountered Philip Jeays about ten years ago when he was the support act for the comedian Robin Ince. An unusual combination, seeing a singer support a comedian, but Jeays' bitter, arch-eyebrowed, comic songs in the vein of Jacques Brel era Scott Walker fit the bill perfectly (and Ince is famous for being a bit of a muso).
After the show, I immediately ordered three CDs from Jeays' website and enjoyed the hell out of them. Time passed and he dropped off my radar. Recently, I saw those three CDs on the shelf and I started to wonder what had happened to him. Turns out he's continued to put out new music, I've just not been aware of it. Keeping up with artists who don't occupy the mainstream is always hard work.
To begin my catch-up, I downloaded his most recent album from bandcamp and was delighted to discover his caustic candle hadn't dimmed at all. And though he's only 56, the silver-haired old devil seemed a shoe-in as a Grumpy Old Man... as you'll hear below.
People travel miles To lay flowers for a child They never even knew It’s conspicuous compassion It’s sentiment as status It’s lining the procession Emotions are credentials When people crave importance Watch the angry man Run to hit the prison van Just look at how the rivers All run into the sea
There’s a man on my TV Showing me his MBE They pat him on the head And tell him he’s a good boy Everybody needs a prize To make them feel special A martyr has his paradise A mistress picks out something nice Have yourself another slice Buy into the dream Your life is over With your first down payment
(And there's a lot more where that came from if you listen to the whole song. Which I'd urge you to do, as the video only has 263 views on youtube, which is criminal if you ask me.)
I remember reading an article years ago about how the Dame had taken to writing songs by snipping up old newspapers and gluing random words together to create his lyrics. I wouldn't believe that for most of his songs...but this one? Damn straight.
Rarely a week goes by when I don't feel like a good Paddy. Here he is in his finest white suit, live on Wogan.
Say you do find your volcano and the darn thing is still hot...
Lesson one : Child don't waste it
Lesson two : The world's your cherry
But tomorrow ? Maybe not
Lesson three : Come on and taste it
Lost gem from the Britpop era; I'd forgotten how much I liked this. Seafruit's Geoff Barradale is now the manager of the Arctic Monkeys. In case you were wondering.
1989 was in many ways the nadir of 80s pop, but there were faint glimmers of sunshine from the likes of Hue & Cry and their best single, a trainbound love story with an alcoholic runaway who spent more on one packet of cigarettes than was wise, especially in them days.
Iffypedia calls Hue & Cry "sophisti-pop", lumping them in with the likes of Deacon Blue, The Style Council, The Blue Nile and Aztec Camera... yet, curiously, not Lloyd Cole... who's surely more sophistipop than the rest of them rolled together?
Appreciating the best but settling for less...Warren Zevon: never content. That's why we love him.
Don Quixote had his windmills Ponce de Leon took his cruise Took Sinbad seven voyages To see that it was all a ruse (That's why I'm) Looking for the next best thing...
From wayyyy back in 1980 when Batley Bob shared his eyeshadow with Gary Numan. Loved this song for years but never seen the video before... it's a terrifying Kubrickian nightmare. (And discovering amazing oddities like that is why I keep doing this blog.)
1. Tom Waits - (Looking For) The Heart of Saturday Night
The very definition of louche, this drips grubby atmosphere from every glorious note. Tom Waits at his very best.
Tell me, is it the crack of the pool balls, neon buzzing?
Telephone's ringing, it's your second cousin
Is it the barmaid that's smiling from the corner of her eye?
Magic of the melancholy tear in your eye...
Makes it kind of quiver down in the core
Cause you're dreaming of them Saturdays that came before
And now you're stumbling
You're stumbling onto the heart of Saturday night
Those were my favourite Looking For... songs. Were you Looking For... any I didn't include?
It was this or Scarborough Fair. And much as I love both Scarborough and Simon & Garfunkel, there's something about Scarborough Fair that represents folk music at its most twee. Call me a philistine, but I'd rather have lyrics that sing, "Behave yourself grandad, or you won’t be going..." than, "Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme". Maybe when I compile my Top Ten Herb Songs...
See also Mussels of Margate, written by Kurt Weill. Seriously, you can't make stuff like that up.
The lead singer of American Music Club probably isn't the first person you'd expect to hear singing a song about Southend... maybe that's why it works so well. Told from the perspective of "just another ugly American melting in the heat"...
You said to me "You're from California And you're as dumb as can be" You said to me "Are you the Scarecrow, the Tin Man Or are you Dorothy?" You said to me "I'm beginning to think that you're A part of the enemy" You said to me "If I was drowning would you save me From Southend-on-Sea?"
OK, so Dungeness isn't strictly a seaside town, it's a headland with a beach, a nuclear power plant and Derek Jarman's cottage on it. But let's pretend it's a big holiday destination, shall we? This song is quite, quite lovely.
Gets many extra marks for mentioning Filey, because Filey is ace.
Maybe she could tell her I’ve still got her umbrella She prized it rather highly It saved her once in Filey It came on all torrential And therefore it’s essential
The band Luxembourg also had a song called Broadstairs but the internet hasn't ever heard of it.
To quote my old music blogging hero, JC, The Vinyl Villain, "the b-side (to Geraldine) is a rather lovely romantic song about one of the least romantic coastal towns on Planet Earth." I've never been to Saltcoats so I'll have to bow to his native knowledge.
My favourite seaside town (I may even be there as you read this); I can think of at least two people who read this blog who would probably have made this Number One. And who knows, they may well be right.
Why do political parties always hold their conferences in seaside towns? Is it just so the waster politicians can ride the donkeys wearing Kiss Me Quick hats? A scathing attack on the Liberal Party (SDP) of the late 80s, this is "somewhat" dated now, but it still sounds wonderful. And there's no mention of Nick Clegg, which is always a bonus.
They wore enamel badges of David Steel on their sleeves And "nuclear power no thanks", "Not sure" and "yes please!" And their faces were two fold And their teeth they were gold And they wore their pinstripe suits With a rip at the knee
I'm out tonight and can't decide Between Soviet hip or British pride
Songs about badgers, marrying Anita Dobson, that hair... Bryan May's crimes against cool are considerable. But it's possible to forgive him everything just by listening to the guitar solo on Brighton Rock, one of the best songs he ever wrote. Plus, Freddie sings a duet with himself, taking on both male and female vocals. The tale of a doomed holiday romance and the mums and wives who ruin it.
"Jenny will you stay? Tarry with me, pray Nothing e'er need come between us Tell me love what do you say?" "Oh no I must away, to my mum in disarray If my mother should discover how I spent my holiday It would be of small avail to talk of magic in the air I'll say farewell..."
Other Brighton belters include Upside Down On Brighton Beach by Shirley Lee and You're Not From Brighton by local lad Norman 'Fatboy Slim' Cook. See also New Brighton Promenade by The Boo Radleys, though I suspect that'll be the New Brighton in Merseyside.
So... those are my favourite Seaside Town Songs... where will you be wearing a knotted hanky on your head this summer?
