Monday, 4 March 2013

My Top Ten Action Movie Songs

OK, here's the deal - none of these songs were featured in the movie in question and no theme tunes are allowed. They all just share their name with an action movie... or occasionally were written about one, after the fact.

10. The Eagles - Desperado

Probably the least appropriate song on this list, about as far from the Antonio Banderas ass-kicker in spirit as you can get. Still, if you dig the Eagles (unlike The Dude) it's a great song.

9. Public Enemy - Terminator X To The Edge Of Panic

Public Enemy: Scarier Than Arnie Ever Could Be.

8. The Alarm - The Rock

When your opening line goes like this...
I'm a man who bites hard on the bullet of silence
...who needs Nicolas Cage or Sean Connery?

See also The Rock by the mighty, mighty Harry Chapin.

7. The Ramones - Commando
First rule is: The laws of Germany
Second rule is: Be nice to your mommy
Third rule is: Don't talk to commies
Fourth rule is: Eat kosher salamis
How can anyone not love the Ramones?

6. The Sound - Total Recall

Lost 80s classic. Don't worry if you can't remember it - there's probably a hole in your memory.

5. Ben Folds - Rocky

 Ben's Rocky was a runner, not a boxer... a lover, not a fighter, to quote Michael.

4. Julian Cope - Mad Max

From the appropriately named Autogeddon. Julian doesn't need to hold a gun up to your head.

3. The Gorillaz - Dirty Harry

From the band who also brought you Clint Eastwood. Damon must be a fan.

2. Guyz Nite - Die Hard

A tribute to the greatest action movie ever... yippe-ki-yay!
Remember when we first met John McClane?
Argyle picked him up from the plane,
And took him down to Nakatomi Tower...
To meet with Holly.

He came to get her back and to be her man,
But Hans and his buddies fucked up the plan,
And that's about when everything went sour
At the Christmas party.

And the terrorists were over-zealous,
But it was sweet when they killed Ellis!
And, with a little help from Allen,
John McClane kicked ass!
This version has a verse for each of the first four Die Hard movies... I'm waiting patiently for the one with a new fifth verse.

1. Fight Like Apes - (Waking Up With) Robocop

Fight Like Apes are the best "new" band I've discovered in the last 12 months. "New" to me, at least, though they're already two albums in. They're one of those rare bands with crazy song titles... where the songs actually live up to (and in most cases are better than) the titles. Pay attention, Sufjan Stevens! This one, from their most recent album, 'The Body of Christ & The Legs of Tina Turner' is a great male-female argument song.
I remember when you criticised me
About picking The Face over Mr. T
But I remember when you took off
All of your clothes...

If waking up beside me
Feels so bleeding bad
Then waking up with Robocop
Is a lesson to be had
Hear more Fight Like Apes here.

Those were my action movie favourites... which is your Nakatomi Plaza?


  1. The first thing to spring to mind is 'Broken Arrow' by Neil Young, which has nothing to do with the John Travolta / Christian Slater action movie of the same name. There's also an Iron Maiden song called 'The Fugitive' (it's not very good at all but it's been a while since I mentioned them), and another I.M. song called 'Where Eagles Dare' (which is much better but probably better suited to a 'War Movie Songs' top 10).

    1. Yeah, I've got a War Movie Songs Top Ten in me somewhere, but I'm waiting till someone releases a song called Inglorious Basterds.

  2. Replies
    1. One of my Top Ten Favourite Blogposts EVER!

      You're welcome to guest-blog here anytime!

  3. Does Stars On 45 Star Wars count?

    1. Not since I already did Stars Wars Songs...

  4. you spelled "songs to put you to sleep" wrong

    1. Where? I can't find those words in this post.


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