Wednesday, 27 March 2013

My Top Ten Rock Star Songs

The perils and pleasures of life as a rock 'n' roll star... in ten easy-to-singalong songs.

10. Ben Folds - Rock Star
You're a slave to these people who
Don't even know you
You think they adore you
They do
Then they throw you away
9. Oasis - Rock 'n' Roll Star

No other song sums up the best... and worst... of Oasis. If only they hadn't tried so very, very hard to live up to it.

Louise just walked in and gave me a really strange look. "Are you listening to Oasis!?!"

I live to surprise and confound.

8. David Essex - Gonna Make You A Star

"I don't think so."

7. Nickelback - Rockstar

Yes, yes, I know. You're far too cool to like Nickelback. Screw you.

6. Everclear - Rock Star

 Kind of like the Nickelback it's almost OK to like.

Everybody everywhere wants to be famous
And everybody everywhere wishes they could tell
Everybody everywhere to go to hell

5. Bill Wyman - (Si Si) Je Suis Un Rock Star

Bill Wyman may have been the most boring man in the Rolling Stones, but I always thought that was rather an unfair contest when you consider the competition. Still, this may well be his finest moment. It proves what a wag he really was. The video's hilarious too. 
Je suis un rock star
Je avais un residence
Je habiter la
A la south of France
Voulez vous
Partir with me?
And come and rester la
With me in France
4. The Byrds - So You Want To Be A Rock 'n' Roll Star

Actually, no, I never did. I always wanted to be a writer. Pretty much missed the boat on that one.

3. Pink - So What

Pink's purest moment of petulant punk-pop in which she gives her ex the finger, because, "So what? I'm still a rock star!" The hilariously cartoon video positions Pink as a 21st Century Billy Idol, with added irony. What's not to love?

2. The Buggles - Video Killed The Radio Star

Would have been Number One if it actually mentioned a Rock Star. Still... Trevor Horn's finest moment. And that's saying something, from the man who produced Owner Of A Lonely Heart.

1. Amanda Palmer - Do It With A Rockstar

What helps AFP stand triumphant over the many fine records below is that this epic is quite unique among rock stars songs, presenting as it does the tale of a needy, neurotic rockstar begging a groupie to stay the night. The honesty of her true intentions...
I don't want your body
Just a part to listen to INXS
All the practice in the world
Won't get me good at loneliness-ness
...are beautifully contrasted by her more desperately persuasive "do you really wanna miss this chance?" chat up routine...
Do you wanna go back home?
Your animals are all alone
Oh, there's a chicken waiting on the stove
And your cousin left his DVD of swinging in the '70s
Or do you wanna go back home
Check your messages and charge your phone?
Oh, are you really sure
You wanna go
When you could
Do it with a rock star?
The video, entertaining though it is in a NSFW way, doesn't really do that dichotomy justice. But it's a wonderful track, and like Pink's song above, a record I just couldn't stop hitting "replay" on when I first got it. God knows what Neil Gaiman thinks, if AFP's actually like this in real life though...

Which one would you throw out the hotel window?


  1. How about Prince - "Baby I'm A Star"?

    1. Gets you half a point. Because Prince is half-sized and because it's probably not on youtube.

  2. I meant to comment on this but daughter and I went off on a stones YouTube safari and we forgot to come back. Please take solis that I read them all be sometimes we just get swept away in the music! Sorry.


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