Wednesday, 8 November 2017

My Top 90 Mid-Life Crisis Songs #8: 84 is the new 64

If ever there was a song that got old before its time, it's When I'm 64 by The Beatles.
I could be handy, mending a fuse
When your lights have gone
You can knit a sweater by the fireside
Sunday mornings go for a ride
Doing the garden, digging the weeds
Who could ask for more?
Will you still need me, will you still feed me
When I'm sixty-four?
I mean, come on - I know plenty of 64 year olds (my sister turns that age in January, for one... and she still acts younger than me... always has!) and frankly, Macca's chirpy thumbs-aloft anthem to "old age" is an insult to every one of them! And while we're on the subject, Paul - who has grandchildren called Vera, Chuck & Dave?

Fortunately, 25 years after Sgt. Pepper (in 1992... a further 25 years ago from today), Paul Heaton and Dave Hemingway gave the song-title a much-needed overhaul... with characteristic bite.

8. The Beautiful South - When I'm 84
No dribbling or incontinence
No longing for the old sixpence
Just smoking weed till age makes sense

When I'm 74
I'll dream on 
No smoking pipes and drinking bitter
No eyeing up the baby sitter
I'll trip up kids and I'll drop my litter!

When I'm 84
I'll dream on
Oh, and while we're on the subject, my mum is one year away from 90. She told me a few weeks ago that "89 is much harder than 88". So that's something to look forward to...
You're in your nineties, Arthur
Be careful with your back
Exercise your muscles
I'd rather Jack!
That last line always makes me cheer. Considering how much (as previously discussed here) I always hated The Reynolds Girls...


  1. Perfect lyrics, love that.
    A little while back on one of your other Mid-Life Crisis posts you were talking about the new 37 and I reckoned 67 was the new 37, so by that token 94 would have to be the new 64. (We're getting younger by the minute, woohoo!)

    1. I have a post next week about someone complaining about hitting 30 and leaving his 20s behind, so this mid-life thing can really hit you at any time... and keep on hitting you as time goes by.

  2. I remember seeing a comedian shortly after George Harrison died who commented "wouldn't be ironic if none of The Beatles made it to 64"

    1. What's more ironic is that the two that did were the two most embarrassing ones.

  3. I am relieved that 64 is no longer seen as simply a time to weed and sit by the fireside knitting - Times have indeed changed.

    It's bad enough that Sgt. Pepper is from 50 years ago now but the Beautiful South 25 years ago! How the heck did that happen?


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