2022 Contenders: Unboxing Biscuits

One of many mysterious, inexplicable phenomena of the modern age is the fascination young people have with watching Unboxing Videos. This is where someone buys something - it could be a piece of high tech hifi equipment, a child's toy or computer game, or a rare mint condition slabbed copy of Amazing Spider-Man #121 - then films themselves opening the box it comes in and admiring / utilising said new acquisition. And thousands of people with nothing better to do with their time watch said video on youtube and give it the thumbs up.

(I chose the Spider-Man comic as an example for a number of reasons. As a former obsessive comic book collector, and still a die-hard Spidey fan, even I wouldn't watch a video of someone opening a parcel containing an old comic they'd just bought. Especially not a slabbed copy which, for the uninitiated, is a comic encased in an unopenable plastic box so you can only look at the front and back covers and never touch or read the comic inside... because in doing so, you might lower the condition of the book and affect its value. Imagine that: you spend a fortune on a rare item you can't ever actually appreciate. But at least you can film yourself not being able to do so. And some idiots will watch you not being able to do that.)

I mention all this as a lead in to telling you that I received the new Half Man Half Biscuit CD on the day it came out, as a gift from Louise, for our anniversary. I didn't film myself opening the parcel, but I really ought to have filmed myself listening to it for the first time. You could have watched the tears rolling down my face and heard the uncontrollable fit of laughter that overcame me in response to a number of the tracks, particularly this one...

...bear in mind I was doing 70 on the M1 at the time. How I managed to keep control of the car, I do not know.

It's the story about the monkey that did it.